Versacehottie Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 You need to find your next purpose in life. Then the other things will fall into place. This ^^ is oversimplified but the general idea. When your life is unsturctured because you have the freedom to do whatever you want, you can often spin aimlessly (and be lonely of course). Besides a gf, what would you want to do to add meaning to your life? Keep in mind that you don't need to make the purpose huge or fully commit to it being a lifelong purpose but smaller, more temporary things will give you feedback in life that you need to guide you and for lack of a better word, mold you. I think you need to create a friend group. Start small and achievable. You need to be careful that people aren't using you for your money which comes with the territory. Try not to be hypersensitive. Choose areas where people might have similar socio-economic level right now or headed that way (if those interest you) or where it's not a factor in the activity or the group. I forgot what you said in your OP but something about wanting to know where things will go with a girl before you hook up or go on a date. No one has that luxury. Maybe you should try some things that are somewhat risky (like adventure type sports, even zip lining to start small) to acclimate yourself to taking some risk. I'm serious. Obviously you were able to take risk when it came to investing, which not everyone can do, but try to expand where else you take it and usually it will spill over or you should make an effort to transfer risk taking to opening yourself up to rejection--as it is a part of dating and social interaction. As far as not initiating with women, that isn't going to get you far at all with the majority of them. You sound like a numbers guy so if i told you that won't work with 80%+ of women and that continued interactions with women in which you don't take the lead will probably statistically fizzle out, does that motivate you to change your approach? 3
TheFinalWord Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Both men and women like to date people with money. Money = More options in life. More freedom. They don't call it FU money for no reason Your money is part of who you are. Yes, you should screen women to make sure they aren't just gold digging, but if you don't take any risks in life you aren't going to get far. You should know that since you invested in bit coin 1
Lotsgoingon Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) Dude, with your new do-re-mi, you can afford to go to the best therapists and the best life coaches. Your story reflects my sense of money ... Which is ... the better life you have before you get a windfall ... the better you'll be able to enjoy the windfall. Getting a windfall is actually quite challenging if you've never had much money before ... because you don't have practice with having all that money. BTW: congrats on your successful investment. I have a number of wealthy friends and acquaintances. The happiest are those with close connections to family, good friends, fun activities. Sure, these families go to nice vacations and resorts and travel a lot. But what makes is work is that the families get along and really have fun as a family ... and they enjoy the trips and adventures. Oh ... and these wealthy associates of mind ... the happy ones ... all married high-functioning spouses--no beauty queens. Yes, their spouses are "pretty enough" or "handsome enough" but none settled for beauty queens. They married people with similar education levels (high for most of the people I know) and really picked partners who they shared a lot of interests with who also came some level of money. Back to you, living happily with your money is a process. No magic bullet. Set a goal for 5 years, 10 years, start working towards that goal. Part of your goal is developing real friends, real participation in activities and dating ... You'll get better at managing the money and feel good about your life. But it takes time. Find a good therapist or/and a good life coach and start reading on building a real life. And then start rock and rolling to the life you want. No need to feel bad with this discovery. The discovery you've made is one that rich folks around the world and throughout history have made ... I got money suddenly. Now what? And you can really feel bad because of the thought, "I should be happy." Develop your great life ... and use money to execute that great life. Edited June 18, 2019 by Lotsgoingon 3
alphamale Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 totally true Lgo...it's all about family and education
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 You need to spend some of that hard earned & smartly invested money on a life coach (not a PUA book) but a real person who works with you Directly. You need to learn social skills & how to overcome your anxiety. Somebody had to teach you how to code didn't they? or at least you rad books & practiced. Learning about socialization is no different. Only hear you are the D student, so get a tutor already. 3
alphamale Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 hire a couple of high-end call girls for a weekend and build your confidence
elaine567 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 hire a couple of high-end call girls for a weekend and build your confidence I have a feeling he has been going there already... ...it's not hard to find strippers, porn, and hookers but usually most days I am all alone driving my fancy car to a restaurant or theater. He needs companionship not just sex. 3
alphamale Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 He needs companionship not just sex. even hookers need to eat
elaine567 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 even hookers need to eat He needs friends and a real gf not a hooker... 3
Author Jexur Posted June 18, 2019 Author Posted June 18, 2019 I have a feeling he has been going there already... . Yeah, and there are also a bunch of "happy ending" massage parlors too all around town everywhere in every city. Even if there is no HE. I still love massages No, I have no problem with women if I am paying.
oceanblue12 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 How did this thread evolve into one with HOOKERS????? 1
elaine567 Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 How did this thread evolve into one with HOOKERS????? It didn't evolve, it was there in the first post.
Author Jexur Posted June 20, 2019 Author Posted June 20, 2019 I read some of the responses again, and just to clear something I do have some hobbies: playing chess (in a chess club with real people, not just online). skydiving -- sometimes. Also, watching youtube and spending time online were pretty fun hobbies too, as I have done that for years and was very happy. I am not sure what changed. Maybe it's not money. Sometimes I think I would have been happier if I had never met this one girl at work a couple of years ago (around the same time as I made the money). I am constantly thinking about her. That distracts me from things I used to do and was fine. I He probably convinced himself the "chicks" weren't coming for him to "bang" because he was poor. I had no delusions like that. I knew why chicks weren't coming to bang, as I would avoid them. They would make me nervous: sweaty hands, fast heart rate, and all. I had that problem since I was a kid, like since I was 10 or even younger. If anything, I have gotten a lot better as at least I can talk normally and say hi I was extremely shy. For example, I preferred drive-thru and takeouts as I couldn't eat comfortably in a restaurant around other people. Now I always eat in restaurants. It took some effort, and practice but obviously, I have gotten better. Also, I don't think I was ever "poor" but I wasn't "rich" either. I already had a house and a car, but I had to work to pay for things like that. The only difference is that now I don't have to work, probably ever, as I could live off just the interest, which is more than double I made working 60+ hours.
Highndry Posted June 20, 2019 Posted June 20, 2019 If I were you, the last thing I'd be doing is driving around in a fancy car if you want to find a good woman. Keep it low key. Flashy is never good, and you're just going to bring out the gold-diggers. I like to drive older vehicles. I don't have to worry about door dings and things, and I look working class which is how I want to appear regardless of my financial condition, which is better than most in this country. If I were you, I'd keep the fancy car in the garage and drive something more ordinary, and portray yourself as just a middle income sort of guy while you try to find a partner, because otherwise you're going to end up with a dreadful woman. 3
chillii Posted June 20, 2019 Posted June 20, 2019 yeah l found the car thing huge. l always remember pulling up at the beach, l'd get out and people literally turned away. l was as humble as l could possibly be it's just a damn car, buttttt. I'd been going to that beach before all that for years and l was just one of the crowd before. l drive second hand ordinary everyday cars now and when l pull up at the beach these days women feel free to take a good look and l do too haha. l just notice it the difference is huge , can't explain it though just is what it is.
healing light Posted June 20, 2019 Posted June 20, 2019 I have to say, I agree with not being excessively flashy if you are looking for a life partner. Being able to offer a partner financial security is a nice bonus, imo, and I'm sure many women would like that--but you want to make sure she likes you for you. Drive nice cars if you truly enjoy it, but don't do it if your only motivation is to impress others because that might be the vibe people pick up on and are turned off by. Did you like the co-worker who you declined with the tattoos? How will you be able to make headway with women if you don't initiate and you reject their advances? You put yourself in a catch 22 if you don't either accept the advances or make them. I would imagine that most people feel vulnerable or anxious when they first ask someone out that they fancy, so you're not alone in your fear of rejection. This is what I would work on--the social anxiety. It may help you to join groups and socialize with women as friends first and then escalate it into asking for a date. You do sound like you're lonely, so it would be good to find a group of people to connect with and see if you can learn to mitigate your anxiety around socializing.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2019 Posted June 20, 2019 If you managed to overcome your anxiety & eat in a restaurant, you can learn to date. You simply need somebody to teach you. Look into getting a life coach. With a bit of polish I'm sure you will be find. Between the good job, the sound investment strategy, playing chess & skydiving you sound like an interesting person. You simply need to learn to lead with your best food forward & it's not your money.
Eugeleh Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 If I were you, the last thing I'd be doing is driving around in a fancy car if you want to find a good woman. Keep it low key. Flashy is never good, and you're just going to bring out the gold-diggers. Bit of a car guy myself, and there is good evidence to indicate that driving a sweet car really does make a man more attractive to women. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/homo-consumericus/201012/men-you-re-only-good-looking-the-car-you-re-driving If you're a car guy, Jexur, then stick with it. But it's evident that you need to develop your social skills. Your posts make you come across as likable, but developing a social network is crucial if you want to get this issue solved.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 Bit of a car guy myself, and there is good evidence to indicate that driving a sweet car really does make a man more attractive to women. I guess it matters what "sweet car" means. Newer model/clean? Sure. A super fancy sports car with a man with a smug expression on his face driving it? Nope. "Nice car, sorry about your penis." 2
Highndry Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 Bit of a car guy myself, and there is good evidence to indicate that driving a sweet car really does make a man more attractive to women. Hahaha. I think the whole thing went over your head. If your car makes you more attractive to women, then the women are attracted to the car and your money, not you. 1
alphamale Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 If your car makes you more attractive to women, then the women are attracted to the car and your money, not you. well...at least you're bringing something to the party
Author Jexur Posted June 21, 2019 Author Posted June 21, 2019 If I were you, the last thing I'd be doing is driving around in a fancy car if you want to find a good woman. Keep it low key. Flashy is never good, and you're just going to bring out the gold-diggers. I don't try to court women anyway -- so chances of attracting gold-diggers is pretty low. I like wearing expensive watches and driving new cars just for fun. I don't drive sports cars. I like SUVs, like Model X, Land Rovers, BMWs, etc. Seriously, if I can't even do that then what's the point anyway. There is no prize for being a rich person in the grave. 1
chillii Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 Very true very true , if l had it again l'd be using it too or what's the point.
Eugeleh Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 (edited) Hahaha. I think the whole thing went over your head. If your car makes you more attractive to women, then the women are attracted to the car and your money, not you. Please...... Driving a nice car helps create a perception of success and prosperity (I'm well aware that some spend well above their means to create an illusion), and even those who say they see it as overcompensation are subject to the subconscious impression formed by men who have a nice ride. A nice car is neither sufficient nor necessary for dating success, but factors which increase a man's perceived prosperity help, period. Anyone who believes otherwise is swimming upstream against all evidence . You aren't going to argue that earning a good living as a man isn't considered attractive to women, are you? It isn't just the money their attracted to , but the perceived quality/health of the man who is capable of earning it. Edited June 21, 2019 by Eugeleh
alphamale Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 (edited) @Eugeleh.... bang! you hit the nail on the head Eugeleh Edited June 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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