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Posted (edited)
The ow int his case sounds like she fell for someone with some serious personality issues. Some people are like that...human wrecking balls. She;s both lucky and smart to be rid of him, and she now is also paying a heavy price for his issues. She's also struggling. Meanwhile, he gets to walk away relatively unscathed into the arms of the next woman who is kind enough and empathetic enough to fall for his crap.

 

such a thoughtful reply. and i agree w/ you 100%. i wrote a follow up post moments ago before seeing this. and it applies perfectly. i will not allow myself to be sucked back in. if it wasn't that we worked together, i'd have blocked already. took that call. heard what he had to say. but i'm not swayed. he can get a divorce & if i'm still interested then, whatever. i'm feeling stronger again & not going back to what i was in.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Posted

Has he suddenly proved himself to be different than you thought he was an hour ago?

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Posted (edited)

hi heartwhole2. no. not at all. i'm just documenting this as it goes. i took the call. i heard. my opinion hasn't changed - but my opinion has always been he's a conflict avoider and can't deal with taking a position. whether that be working on his marriage or ending it and moving on w/ me or whomever. he's the same way in business. easy going. a pleaser. helpful to everyone. avoids any confrontations. he may be a sociopath. dark triad. empathy issues. all possible. my concern. my focus. is myself. what do i need to do to function w/ a clear head. have the ability to focus on my well being, my work, my house that i need to run (single, but have responsibilities, bills, a large home that needs upkeep...). this rollercoaster of a relationship has taken a toll on my ability to focus on what is important to me. my life. like so many OW, my focus has been entirely too much on the MM drama show. if i continue to feel stronger and don't feel (at least immediately) forced out of my job, that's a win. i have 2 weeks vacation coming to me. personal days. sick days. i want to be measured and do what's smart for myself. i took that call. doesn't mean i'm sucked back in. it's day to day though. and that is why i'm here. i need the support of those that can see all of the clearly. from the outside.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Posted
i want to be measured and do what's smart for myself. i took that call. doesn't mean i'm sucked back in.

 

 

Good choice IMO. It won't be easy, esp. with him pestering you and re-triggering you, but it's doable. Keep at it.

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