malaiyas Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Just looking for some kind of consensus here - how quickly do you expect to move interaction from a dating app/site to real life? How quickly do you expect to exchange numbers? At what point is this no longer a dating prospect, but merely a pen pal? What say you?
Rayce Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 ASAP because you can be deceived too easily over the internet with someone you haven't met. I only exchange phone numbers after I have met someone. I don't do pen pals anymore. 1
frus69 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 As a girl, I always get guys asking for my number and asking me out within 2 days of chatting online. And if I say yes to a date, and turns out I like the guy, I will turn down all other guys who take too long to ask. So if you are a guy, I suggest you do it as soon as you feel comfortable. Dont rush if you aint feeling it yet. But dont wait if you are feeling it.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Move to real life as fast as possible ... After one exchange if both of you are interested ... but go for a low-cost first meeting ... Don't schedule an expensive, elaborate date ... Just go meet somewhere and see if you guys like each other. Online exchanges are so misleading ... you really don't know what a person looks like until you meet them in person. And this is true even when the person takes an accurate photo. The live person is always different from the photo. And voice ... you need to hear the real voice asap. And ditto the other person with you. And of course, you'll get a feel for what this person is really like in person.
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Well I use to give a guy max a week to ask for my number but because I do multi date I don’t really care these days about one particular guys time table. My logic is the guy that stands out from the rest by calling and asking me out will trump anybody twiddling their thumbs. 3
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 So if you are a guy, I suggest you do it as soon as you feel comfortable. Dont rush if you aint feeling it yet. But dont wait if you are feeling it. This is good advice imo 1
Gretchen12 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Meet within a week. Maybe two weeks if there was a good reason (out of town, other important event.)
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 As far as dates...I tend to give guys a month to ask me out or I will ignore. Again I am not watching that hard for same reason I mentioned above.
Rayce Posted June 19, 2019 Posted June 19, 2019 I hate texting and the last thing I want to do is chit chat back and forth providing a complete stranger information about myself. I only want to exchange a few texts... maybe one a day or every other day until I am asked out.
Author malaiyas Posted June 19, 2019 Author Posted June 19, 2019 I’m in full agreement that the sooner, the better. I’m female. I really prefer the guy to lead. I have been talking to this guy on Bumble for about a week… on the app itself with no indication that it will ever move beyond just endless chatting. I was wondering if I was being hasty, because I generally want to meet within three days of exchanging those initial messages.
frus69 Posted June 19, 2019 Posted June 19, 2019 well, nothing wrong with you asking him out, if you really like him
Lotsgoingon Posted June 19, 2019 Posted June 19, 2019 Dont rush if you aint feeling it yet. But dont wait if you are feeling it. This quote is so good it ought to be a proverb.
JEG88 Posted June 19, 2019 Posted June 19, 2019 As soon as you feel comfortable that you have vetted the other person enough and still like the online interaction. At least, as much as you can vet through messaging. Have to learn how to weed out weird vibes through online tone or wording. So length of time really depends. When I was still single, I would ask women to meet up for a coffee, brunch, something simple. 1
cammie Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 As soon as possible but only if you both are interested. When you really feel that you are interested in someone there is no reason to wait. It is good to have a phone call before you meet someone, but if you don't feel comfortable to exchange the phone number, you can replace it with a video chat. Dating sites and apps are only a way to find people to meet so meeting in person is the most important step before you decide whether you are interested in some person or not.
greymatter Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 When I was dating, I never did phone calls (and would never do a video chat even now) with someone before meeting. In my opinion, there is no need and giving out personal information before meeting someone is not a good idea.
greymatter Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 I usually scheduled things a week out, depending on what I had going on (other dates, plans with friends, plans with my kid, and the other person's schedule. I work full time and am with my kid in the evenings so during the week was generally not an option. With my current partner, we weren't able to meet for two weeks after our first message exchange. It all worked out just fine, for us.
rightondude Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 as a man you need to ask a woman you meet on OLD whether she'd like to meet you for a drink (or similar) one night as soon as you have more than one conversation. I wouldn't do so in the first unless it went extremely well (and it has before, but not often). But if she responds to the second "sup?" you know she's at least tentatively interested in talking to you further. You should wrap up the second (good) conversation by asking her to meet. Anything less and you get tossed in the pile. 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 Pretty much ASAP. I don't mean the second they message you, but after a little convo there should be a move to meet up. A lot of guys I talked to never wanted to meet up, prob just using me to pass the time or were hoping for sex. One guy talked to me several months and I ended up meeting him after making a new my profile (I started dating someone and we broke up). He was extremely strange and I understood why he didn't want to meet w/me. I figure he thought if I fell for him over messages, I'd take him as he is. 1
Iris The Butterfly Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 Immediate response without reading the others'? Any more than a week or two is my level of patience. I've talked to guys for a Lonnnng time when I was OLD.. it's like, umm... don't you want to meet me?! Looking back on the few successful meets I did have.... (meaning we dated more than 3 times)... they all asked to meet within a week or so, give or take.
DrNo1962 Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 3-5 text messages back and forth in my experience.
OatsAndHall Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 ASAP... I'm not using the apps to be an internet pen pal. They're dating apps and I'm looking for a date not to spend hours texting and "getting to know someone" via text. The longer you wait to nail down a date, the more likely you are to get put on the back burner or ghosted completely. Also, the quicker you are to pull the trigger, the quicker you are to either get a date or to get shot down and move on. I generally ask a woman to meet within the first day of conversation. If a red flag pops up within that first day of conversation then I just move on knowing that it's a wash. If they ask to "get to know me better" I tell them that I prefer to meet someone face to face as it's tough to learn much about someone via text, especially with my sarcasm. Some accept the date, some don't and I wish them well and move on if that's the case.
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