2much4 Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 There is a difference between flirting and outright giving someone the wrong signals… her letting him lead her around by the hand... well that sounds beyond flirting... IMHO. If she respected your relationship she would be pushing guys away when they got to the point of grabbing her and man handling her... right???? I mean are you ok with that? Is that ok compared to kissing? I agree with this poster....There's a difference between flirting/dancing with other men, and leading someone on to the point they ask you to go back home with them. You have a really good friend who cares about you. Don't feel embarassed. He is telling you because he knows she crossed that line. If her behaviour genuinely doesn't bother you though, I guess you will have to live with some people judging you and making comments about your relationship....you'll just have to get over it.
guest569 Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Personally, I would not be OK with this. But you've said that you are fine with her dancing and flirting with guys. It sounds like she has done what she normally would. Behaviour that you're fine with. So what's the big problem this time? Just because your friend has pointed it out. Look, most people would not tolerate this from their partner but that's their business. 1
Flame Aura Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Your girlfriend is not South American is she? Sounds like one of my exes... You are not 'allowing' her to do anything, she will be doing it regardless, you are just looking to avoid confrontation. You are allowing her to walk all over you and treat you like a mug. Flirting with other men while in a relationship is not ok, how you think it is I have no idea. Holding hands is something you do with someone you care about, if my girlfriend did that with another man we would be finished. This girl is an attention seeker and if she is not already cheating on you she will, and you will end up getting hurt. Stay away from her.
morrowrd Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Personally, I would consider that kind of behavior cheating. Going to clubs, flirting with other men, holding hands or showing any type of affection - those are things that should be reserved for the man in her life. I'm very understanding about a "girls night out" - but she's out there acting like she's single. Very disrespectful to you, in my opinion. 1
onceupona Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 How old is she if I may ask? I do not know her, but I have experienced this two times before. First time was with my "first love". We were young when we met, she was 16 and I was 17. There were unicorns and rainbows everywhere, until she went off to uni. I matured early and did never get any temptation to cheat and I never really enjoyed "partying". At first, she started partying, and she told me herself that she danced "inappropriately" with a guy. (dirty dancing) I was not happy about it, but appreciated her telling me, and got over it with time. She did not stop there, and it ended up in her cheating on me. I will tell you, if a girl is not done "having fun", and "experiencing" things, very often this happens. Ofcourse not all girls, but this is not uncommon. My second time, the girl was much older. She was 26, but she was quite conservative with herself when she was younger, and so she did not "get it out of her system". She was a virgin, and even I was not allowed to go that way, which I respected. Imagine a virgin girl, that had no past boyfriends, who then found a friend circle of "wild" crowd. Most were younger than her, around 22-23. The relationship went south within months as I knew instantly that she did not want to be tied down, and wanted to have fun without thinking of me. Needless to say, we broke up. She was decent enough not to do anything while we were together (to my knowledge), but she realized that she wasn't done enjoying her youth. I am not bitter about it anymore, but I know for a fact that if my current GF (who IS mature and past all this stuff) felt at all that I doubted something, or was uncomfortable about a situation, she will do everything in her power to put me at ease. This is what a girl does whens he is truly in love with you; I would do the same for her. Wouldn't you? Be careful not to trust your gut my friend.
lurker74 Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 Well, first off, the screenname "toyboy" makes sense. You appear to have a bit of a modified cuckold fantasy/ideation. The issue is that it stops before the requisite humiliation side of things, which is confusing many of the posters here. If you had just said, "My GF goes out dancing with strange men, flirts with them, comes home and tells me about it and it makes me horny" then everyone here would have understood and probably said, "Meh." But what you actually like is the idea that other men can look and feel like they can get close but your GF always comes back to you. You like that other people want her but you "know" that she is yours. And so when your friend told you about it, it felt humiliating. Personally, I don't care if a GF has a bit of mild flirting when she's out with friends. Dancing with a guy? I mind a lot. So I set my boundaries clear. If I am OK with her dancing, kissing, having sex with a guy - or not - I need to make my boundaries clear. You have not. And so she's pushed and pushed because she loves feeling attractive. But feeling attractive won't likely be enough, especially since her BF doesn't care, and one day (if not already), she will kiss the guy. And then more. It's how it works. So figure out your boundaries and communicate them clearly. It seems that dancing more than once with a guy is beyond your boundary. Personally, I find dancing once with a guy that's not a friend of mine beyond my boundary but everyone is different so first have that conversation with yourself, and then with her.
alphamale Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 This girl is an attention seeker ... show me a woman who isn't 1
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