Alexandria Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 My boyfriend and I studied in the same University for one year, were good friend and now we love each other very much. But the problem is, after one year of studying, I left him (almost for good) to settle in my homeland, and he's left alone. I didn't believe it's gonna work when I left him, but I'm still so much into him. We're living in different time zone, his morning is my night. I'm trying to talk to him as much as possible but it's not even easy to keep on meeting him online and asking him to email me once a day doesn't seem working well. I'm scared of the thrill will be gone. And I'm getting possessive and obssessive of his everything... Simply, my question is, what should I do....
d'Arthez Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 Assuming that the relationship was well-established before the two of you became long distance. It depends on many factors whether or not this will become a success. Such as his / your willingness to move, the level of commitment from the two of you, legal issues with access to the country you live in (for him) and vice versa for you, the time-line that the both of you would establish to make this relationship a non-long distance one, your ability to visit each other from time to time, and of course dealing with the lack of being around each other, and (occasionally) wondering what the other is doing. And of course you should be on a point in life where you are able to transition. If you still have to do 10 years of training for the job you are going to do (as happens with some medical educations), you are almost literally tied to the country where you are now. That severely limits any options you may have. Time-differences are hard to live with. If the both of you sleep about 8 hours a day, and are 6+ hours apart, that leaves but a few hours to IM / phone, but a more time to email. And then of course your regular life kicks in. You have to attend classes / work, and for him the same holds true. Both of you should make a well thought out appraisal of the situation, and form a clear idea on what you would strive for. LDRs are extremely taxing, as you cannot spend much time in real life together. Good agreements on the do's and don'ts in such a relationship are necessary. And perhaps you will discover, that a LDR is not viable for you and him .
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 Well, if it were me, I'd break it off. I figure, "if you love something, let it go." If you are reunited one day, then things were meant to be. If not, I'm sure there's plenty of guys in the country you are now (and believe me, I know you don't want to hear the old "so many fish in the sea" crap). I was in the shoes you are now, when my boyfriend (ex now) moved from one side of the US to the other. We broke up. My current boyfriend was in a similar long distance relationship, and they made it work for almost a year before it failed. I have a student who claims her mom is dating someone who lives in Scotland with plans of marriage in 5 years (now whether that's true or not, I don't know... students can tell whoppers sometimes!) Good luck with whatever you choose.
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