crazyguy123 Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 So last year, I asked this girl out. She rejected me and wanted to be friends. I told her I wasn't interested in friendship and if she ever changed her mind, she can contact me. I actually see this girl quite often and we would talk once in a while. Then I got into a relationship and she knows about it too. After my relationship ended, I gave some time for myself and just focused on me. I saw this girl again and we spoke. I noticed she has lost a significant amount of weight and is extremely skinny. She told me she has been having some health issues. Then, she kinda brought it up we should do something over the summer and I agreed. A few days later, I messaged her and asked her out. She asked me about my previous relationship and I replied "It ended a while back and it was for the best." So when I asked her out, she told me she couldn't do it right now and she wanted to do another time. She even emphasized don't get the wrong idea. She just can't do it now. She told me lets try again another time. One of my mutual friends said she's being honest because she does have some health issues. She told me that earlier before I even asked her out. Is this a rejection? If not, what do I do from here?
I'veseenbetterlol Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 So last year, I asked this girl out. She rejected me and wanted to be friends. I told her I wasn't interested in friendship and if she ever changed her mind, she can contact me. I actually see this girl quite often and we would talk once in a while. Then I got into a relationship and she knows about it too. After my relationship ended, I gave some time for myself and just focused on me. I saw this girl again and we spoke. I noticed she has lost a significant amount of weight and is extremely skinny. She told me she has been having some health issues. Then, she kinda brought it up we should do something over the summer and I agreed. A few days later, I messaged her and asked her out. She asked me about my previous relationship and I replied "It ended a while back and it was for the best." So when I asked her out, she told me she couldn't do it right now and she wanted to do another time. She even emphasized don't get the wrong idea. She just can't do it now. She told me lets try again another time. One of my mutual friends said she's being honest because she does have some health issues. She told me that earlier before I even asked her out. Is this a rejection? If not, what do I do from here? Classic rejection, along the lines of, it's you not me....Don't do anything.
Gretchen12 Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 You can be sure a person is seriously ill when there's been a drastic weight loss. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 I think it's bad timing. If she has seriously health issues that caused a dramatic & noticeable weight loss, where do you suppose she has time to date? That said, if she was truly interested she could have offered an alternative time / place. I suspect that she may like you but knows she is not in a physical or emotional place to date right now so she's avoiding any entanglements.
Author crazyguy123 Posted June 15, 2019 Author Posted June 15, 2019 Classic rejection' date=' along the lines of, it's you not me....Don't do anything.[/quote'] I'm not trying to be in denial or anything. This is more of a question though. When I asked her out, she really emphasized "another time". Said it quite a bit. Why do that though?
preraph Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 She's already told you she only wants to be friends. There is no reason to think otherwise. Women don't suddenly change their minds about whether they're attracted to you. 1
Inspire Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 I am sorry but that response is utter BS. "Let's try another time" ... when is that exactly? I guess you're just supposed to put yourself out there again and hope its a better time for her? Health issues or not, her answer could have used more texture. If I was seriously interested in someone but had to reject their advance, I'd definitely make more of an effort to explain myself. I'd pass on this one.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 So you do NOT want to assume she's suddenly interested in more--she did say she wanted to be friends right ... You want to assume that's still her feeling. And ... given her health issues ... it is probably quite smart for her not to spend time with guys who may be interested in her right now. She's trying to focus and doesn't need anything emotionally complicated. Health problems sap all kinds of energy, physical and mental. And treatments for serious conditions can be brutal. I worry you're assuming too much ... Yes, I think she might have gone out with you at another time--as friends! Then, she kinda brought it up we should do something over the summer and I agreed. This does not constitute expressing interest in more than being friends. Sounds like she just likes you as a person and was being warm. There are people I might say ... yeah, we should get together ... and yet, it is hardly a priority. If people want to get together, they usually say something a lot stronger than "we should do something." So no, I don't see her words as a rejection because in my view she was telling you I can't hang out as friends right now, I don't have room to make new friends or new male friends right now.
frus69 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Doesn't matter what the reason, nothing you can do now. If she turned you down cuz she is sick, then you cant keep asking her out because, well, she needs to focus on getting better! 1
JEG88 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Leave her be to deal with whatever she has going on. If you don't think you can just be friends with her, then move on and don't linger. It won't be healthy for either of you if you keep trying.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 It's a rejection, yes. There's nothing more for you to do, OP. The ball is in her court but I wouldn't places any bets on this one working out.
Grey40 Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Rejection is strong word and will make you feel worse. Maybe she rejected, maybe she’s just not ready—doesn’t matter though, either way she’s not an option. Best thing is to keep moving. So many fish in the sea.
fromheart Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 Your game was good until you contacted her to arrange to meet. She rejected you, so she must do all of the reaching out. But you have to make your intentions clear again. If your not interested in friendship, then she must only contact you if she feels the same way. I wouldn't meet up with a woman who tells me she's not interested on principle, even if I didn't like her. If she's not healthy on top of that, she's really not the best choice of partner anyway.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 17, 2019 Posted June 17, 2019 I don't think it's a rejection. Maybe she's going through radiation or something and never knows how she will feel from one day to the next, and wants to wait until it's over.
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