Shining One Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 This springs up frequently in the various paying for date threads. Women spend more time and money getting ready for a date than men. The purposes of this thread is to put some numbers to that cost. First, some ground rules: New outfits don't count unless you only wear it for that specific date.Getting your hair done and other professional beauty tasks only count if you got it specifically for that date. If you do get these services done periodically for dating purposes, divide the cost by the number of dates. Example: You get your hair done for $200 and go on 10 dates before your next hair do, the cost is $20. If you would get your hair done even if you're not dating, then you don't count the cost.Specific product use should be divided accordingly. You didn't use all of that $100 bottle of perfume on one date.So ladies, what does it cost you to go out on a date?
Els Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 This varies hugely from person to person. I've known women who literally went to the salon to get a perfect manicure, blowdry, eyebrow, Brazilian wax, etc specifically for a date - that would be in the region of $200 in and of itself. Maybe add a designer/silk dress that needs to be drycleaned by a reputable drycleaner, and their professional-grade makeup, and you'd hit $300. I'm a lot more low key than that - I probably couldn't even give you a number because it'd cost less than drinks most of the time, lol. I do my own manicure etc, which saves money but doesn't look as "perfect". On special occasions with H I might wear a dryclean-only dress which would bring the bill up to $30 or so. I'd never be with a guy who needed a woman to be constantly dressed up and perfectly-groomed. 4
norudder Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 (edited) Take into account the time spent on the effort. I might not shave everyday of a weekend, especially depending on season. Even if I do my own hair I don't blow-dry style my hair everyday of the week but will on date nights. My make-up routine is usually simple mascara, gloss and go, but will do full lips and liner for dates, etc. That's an easy hour plus of time invested before the date even starts. I also don't look at dating as an excercise in cost comparison though. It's fun getting pretty for someone whose company I'm looking forward to enjoying. I also don't expect a man I'm seeing to carry all the financial outlay. Edited June 14, 2019 by norudder 2
Kitty Tantrum Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 Time would definitely be the biggest expense for me, as I'm a DIY kinda gal. Shaving, waxing/plucking, blow-drying, styling, makeup, choosing the right outfit... none of that is part of my regular routine because I can't afford to prioritize beauty and grooming expenses all or most of the time. Taking 3-4 hours out of my day to do all of that is no small thing. Especially in a world where women are expected to have their own jobs, houses, cars, bills, etc. to keep on top of. That's a few hours of lost productivity. Back when I was managing a handful of young and mostly single female employees, girls arranging to get off work early or take a day off to get ready for a date was not uncommon. I started feeling the pinch of all of that, actually, when my ex wanted to do the whole swinging/open marriage thing (the dynamics of which was a lot like online dating before online dating was really a thing). I had a small home business at the time, and it wasn't long before the thought hit me that I was effectively "losing" somewhere in the neighborhood of $30-50 every time I got dolled up to go "meet people and see if we click." Quite eye-opening.
littleblackheart Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 First, some ground rules: So say you get a beer and a steak on your date; say that you periodically have these in between dates - do you count all the beers and steaks you have and divide the overall cost by the number of dates?:confused: Do you keep a special excel sheet to keep track of all your 'dating' expenses? Sounds like a headache, tbh. As far as the OP, I don't know a lot of people who date at assembly line rate so whatever effort they go to isn't likely to make a huge dent in their budget anyway. When my sister goes on dates, she takes time choosing a guy she thinks has potential 'on paper' as they say, and puts the same effort she would put in going out with friends - just enough to feel confident in herself, and suits her style. I've never seen her quantify it, and I've never heard her have an issue with it. 2
Author Shining One Posted June 14, 2019 Author Posted June 14, 2019 This varies hugely from person to person. I've known women who literally went to the salon to get a perfect manicure, blowdry, eyebrow, Brazilian wax, etc specifically for a date - that would be in the region of $200 in and of itself. Maybe add a designer/silk dress that needs to be drycleaned by a reputable drycleaner, and their professional-grade makeup, and you'd hit $300. I'm a lot more low key than that - I probably couldn't even give you a number because it'd cost less than drinks most of the time, lol. I do my own manicure etc, which saves money but doesn't look as "perfect". On special occasions with H I might wear a dryclean-only dress which would bring the bill up to $30 or so. I'd never be with a guy who needed a woman to be constantly dressed up and perfectly-groomed.I figured there would be a huge variance and I expect many different responses. The thing is, I have no idea what it's like. I've seen plenty of women on here say they spend significant amounts of money getting ready for each date, so I wanted to see what that looked like. 1
Author Shining One Posted June 14, 2019 Author Posted June 14, 2019 So say you get a beer and a steak on your date; say that you periodically have these in between dates - do you count all the beers and steaks you have and divide the overall cost by the number of dates?This isn't a valid comparison. Beer and steak at a restaurant (neither of which I consume, by the way) are bought individually for that specific instance. Outfits, products, and beauty services aren't purchased for a single instances, except in rare cases.Do you keep a special excel sheet to keep track of all your 'dating' expenses?No. My credit card statement tells me what my dating costs are. 1
littleblackheart Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 This isn't a valid comparison. It is (the beer and steak were examples - I have no actual clue what your food preferences are) - unless you don't usually eat at all and you only eat when you go on dates... But sure, carry on comparing dollar for dollar.
guest569 Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 It's the time cost for me. Especially if I've been single and not dating for some time. Getting rid of body hair and facial hair, hair dye, hair cut, manicure, pedicure if it's summer. That alone is 3-4 hours of hard work. Add another hour if I'm buying new clothes and makeup. Let's assume that I've done all of the above regularly. It's still gonna be 1 or 2 hours of maintenance shaving n tweezing body n facial hair, showering, washing hair, drying hair, makeup, teeth, choosing outfit, get dressed and out the door. And I am LOW maintenance. This is so I can be accepted in society and has wider implications than "who's wallet hurts the most when dating?" Australia's one and only female PM did a comparison on time deficit of women versus men. When they do a TV interview and get full hair, makeup, outfit.. 2 hours. Men rock up in the usual attire and get a touch of face powder. 2 minutes. Time is money. 3
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 (edited) So ladies, what does it cost you to go out on a date? However much I pay for the date: Dinner, drinks, tickets etc. Just like a guy. I don't run out of fingers on one hand the # of times I have bought a new outfit or even just a top / pair of shoes for a regular plain old date. There were a handful of black tie events for which I got my hair done & honestly most of those happened inside of an already committed LTR. But let's see, last time DH & I went to a black tie event & I paid: tickets: $750; new dress: $200; hair & makeup: $200; hotel room: $150; pre-party champagne: $100; donation to the charity for 50/50 tickets etc.: $200; transportation: $50; breakfast: $50 so all in all that date cost close to $2000 Edited June 14, 2019 by d0nnivain 1
Author Shining One Posted June 14, 2019 Author Posted June 14, 2019 Back when I was managing a handful of young and mostly single female employees, girls arranging to get off work early or take a day off to get ready for a date was not uncommon.This is interesting. I've never heard of a woman taking time off to get ready for a date. I haven't managed that many women though and I wouldn't be privy to reasons given to other managers. I can see that costing a lot if they're paid hourly.
alphamale Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 This is interesting. I've never heard of a woman taking time off to get ready for a date... maybe in 1947?? today people are so casual they would probably wear their pyjamas to a date 2
RecentChange Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 Curious OP, how much do you usually spend on a date? How many end up first date and no subsequent dates? Back when I was dating, first dates were always low key and not expensive. I always offered to pay my part (no big deal, I can certainly afford to take myself out!) but the men always insisted on paying. And honestly, it might not be PC, but I would have been off put if he took me up on my offer to pay for myself. Given the chance I would usually at least add some cash tip (if he didn’t insist that I didn’t). And it’s not like I am a gold digger or something - I make a good living, it’s just part of th dance. Hell, in my marriage I earn much more than my husband, but he takes the check and pays when we are out (out of joint account) - it’s just part of the esthetics, he’s being the “man” and paying, I am his preened and attentive date. As for the rest, women pay more for their clothes, grooming supplies, feminine products, and beauty services - and if I didn’t give a damn about how I looked to men, a lot of those costs could be cut. While it may be an interesting question to ponder, I am pretty sure focusing on it would be detrimental to successfully dating. Women can smell bitterness from a mile away. 1
Author Shining One Posted June 14, 2019 Author Posted June 14, 2019 Curious OP, how much do you usually spend on a date? How many end up first date and no subsequent dates?It varies a lot. Coffee dates are usually less than $15 and drinks dates are usually $50+. Dinner and movie dates with my ex were around $200. I don't have many first-only dates, but I do have many dates that don't make it to relationships.While it may be an interesting question to ponder, I am pretty sure focusing on it would be detrimental to successfully dating. Women can smell bitterness from a mile away.As I mentioned earlier, I'm specifically pondering this because I've seen many posts from women on this forum saying that they spend a lot of money getting ready for every single date. I'm not well educated on those numbers, so I made this thread in order to be educated.
Interstellar Posted June 14, 2019 Posted June 14, 2019 Yikes, those expenses really add up and thankfully I don’t have to worry about that!
guest569 Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 I think if I were on those dates with you it would feel very wrong not to split the bill or if he insisted on paying I would get the next one. $200 for dinner and movie sounds pricey. I'm not going to be all entitled cause I spent money on getting my hair done for the date. But a question.. if I didn't put time and money into my appearance, would I get a second date with you? 1
alphamale Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 Dinner and movie dates with my ex were around $200... $200, wtf? Applebees + Netflix = $40 1
basil67 Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 (edited) No surprise when you read the 'short hair' thread and read all about men who expect us in heels, long hair and looking feminine. Do they really expect us to have painful feet and knots in our hair for the rest of our lives? Men gave up wearing high heels about ~300 years ago, surely that was a sensible move. Edited June 15, 2019 by basil67 3
guest569 Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 Nah, opposite. I def don't do it for myself lol Yeah men demand this crap. Wasn't there a heel revival in the 70s? 1
Els Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 This is interesting. I've never heard of a woman taking time off to get ready for a date. I haven't managed that many women though and I wouldn't be privy to reasons given to other managers. I can see that costing a lot if they're paid hourly. It's not just taking time off. Many of us can have additional streams of income if we so choose. We're just choosing to spend that time on dates (or getting ready for dates) instead. Time definitely is money. You currently live with your gf (or stay over fairly often), right? If you go out to a special event with her, you could observe how early she starts getting ready vs you. H definitely takes less than half the time I do to get ready for a special occasion, even if he irons his clothes that very night! On our wedding day it was even worse, it took me 4 hours vs 30 minutes for him, lol. In our case it isn't something that bothers me, since it's completely voluntary on my behalf, and he wouldn't mind if I didn't. And it's on rare occasion. But for women who are single or have a fussy partner, I can definitely understand why this is an issue for them. I do agree with smiley and basil that there is still a double standard in our society about how much time, effort, discomfort and money women are expected to invest into their appearance, compared to men. Personally, if a man expected me to go dutch AND be dressed to the nines while he shows up in trainers and jeans, I know a special place where he can go. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 Yeah men demand this crap. No one says you have to participate in it, though.. No different if you're a cheap ass guy that wont spend money on dates....Just don't do it or find someone that doesn't care... TFY 3
salparadise Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 I've seen plenty of women on here say they spend significant amounts of money getting ready for each date, so I wanted to see what that looked like. I dismiss such claims out of hand because a) they'd be spending xx on stuff [hair, nails, makeup, clothes] regardless, and b) they're just grasping at straws in an effort to justify not contributing to the actual expense of a date. And no, you don't get to count time in the bathroom as an expense. But, if these arguments are still being floated then it's good that you created this thread and put it to rest once and for all. When you apply the rules (which are reasonable and valid) they'll be hard pressed to name any expense other than prorating makeup used, and perhaps wear and tear on the soles of their shoes. The really interesting part is to see who takes the bait and who doesn't. 2
some_username1 Posted June 15, 2019 Posted June 15, 2019 maybe in 1947?? today people are so casual they would probably wear their pyjamas to a date Yep! I'm laughing my ass off at all these claims of hours in front of the mirror and $300+ expenses and wondering where I'm going wrong. I'd be surprised if the vast majority of my dates spent any more than £5 and 10 minutes on their beauty regimen 1
Author Shining One Posted June 15, 2019 Author Posted June 15, 2019 But a question.. if I didn't put time and money into my appearance, would I get a second date with you?Absolutely no time and money (as in you looked like a disheveled homeless person), probably not. If you did the basics (shower, shave, dental hygiene, etc.), then yes. My first date with my ex. was the very night she had moved down to south Florida. She hadn't had her hair done in two months and she did her nails herself (at the time). Her wardrobe was limited to what she had in her suitcase since her movers hadn't arrived yet. She got a second date and many more.
Author Shining One Posted June 15, 2019 Author Posted June 15, 2019 $200, wtf? Applebees + Netflix = $40Nice Dinner + Drinks and iPic Theater + Drinks. She liked expensive apple martinis. I'm not complaining about those costs because I enjoyed treating her to nice nights out. I could easily have dropped that to around $50 if I wanted to. That's what she paid when she treated us to a dinner and movie night.
Recommended Posts