MABD Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Backstory 35 (F) divorced, single parent. Ive been divorced for almost 2 years now. Haven’t had much luck dating recently since ex bf moved back south. Kept finding amazing men that just didn’t want anything more than casual. I’ve been seeing a new guy 39 (M) also divorced and single parent for almost 2 weeks now. He’s nice, very sweet, attractive and sweeter than any man I’ve ever dated in the past. We had our first and second date back to back and a third a few days after. Had a great time! Next day he told me how he “wanted to take care of me in every way he could. That I deserved to be with a good man and be treated how I should be”. Very flattering just something I’m not useto. He’s brought up exclusivity saying he doesn’t want to be with anyone but me and has every intention of seeing where this goes long term”. Yesterday he asked me to attend his cousins wedding which is next week and for an entire weekend. His whole family will be there. I’m not afraid of the intimacy factor as he’s always respected boundaries . But the thought of meeting his entire family makes me very nervous and cautious. Is this typical? Is this a good sign that he really likes me ? Or is he just smooth and telling me what I wanna hear?! I wanna trust and believe him but don’t wanna get burned again once i start to let someone in. Thoughts?
smackie9 Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 2 weeks is really pushing it to meet family and friends....especially when you are not in an established relationship. If you feel unsure about this, just tell him thanks, but maybe some other time. Then just play things by ear.
alphamale Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 this guy is a weirdo. saying all that stuff after spending 10 hours together is sort of crazy. he'll be gone as fast as he came
Foxhall Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 He appears to be overdoing it somewhat, hes definitely telling you what you want to hear and is making an impression, Id say its more of an ego thing and he wants to look good at the wedding, show off his new lady and so on, perhaps decline the wedding invitation, it will test his genuineness or otherwise, could still be an ok chap but put him to the test probably no harm.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Two weeks is definitely too soon to invite someone. You want to know the person far better than you two know each other. Too intensive and claustrophobic and too stressful for you, the visitor. But ... every relationship is different. If you feel comfy, then perhaps go ... The problem is ... at one of these gatherings, you really don't want to be learning fundamental stuff about the other person ... which will happen because you guys are so new to each other. You want to go to a weekend like this ... knowing a lot more quirks about your partner, so you two can treat each other well ... and know how to comfort each other ... But hey ... up to you. No, don't any one invite as a sign that he's totally into you. Yes, this is a good sign ... but go and see how things are ... You'll see him interact with a lot of people ... you'll learn a lot about him ... some of which you might not be ready for.
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 (edited) Normally I would agree that he's overdoing it and telling you things you want to hear, however, he's inviting you to a family wedding. Men who are playing you wouldn't do that. If I'm wrong about that, let the men chime in. If anything, he seems super eager (almost too eager) to lock it down with you. Is that a good thing? Not sure. Seems a bit much at only 2 weeks in but then again, you're not teenagers and he's nearly in his 40's. Some people want a relationship so bad that they'll rush things and skip a bunch of (important) steps to get it. It's been my personal experience that when they come in all hot and heavy so quickly, it often fades out just as quickly. This is your call but if you're feeling a bit uncomfortable about meeting his family so soon, don't go. Tell him that you're flattered but think it's a bit early yet. His response will speak volumes and you can decide how to proceed from there. Good luck. Edited June 11, 2019 by Michelle ma Belle
emeraldgreen Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Love bombing. Tell him you're having lots of fun but it's a bit soon to be meeting family. If he sulks, has a tantrum or ghosts you, it will confirm that he's as clingy as he seems. He's saying all the right things, but 6 months too early.
The Outlaw Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 It may not be a bad thing, but moving too fast can always lead to trouble. He needs to take it slower.
frus69 Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 YOU can slow it down. Doesnt have to wait for him to do it. Dont have to always follow his lead and do it his style. You can go to the wedding. It's just a wedding it doesnt mean you will have to give your heart to him right after. He may really be a good man you should give him the benefit of the doubt. But after the wedding you can slow down your phase and keep observing/assessing this relationship.
DrNo1962 Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Love bombing. Tell him you're having lots of fun but it's a bit soon to be meeting family. If he sulks, has a tantrum or ghosts you, it will confirm that he's as clingy as he seems. He's saying all the right things, but 6 months too early. This. It also confirms he lacks boundaries if he is willing to introduce you to his parents after two weeks. They are the most important people in his life, what does this say about his respect for them and the relationship you two have? Personally, I wouldn't want to meet the parents of my S.O for at least 6 months to a year of dating exclusively.
chillii Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 l dunno , weird or not , seems over doing it weird to me so soon buttt. But me l wouldn't be setting myself up with her family for a whole wkend so soon, no way.l wouldn't even wanna meet them yet let alone like that. You could just talk to him tell him it's too soon for that but keep seeing him , see how things shape up. Good luck anyway.
Flame Aura Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Definitely too soon. Meeting the family is something you do when you are at least official bf/gf so it's serious, not just dating for 2 weeks. Personally I would politely decline, and say that you feel it's a bit too soon and would prefer to get to know each other better first before meeting family.
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 (edited) 1)I dont think its a good idea to choose to be exclusive to a guy that hasnt shown you he would even make a good boyfriend first. I personally think you should go on consistent dates for about 1-3 months then come to the decision to be exclusive when you dont see any deal breaking red flags. imo that is what dating is for which is to get to know a guy to see if you even want to/should enter into a relationship with him. just focus on getting to know who this guy is Op. 2)when a guy sweet talks you dont "believe" any of it until he put time and effort in just smile, say thank you, be flattered, and dont rain on his parade but just dont take it seriously internally. observe his actions. you have to qualify him even if he has became your boyfriend to see if he should remain your boyfriend or if you believe in marriage and want to get married then qualify him after exclusivity to see if he would make a good husband one day believe what a man says once you are his exclusive girlfriend AND if he treats you right consistently over time. 3 months is he still with you and only you and good to you? then that means its good so far. six months? START to believe him. a year? believe him. year in a half? keep on believing lol......keep believing after that until he gives you a reason to stop believing (cheating, break up, becomes mean, abusive, negligent, or distant). Edited June 12, 2019 by Curiousroxy86
Art_Critic Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Love bombing. Yeah.. he is love bombing.. looking to keep the panties off or keep getting his noodle wet...telling the OP what HE thinks She wants to hear... Don't get sucked into this.. he is playing a game of manipulation Next.....
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