cassiefromvegas Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 This gentleman has a few interesting female friend cases that I find somewhat odd and he changed his story regarding one of them. One of them was a married female that he met at a local gym and he stated she "pursued a friendship with me". The husband and her do not have much in common, so this gentleman and her will often do activities on the weekends. She tends to post more outings with this guy than her husband. I tried to look at things from the perspective, of if a married man approached me and pursued a friendship with me, it would seem a bit odd. Two months before we started talking (we were friends on social media), he visited a girl out of town and made some posts. I had seen the posts and assumed he was dating someone new because of the photos and the comments from friends (hearts, etc.). When we started talking, he said this friend moved to Utah recently and plans to visit there often. However, during a previous discussion he mentioned this girl was just a friend who was dating someone, so it wasn't a big deal that he visited her. Later on, he changed his story and said, "Well she and I were both single at the time and I probably wouldn't have visited her if either one of us was dating someone. I'm very blunt, so I called him out on the change of story. He got angry and said my argument wasn't valid either way because we aren't officially dating. I told a friend about this and she said that it would be a valid concern because 1. His story changed and 2. Many women probably wouldn't feel comfortable with their significant other (if it got to that point) spending the weekend at this woman's house. He also hasn't had a serious relationship in 8 years, saying he simply "just hasn't wanted one", but says he has now been open to having one more recently.
BaileyB Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 I do believe that men and women can be friends. But, those boundaries are a little too blurred for me... But, if I’m dating a man - I want him to be available to have adventures with me, not another woman. I would especially question his judgment if he is spending time with a married woman on the weekends... that shows me that he has no respect for her husband or the fact that she is married (poor boundaries). And, I wouldn’t appreciate his response when you tried to ask him about the inconsistencies in his story... We have a guy with poor boundaries, who appears to stretch the truth at his convenience, and gets defensive/turns things around on you when there is conflict. Three strikes. Proceed with caution if you decide to keep dating this guy... 2
Flame Aura Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Definite red flags. This guy has made it clear as day he is still in that 'having fun' stage and is not ready to commit to a long term relationship. Proceed with caution. 1
BloodRedRose Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 I don't mind a guy having female friends if they are old friends, collegues, someone to do a certain activity with etc. Friendships that occur naturally and doesn't involve dating-like activities. Would definitely not accept if he travelled to visit them often, cause that implies romantic interest to me. That's too much effort for a relatively new friend. The gym friend is also shady, especially the "pursuing" part. That's also something people do when they're interested in something more. Your guy is definitely shady.
smackie9 Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 He also hasn't had a serious relationship in 8 years, saying he simply "just hasn't wanted one", but says he has now been open to having one more recently. This right here would have me running for the hills! I bet he says this to all the girls he has dated. 1
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