Claracluck25 Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 The message went along the lines of... "I've decided that there won't be any romance between us as it wouldnt be fair on either of us but definitely continue to be friends. We'd be great friends". Statement ...Feelings there? Fear? Fear of it potentially going wrong so stops it before it starts? Any insights welcome.
frus69 Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 No Feelings. and he wont be your friends. let you down nicely that's all.
DrNo1962 Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 That's a long time to chat for no date. The writing should have been on the wall for you there and then.
Inspire Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Sometimes there just isn't romantic chemistry. The thing I have learned is that you could feel totally one way talking by text, but once you get face to face something changes. That's exactly why its best not to wait so long before going out on a first date. Get to know each other a little by text/phone, set a date and meet. If you do plan to meet again and he makes a move, chances are he was just looking for a FWB. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Statement ...Feelings there? Fear? Fear of it potentially going wrong so stops it before it starts? Sadly, none of that . No chemistry/attraction is what I'm thinking .
Redhead14 Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Clara, it's not a good idea to spend so much time chatting on line. It's best to meet fairly soon, after a little bit of chatting. What happens if you go a long time without meeting is a) most people build up the other person in their heads and have a vision/dream going already and when they finally do meet, that person can't possibly live up to that vision and so it's doomed to failure anyway or b) it's just that in person the other person doesn't click for you/them. If you meet sooner and it doesn't work, you haven't wasted so much time and the disappointment is limited. It happens all the time. There's no substitute for the real thing. "Chemistry" can't be felt, measured through a keyboard. The first meeting from OLD isn't a date either. It's a short meet up to confirm that they are who they say they are, look like their picture and to see if there is "enough" there to want a real, longer date. You cannot expect that a relationship is going to develop through on line chatting and that it's a done deal after a month of chatting.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 (edited) Clara, Did you feeling extremely excited about meeting this person--like through the meeting and after the meeting. My best guess: you mildly liked them ... but I doubt you feel really excited or that you felt they were REALLY into you and excited about meeting you. That's what you want. A great date is when you feel truly excited and energized and surprised (in a good way) talking to someone and you can feel they are energized and excited and feel so lucky to be meeting you. And the energy goes back and forth ... Those are some of the qualities of romantic chemistry. Your date didn't experience this ... I doubt you did either. Hence the note. Edited June 12, 2019 by Lotsgoingon 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 The message went along the lines of... "I've decided that there won't be any romance between us as it wouldnt be fair on either of us but definitely continue to be friends. We'd be great friends". Statement ...Feelings there? Fear? Fear of it potentially going wrong so stops it before it starts? No, I'm not sure where you are getting that from. Unfortunately, he's just not that into you. No fear or feelings. Just a simple lack of romantic chemistry for him. Don't try to be friends; my guess is that he isn't really interested in friendship but he's trying to be gentle in letting you down.
PegNosePete Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Any insights welcome. My insight is that you're reading way too much into it. You think that he means the exact opposite of what he says because of some deep seated fear or psychological issue? No, sometimes a spade really is just a spade.
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