alphamale Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 What is "acting like a woman"? verb (used with object), e·mas·cu·lat·ed, e·mas·cu·lat·ing. to castrate. to deprive of strength or vigor; weaken. adjective deprived of or lacking strength or vigor; effeminate.
Normm Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 You stop being the Alpha male the moment you slip a ring on her finger. Next question? 1
basil67 Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 verb (used with object), e·mas·cu·lat·ed, e·mas·cu·lat·ing. to castrate. to deprive of strength or vigor; weaken. adjective deprived of or lacking strength or vigor; effeminate. So women have no strength, vigor and are weak? 1
basil67 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Come to think of it, if a woman can make a man do this, I would argue that she's strong, dominant and powerful. (Of course, there are better ways to channel her power)
alphamale Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 So women have no strength, vigor and are weak? women are on the alpha-beta spectrum just like men
Peony86 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Surely this thread belongs on a PUA forum and not here? It contains assumptions that most men thankfully grow out of by the time they're in their late 20s/early 30s. 2
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 As I always said before the times doesn’t change on what men think on a subconscious level....
basil67 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Yet your description of "being a woman" doesn't reflect alpha-beta spectrum.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 I agree with alphamale that it's ok to show vulnerability sometimes, but in general, women want men to be strong, not overly emotional and sensitive. There are so many weak girlymen these days that I imagine it's not very hard to set yourself apart from that.
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Yea I personally don’t use those terms but how people see masculinity vs femininity is a thing...generally speaking
Author ironpony Posted June 17, 2019 Author Posted June 17, 2019 Yeah I actually did have a huge meltdown to her after a few drinks, and told her I feel like I can't be the real me around her, cause I'm suppose to act all confident and secure all the time. But maybe it's not a big deal as it's probably normal for guys to have confidence, but have their inner demons of life, creep on them here and there.
elaine567 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 (edited) How this will pan out depends on how your gf views you, and her expectations of you as her partner. This could work in your favour. "Thank God you finally have opened up to me" or Not in your favour "OMG you are not really the man I thought you were..." Time will tell. Edited June 17, 2019 by elaine567 2
fromheart Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 We're all dealing with some sort of pain or loss, that's part of the human experience. How you deal with it defines you. It's absolutely fine to say to your girl, this is what Im going through and this is how Im dealing with it. It's not ok to say this is what Im going through and not offer a solution. It's not ok to be held like a child by her, as you cry. You are in a sexual relationship with her. At best she'll take charge which will ruin the chemistry between you, at worse she'll get worried and confused. The successful men out there, many are driven by pain. Driven by. It's a source of fuel. If its a source of disease, then you shouldn't be in a relationship. I know this sounds like harsh advice, but you want to be an alpha male. What do you do when you feel this way? Ill put it into music sometimes. Women love that. Ill also train in martial arts. Women love it when I'm fit and healthy. Neither method is to gain their appreciation, it's my personal therapy. You could apply this pain to bettering your career, or fixing things in the home. Again, these are attractive qualities to yourself and your partner. Using pain as fuel, then sharing the results with your partner. We all feel the way you described. But you must have a method for it.
fromheart Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Yeah I actually did have a huge meltdown to her after a few drinks, and told her I feel like I can't be the real me around her, cause I'm suppose to act all confident and secure all the time. But maybe it's not a big deal as it's probably normal for guys to have confidence, but have their inner demons of life, creep on them here and there. Meltdown about what? Was there an external threat? Was the roof leaking? And you take action in those situations, you can meltdown later in private. Might as well have pulled down your pants and defecated in front of her dude. Seriously. Your going to sabotage your relationship like this. Sorry that's harsh, but it needs to be said. Next date, hit the gym and go for a walk beforehand. ENJOY your date. Replace your stress levels with endorphins, adrenaline and enjoy yourself.
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Yeah I actually did have a huge meltdown to her after a few drinks, and told her I feel like I can't be the real me around her, cause I'm suppose to act all confident and secure all the time. Did she respond positively? I have some concerns for you because this sounds like you confessed to her while under the influence that you have basically been lying to her the whole time she knows you. That is not a great revelation. You need to find balance in yourself. When you do that you will be able to feel confident & less like a fraud. 2
Els Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 If a woman you're with can't accept you showing emotional vulnerability after a year, you should seriously reconsider being with her. Why don't you give her the chance to see the real you? A relationship is a partnership, which means being able to open up to each other and support one another. 1
Woggle Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 You stop being an alpha male when you put on a contrived tough guy act to impress a woman who believes in traditional gender roles when it suits her. 3
gaius Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Did she respond positively? I'm sure she took him home, ripped off all his clothes and attacked him because she was just so turned on. As others said, it's ok to be a little vulnerable, but if you feel the need to have that level of breakdown finding another outlet for it would probably be better. And if you can't feel like you're being yourself in a relationship without going on and on about your insecurities, well, good luck with that.
Woggle Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 People are alpha when they do what they want and live on their own terms. When they live their life in a way that allows them to be as free as possible that is what makes them alpha. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 I'm sure she took him home, ripped off all his clothes and attacked him because she was just so turned on. . Of course that would be a positive response, sarcasm notwithstanding. I'm just hoping she didn't make him feel worse while he was vulnerable. You know as well as I do that some women would insult a man who cried & demand that he "man up" or some other such nonsense. 1
Author ironpony Posted June 18, 2019 Author Posted June 18, 2019 Meltdown about what? Was there an external threat? Was the roof leaking? And you take action in those situations, you can meltdown later in private. Might as well have pulled down your pants and defecated in front of her dude. Seriously. Your going to sabotage your relationship like this. Sorry that's harsh, but it needs to be said. Next date, hit the gym and go for a walk beforehand. ENJOY your date. Replace your stress levels with endorphins, adrenaline and enjoy yourself. Oh well I feel I did stupid things before in the past and allowed myself to be taken advantage of and payed the price, and that was getting to me. I feel like I just had to get it all out and told her I was sick of putting on this confidence and secure persona all the time, as if I don't have any demons. Perhaps having a huge sudden meltdown while under the influence, wasn't the best, but for some reason, it hit me hard then all of a sudden. Did she respond positively? I have some concerns for you because this sounds like you confessed to her while under the influence that you have basically been lying to her the whole time she knows you. That is not a great revelation. You need to find balance in yourself. When you do that you will be able to feel confident & less like a fraud. She responded positively and said she was there for me and wanted to help. Maybe she doesn't see it as me acting differently, and thinks maybe we all have different sides... 1
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 She responded positively and said she was there for me and wanted to help. Maybe she doesn't see it as me acting differently, and thinks maybe we all have different sides... I'm so glad. Try to remember you can be confident in general but still lean on your partner when you are feeling stressed / upset. You don't have to a stoic robot but do try to not to have too many drunken meltdowns. Hopefully if you let things out gradually going forward you won't have another one of these dam bursting situations.
Kitty Tantrum Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Gretchen12 pretty much covered what I was gonna say on the first page. All of this "alpha/beta" categorization of specific behaviors and relationship dynamics between men and women is contrived anyway. "Alpha" is the top tier of the social hierarchy - not a checklist of specific behaviors in an individual, or within the context of a two-person partnership. Men and women have their own pecking orders. A man being "alpha" is about how he stacks up against OTHER MEN - not about being more "manly" than his wife or girlfriend. Just like how a woman being "alpha" is about her social/leadership position relative to other women - not about holding more power in the relationship or behaving in more masculine ways than her boyfriend/husband. A man who thinks he needs to be "alpha" in relation to his woman is probably not pack-leader material, if you know what I mean. This is competitive behavior where there should be cooperation - and that is socially dysfunctional. 1
MaleIntuition Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Gretchen12 pretty much covered what I was gonna say on the first page. All of this "alpha/beta" categorization of specific behaviors and relationship dynamics between men and women is contrived anyway. "Alpha" is the top tier of the social hierarchy - not a checklist of specific behaviors in an individual, or within the context of a two-person partnership. Men and women have their own pecking orders. A man being "alpha" is about how he stacks up against OTHER MEN - not about being more "manly" than his wife or girlfriend. Just like how a woman being "alpha" is about her social/leadership position relative to other women - not about holding more power in the relationship or behaving in more masculine ways than her boyfriend/husband. A man who thinks he needs to be "alpha" in relation to his woman is probably not pack-leader material, if you know what I mean. This is competitive behavior where there should be cooperation - and that is socially dysfunctional. Social hierarchy? Pecking order? Life isn’t some b-rated high school movie.
Kitty Tantrum Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 Well, if you don't believe in dominance hierarchy among social animals, that kinda deflates the whole idea of classifying anyone or anything as "alpha" or "beta" in the first place.
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