Author DrNo1962 Posted June 11, 2019 Author Posted June 11, 2019 Thank you all for the fascinating and insightful responses. Don't come onto this forum much but when I do it's always a great learning experience
smackie9 Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 IMO it doesn't always mean they are serial liars. If they lied about most things on their profile, and about themselves in general ya you got something to worry about.
d0nnivain Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Any chance that she's had the profile for 5 years & just never bothered to change the age data? If you otherwise like her, talk to her about it & see if you can work past it. Her lie is an issue but it may not be a deal breaking issue.
kendahke Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Thank you all for the fascinating and insightful responses. Don't come onto this forum much but when I do it's always a great learning experience when you discovered the lie, was it before you had sex with her or after? 1
Shining One Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Any chance that she's had the profile for 5 years & just never bothered to change the age data?In most of the OLD sites I used, you didn't specify your age. You put in your birth date and the site calculated your age and thus kept it up to date.
littleblackheart Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 when you discovered the lie, was it before you had sex with her or after? Good question. I haven't broached the subject with her Why not? The lying on her part is bad - I would have confronted her as soon as I knew, personally.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 In most of the OLD sites I used, you didn't specify your age. You put in your birth date and the site calculated your age and thus kept it up to date. Yes. And in any case, you can change your profile data easily. Many people who lie about their age on dating sites try to excuse it with lame explanations about how it's an old profile or they made a "mistake" setting it up. Pathetic BS lies and excuses. It's completely insulting to waste people's time by presenting false information like that. 2
Art_Critic Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 It's completely insulting to waste people's time by presenting false information like that. I think this sums it up no matter what side of the lying you fall on. A million years ago when I was doing OLD my profile stated my age and my requirements, one of which was future kids.. a woman hit me up that matched my requirements and we talked for a couple of weeks and then she lays on me her real age..she lied by 10 years pushing herself into the question of child bearing years or past it. I blocked her right away and felt like she wasted my time.. never even got to address the lying since the wasting of my time was a deal breaker. 2
mortensorchid Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Lying about your age is not okay. It's not okay because that means this person will lie about anything. Run. Run far. No contact. You're done. 2
littleblackheart Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 I blocked her right away and felt like she wasted my time.. never even got to address the lying since the wasting of my time was a deal breaker. That makes sense in your case because you hadn't met. OP and the woman met and had sex. I can't see how not addressing the issue head on can be avoided in the circumstances, tbh. My own values would not allow me to ghost on someone (or whatever passive aggressive move people do to avoid actually dealing with a problem) that I have met in person and slept with, without giving them a reason. The lying is bad, but not talking about it is immature in this instance (imo) 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 That makes sense in your case because you hadn't met. OP and the woman met and had sex. I can't see how not addressing the issue head on can be avoided in the circumstances, tbh. My own values would not allow me to ghost on someone (or whatever passive aggressive move people do to avoid actually dealing with a problem) that I have met in person and slept with, without giving them a reason. The lying is bad, but not talking about it is immature in this instance (imo) I agree with this post. You slept together and even though she has, to an extent, misrepresented herself, you should confront her on it even if it's to let her know you're no longer interested. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 At this stage we are just seeing how it goes, but she has been overly complimentary since our first date and we slept together on the second date despite this going against her "rules" so it's hard to say... She sees something in you (meal ticket, perhaps), and has lied and laid it on thick to rope you in. "Against her rules" - yeah, right. This is her standard operating procedure. She doesn't deserve anything more than a phone call saying you can't trust a liar and it's over. If you stick with her, don't be surprised when she lies about other major things to get what she wants. 1
Orokotikki Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 I am pleasantly surprised and impressed by the replies OP has received here. It's given me more hope in humankind and some food for thought. 1
Author DrNo1962 Posted June 13, 2019 Author Posted June 13, 2019 when you discovered the lie, was it before you had sex with her or after? Good question. It was after sex.
malaiyas Posted June 13, 2019 Posted June 13, 2019 (edited) Can I ask which dating site/app this is? I’ve noticed so much age discrepancy on Tinder, for some reason, even name discrepancies and it doesn’t allow you to change it if your profile is linked to Facebook. In saying this, though, these people often have a line right in their bios stating, “23, not 29,” or just fill in those appropriate ages, whatever they may be. I did match with a guy who told me upfront that he was actually 22 when his profile stated he was 30. In his case this was deliberate because he wanted to meet women in their late twenties/early thirties as girls in his age bracket weren’t looking for anything serious. I’d be concerned that you heard it from someone else for sure. I do think a conversation is warranted here, then you decide what to do with that information. Edited June 13, 2019 by malaiyas
spiderowl Posted June 13, 2019 Posted June 13, 2019 I really dislike it when a guy lies about his age. If he 'confesses' to me that his age is actually different from what is on the profile and tries to brush it off, I just can't see him in the same way any more. From that point onwards, in my mind, he is sneaky and untrustworthy. Integrity is so important.
Author DrNo1962 Posted June 14, 2019 Author Posted June 14, 2019 Can I ask which dating site/app this is? I’ve noticed so much age discrepancy on Tinder, for some reason, even name discrepancies and it doesn’t allow you to change it if your profile is linked to Facebook. In saying this, though, these people often have a line right in their bios stating, “23, not 29,” or just fill in those appropriate ages, whatever they may be. I did match with a guy who told me upfront that he was actually 22 when his profile stated he was 30. In his case this was deliberate because he wanted to meet women in their late twenties/early thirties as girls in his age bracket weren’t looking for anything serious. I’d be concerned that you heard it from someone else for sure. I do think a conversation is warranted here, then you decide what to do with that information. It was on Hinge. From what I understand, it doesn't pull your information from Facebook. You actually have to set your age using one of those Callander scroll/wheels.
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