Mixed signals [UPDATED]

[d0nnivain]

The tickets were a gift & you were quite magnanimous in continuing to give them to him. He wanted them for the same reason you bought them: he likes the performer. You don't know that he brought a date. He could have taken a buddy. If thinking that he took a buddy helps get you through the night, just believe that & carry on with your healing.

[Orokotikki]

"What I don’t understand is why would he want them?"

Because he wants to go. Probably with a new girl or a buddy.

"I could never bring another guy to something that my ex paid for. Is he really that cold?"

Yes, he doesn't care - also he offered to buy them. You're broken up, time for him and you to move on.

 

Also you are not in any kind of NC since you are talking with each other and stuff.

[mejustme]

"What I don’t understand is why would he want them?"

Because he wants to go. Probably with a new girl or a buddy.

"I could never bring another guy to something that my ex paid for. Is he really that cold?"

Yes, he doesn't care - also he offered to buy them. You're broken up, time for him and you to move on.

 

Also you are not in any kind of NC since you are talking with each other and stuff.

“we were in NC for 15 days” I can’t help it if he was in the ticket exchange site. At any rate, I did the right thing and handed them over.

Thanks for your response

[Orokotikki]

I see, I didn't know he contacted you through the ticket exchange site, I assumed he just texted you, but I see you did specify that above.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I guess this tells you all you need to know about how he feels about your break-up.

 

Break-ups are never easy especially when the ex moves on before you do.

 

You did the classy thing and should feel good about that.

[mejustme]

I guess I am not supposed to start a new thread here, so I have to reply to this one.

 

He broke the no contact when I dumped all of my social media accounts. He thought I blocked him, at any rate without thought and because I was super excited to receive a text from him not thinking I responded. We carried on the conversation, talked for a while and decided to meet up. I know such a bad move on my part, but I really love and miss this guy so much. One thing led to another he stayed the night. We have been talking now for a few days. I know again, stupid on my part! Thanked him and told him it was nice seeing him again, and he said the same and that he hopes to see me again soon. Text me good night, text me good morning, carried on throughout the day with texting and here it is Friday night and I’m sitting here alone, sad and disappointed that he never asked to see me. I feel used! Worst feeling in the world. Why bother talking to me. Gosh I am so effing mad at myself and at him!

[nolanola]

It will stop when you get to your low point and cut this guy off. I know what it's like to be in your situation. I have been on a merry go round with a few exes and I know what you are feeling. Everyone that has ever broken NC knows how bad it feels. Unfortunately the only thing you can do right now is start over. It's never too late to get some backbone.

 

I'm going to be real with you: you say you love this guy and I don't doubt that you do. I'm sure you want him to love and respect you, right? You want to be the woman he chooses to be with, right? Look at where you are now: you have been downgraded from his girlfriend to his one night stand. Is this who you want to be?

 

I firmly believe that we teach others how to treat us by the behavior that we accept. You are teaching this guy that he can have you with zero effort on his part, without even the promise of a relationship. You have to teach him otherwise. Cut him off. Seriously. Delete his number from your phone or at the least replace his name with "Do Not Answer" to remind you that he sucks. Hopefully at some point you can block him, because he will probably come sniffing around again for a booty call. Take a screen shot of what you posted and read it every day to remind yourself of how bad you feel right now the next time you're tempted to talk to him or to reply to him.

[mejustme]

So here I lay after only 3 hours of sleep and I replay everything in my head. The 3:00 am and 6:20am texts to his phone on Saturday, our pictures being taken down, his nervous demeanor, dropping the kids off early....I know what’s going on and yet I lay here in tears, crushed and heart broken; ashamed because I fell for the BS and lies again. Like I fool I text him and told him that I love him, but I was walking away. And his response was I love you too. Why even say it? Can you really love someone and never try to fix it? Why even bother at this point? Why waste your breath and even say it back? Thank you for more scars, more sleepless nights, for the never ending stress headache and for the self doubt!

[MINAKO]

It is really so hard. I know. I just had the worst sleep too, because I had a dream about the guy in my life. Of course it had to be an extremely vivid and detailed dream. I woke up wanting to cry, with countless memories attacking my brain, honestly. I suddenly doubted all of my decisions and was super close to messaging him. I did not, but I have definitely given in many times before in the past.

 

It will be alright. Keep in mind, people swear vows to each other in marriage but so many break up anyway. I have been told very lovely and beautiful things before, even if the meaning was empty. All I can say is, I do not believe these kinds of people are truly compassionate. I doubt this person you mentioned is also on 3 hours of sleep due to heartbreak. And I doubt my guy even thinks about any of this. It is what it is. Just remember that you are not alone in this. There will come a time where you will never lose sleep over him again. There will come a time where I will never dream of him of my guy like this again. It is incredibly difficult, I know, but slowly, it will all be fine. Take it day by day, and do your best to believe in yourself and not let the doubts rule over you. It is very tough, but I am confident it is in you.

[mejustme]

He broke up with me because I locked my keys in the car. Yes, I was 1 mile from his house when I left the beach, but didn’t want to ruin his day. I get it now, I should’ve reached out, but I didn’t and can’t change that! My ex used to yell at me if I didn’t try to fix something myself or tell me to call family. When I did call family they’d ask where the ex was. It was always a huge debacle. At any rate, locked my keys in the car! Thank goodness for roadside, they were out in 15 min. Told the bf I was running a little behind bc of a snafu and he wanted me to send my location and to take a picture. I was like ohh-emmm-gee!! I was driving at this point and thought about sending him that and then felt so violated. Pulled over tried getting my Latino thing to share with him but couldn’t Due to weak signal. I sent him the text from roadside. You can’t

Ale that up! Anyhow, huge blow out. And then the whole I can’t teuat you BS. I’ve never cheated, could never cheat...I know how it seems, but I’ve had so much stress lately, and so has he, I just didn’t want to burden him with something I could and did handle on my own. He won’t speak to me. He blocked me everywhere, but unblocked me from the phone but won’t answer me back.

 

Hell for all I know he has me blocked on the cell too, and somehow has the delivered thing still pop up on my end. Such a ****ty way to end things over a miscommunication. I swore on my mother that I was telling the truth. Told him we could even go and ask the little lady that came out and asked if I wanted water, even told him I’d take a lie detector test for crying out loud! I have never cheated nor will I ever. I’m so broken up over this. Just wish I could get him to believe me. My heart has been. completely ripped out of my chest. I’m

Edited July 24, 2019 by mejustme
Would like to clarify when speaking of the “ex” I am referring to the ex, ex. Not the current ex

[emeraldgreen]

You're coming across as very erratic. There's obviously some history there that would make cheating such a fast assumption. He sounds like someone that flies off the handle easily and you shouldn't necessarily cater to that. If your story reads correctly, he's like a controlling nutter.

 

In terms of getting stuck with your car, transparency is just the thing to do. Don't assume what information someone needs or doesn't need. Just tell someone what's going on if they're waiting for you.

[basil67]

It was way more than a huge mix up. This guy just showed you his true self and that true self is a controlling guy with out of control reaactions. This should be a dealbreaker for you. No ifs, no buts....GONE from your life.

 

hmmm...I just noticed your edit. He's an ex, ex. Given that he's from the past, why is your heart ripped out of your chest? Why not just think FU and block him from your end as well?

[preraph]

OMG, why on EARTH would you want that guy back? You are not having a good history of picking good guys. This guy is way over the top suspicious, which is either controlling or insecure or both. Send him a picture? I'd have bent over and sent him a picture of my butt.

[mark clemson]

Yeah. Sounds like HIS issues, not yours...

[schlumpy]

Isn't there a time stamped receipt available from road service? That should have been enough to satisfy him.

 

Doesn't take much to set him off, huh? Any back story as to why his infidelity radar is up over such a minor incident?

 

Best Wishes

[mejustme]

It was way more than a huge mix up. This guy just showed you his true self and that true self is a controlling guy with out of control reaactions. This should be a dealbreaker for you. No ifs, no buts....GONE from your life.

 

hmmm...I just noticed your edit. He's an ex, ex. Given that he's from the past, why is your heart ripped out of your chest? Why not just think FU and block him from your end as well?

 

No, the one that had the meltdown is the current ex. The other ex ex was the one that never wanted to help me. Like the day my heat got stuck on and it was 87 degrees in my house. And he told me to call my brother in law. Btw he was a contractor.

[ExpatInItaly]

I would not date a man who loses his mind over something like this.

 

When you're resorting to bringing in witnesses and taking a lie detector test over something this minor - your relationship was already over.

 

Sorry.

[d0nnivain]

Your BF sounds nuts. Let him be the EX.

 

You locked your keys in the car. You called roadside to come get you. Then you called him to say you are running late. Instead of being happy you were OK, your BF demanded photographic proof of the problem.

 

Honey, his request for proof that you were actually having a problem is not a mix up. It's him being psycho & controlling. He doesn't trust you & he's paranoid. This wasn't a mix up & you were not obligated to call him rather than the professionals whose services you pay for.

[hippychick3]

Anyone that demands photographic proof of what you’re doing and where you are doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with you. And anyone who flies off the handle that easily needs to be the one who is blocked. Figure out why you’d tolerate this behavior and find better men.

[mejustme]

I need it, idk if it’s closure I need or another chance to fight for this. I love this man with every ounce of love. We couldn’t figure out a place to meet, so I suggested to meet at his place to save the aggravation of trying to figure out a place, and he agrees, but then says, “ ok, but we will go out to eat or something” he doesn’t eat breakfast and we are meeting at 10:00am. I get the neutral setting, but it wasn’t like I went crazy the last time. We talked our voices got a little loud but that was it. Do you think he is just going to tell me to Ef off? Or this will be the final blow, the end all? I’m so scared now. Why even agree to meet? Why not just keep it at NC? Ugh I want to cancel. I’m in anxiety mode at the moment. Please give me your input. I really need it at the moment so that I can better prepare myself.

[spiderowl]

If he broke up with you, I doubt that meeting him will give you closure. He might be honest about why he broke up; he might not. Regardless, his feelings changed and sometimes there is no accounting for that. Would reasons help you?

 

I think this is just going to stir up feelings. Either that or you want to get him to try again (big mistake if he broke it off).

 

You are feeling anxious for a reason. This sounds like a really difficult potentially damaging meeting. I would not go.

[Highndry]

Who broke up with who, what was the reason for the break-up, and who set up the meeting and why?

[preraph]

Yeah, he's not trying to get back together. He is just trying to make you understand it's over and he doesn't want to get trapped in his house with you and not be able to get up and leave if necessary.

 

Honestly, you should just let him off the hook and move on. It sounds like he gave you every polite excuse not to meet and then didn't know what to say when you cornered him by saying you'd come over.

 

Please trust some of us on here and realize you are just about to get hurt and humiliated. And what's worse than the hurt you already have is when you are angry at yourself for groveling and just humiliating yourself and then you have to live with yourself after that.

[stillafool]

He is thinking that by agreeing to meet with you this will finally give you closure. He's trying to be nice about it but the song remains the same.

[mejustme]

So pretty much I am walking into the lions den? I don’t think I can handle it. Omg!!