BrendanBaker Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 I'm taking a class and there is a girl that I need advice on. We sat next to each other for the first week of class and did not talk. I initiated at first and talked just about what we were doing in class, it was just a brief comment. The next day I got there early and wrote on my notebook asking for her number incase I missed class and wanted notes. I got her number on a Friday and sent her a text Sunday saying I thought she was cute and wanted to know if she would like to get pizza before class on Monday. She replied saying she was seeing someone. So I left it there. In class Monday we she still sat next to me and we did not talk. I had to miss class the next two days and she sent me a text asking if I was too cool for school these days. I responded saying don’t get worried I will be there next class. So the next class when she walked in she smiled when she saw me and we talked by far the most we ever have. We talked about where she worked, what she is studying, and a lot of other off topic things. When I went to leave she stopped me and started joking about the homework, I tried leaving again and she started a second conversation. My question is why is she giving me so much attention if she is seeing someone else. I want peoples opinions on if I am being delusional and seeing what I want to see, does she like me but when I asked her out she did not really know at the point and is now warming up to me?
d0nnivain Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 She likes you as a person &/or respects your intellect enough to make you a study buddy but doesn't want to date you.
smackie9 Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 Most likely she's one of those girls who enjoys getting attention from guys without the obligation of having to date. You made a friend......that's it. Maybe a cuddle buddy down the road.....please don't go there.
alphamale Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 BB i'm guessing you don't have a lot of experience with girls?
Marc878 Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 Most like attention but that doesn't necessarily mean a thing. If a girl smiles or makes conversation from what I've see most guys think immediately "hey she's into me"? Nope, just because they're friendly doesn't mean much. She told you she has a BF so if you want a friend ok but leave it at that. 1
alphamale Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 If a girl smiles or makes conversation from what I've see most guys think immediately "hey she's into me"? Nope, just because they're friendly doesn't mean much. yes Marc878, this is the #1 mistake men make with women 2
salparadise Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 (edited) My question is why is she giving me so much attention if she is seeing someone else. I want peoples opinions on if I am being delusional and seeing what I want to see, does she like me but when I asked her out she did not really know at the point and is now warming up to me? You'll have to play through to figure it out. She may be warming up, or she may be enjoying the ego stroke (wasting your time and attention). She may or may not have a bf. You don't know if that was a deflection or if she is actually seeing someone, and if she is seeing someone you don't know if she's seen him once or has been dating him for a long time. You don't know why she's being friendly –– perhaps gave it some thought and decided to give you a test drive. All you know is that the situation is ambiguous and she's encouraging your attention. What to do? Make a strong move and don't allow her to waste your time. Flirt and chat her up, pay her a few compliments... then catch her after class and ask for a real date in the most deliberate way. Tell her to say yes. If she does, it's game on and you'll figure it out as you go. If she says no, scale back the attention to barely any at all and see if she comes back. If not, let her go. If yes, another strong move. Right now she's naming the tune and you're doing the dance. You need to show her that you're strong enough to turn that around. Bottom line, if she's not willing to go out, then don't let her occupy any space in your head. Edited June 16, 2019 by salparadise
The Outlaw Posted June 16, 2019 Posted June 16, 2019 Take it for what it's worth. She's being friendly, probably nothing more. 1
basil67 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 You are a classmate and she's being friendly. Contrary to what some are saying, being friends with a classmate doesn't mean that she's getting an 'ego stroke'.
basil67 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Salsa, how does you plan work out if she's only interested as a friend, he cuts her off and then they get teamed up on an assignment? Or the cohort goes out for drinks and half of them know that he's cut her off because she won't go on a date? He will be the butt of all the gossip. My daughter's degree is a small one and they've all been warned to not make enemies because they'll all work with one another in their careers. Dating drama should not interfere with career goals. 1
Grey40 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 I’m seeing someone is a classic line used to reject guys. Whether she’s telling the truth or not she’s telling you she’s not interested. You can continue to be friendly with her in class. Maybe she’ll break up at some point and start to show interest. Best move now is just kind of pretend nothing happened. Don’t keep trying to flirt and don’t try hard to get to know her at this point. Just be casual and start going after other women.
salparadise Posted June 20, 2019 Posted June 20, 2019 I agree ^^^. There's more going on here than her being polite. This is one of those situations where playing it correctly could pay off. She's interested on some level, seeing someone or not. If she's sending signals she wants your attention.
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