LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 I will admit that I can be naive at times, but even I am not that naive... Me too, Bailey. Same!! This guy thinks of OP as an alright option for right now, not dating seriously. That’s what is in his head. He’s hoping you’ll say yes to the sex. I fully agree he didn’t “think he messaged back.” He knows he didn’t. If you meet up with him and proceed to give him an interrogation, be prepared for blowback. You’ve only been on 2 dates.
Jay1971 Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Super flaky behaviour. Throw him back into the dating pond if I were you. Sounds like he only wants sex... see second date.. then when he realised he wasn't going to get it, he uses another tactic. The disappearing act could be he had someone else for a few days and is now bored/she ditched him/he couldn't find an alternative/he's playing a game to get you wondering.. then he will come back and play the same game again. You are quite young from the sounds of things. I have come across this type of man many times in my earlier dating years and I can only advise that if you are not looking for just a quick bonk, then waste not a single second more of your mental energy on trying to figure out WHY he is behaving like an avoidant, game playing arse and think about why YOU are even giving him the time of day. He is probably a "good looking eejit" as my gran used to say and is used to playing women all over the place. There are soooo many single men out there, so forget about this one. I have a friend in her 50s who is dating again and she has wasted literally years of her life on this kind of man. Don't make that mistake. Oh, and people who sleep around get STIs. Another reason to not bother (if you needed one). 2
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 Me too, Bailey. Same!! This guy thinks of OP as an alright option for right now, not dating seriously. That’s what is in his head. He’s hoping you’ll say yes to the sex. I fully agree he didn’t “think he messaged back.” He knows he didn’t. If you meet up with him and proceed to give him an interrogation, be prepared for blowback. You’ve only been on 2 dates. What do you mean an alright option for right now and not dating seriously? I mean that's pretty insulting to me and you don't even know me. I have made it clear I am looking for a relationship. Yes I also do agree he just didn't message back. Then he asked me if I am bailing. Well I'm gonna ask about his behaviour as it doesn't really make sense to me. The table tennis was mentioned for another day not today. He has said himself I am a classy and refined lady but he finds me sexy. So.. my guess is either that he doesn't exactly know what he wants.... or that he is not as single as he says. I want to see how this date will go and honestly I will start the search again.
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Oh, and this comment: “On the other hand he told me he spoke to his friends about me and has showed pics too,” you don’t know what he told his friends. He could have just told them about his plan to bed you and showed them a pic of “how hot” you are. Odds are he wasn’t telling them about his undying love for you. I agree with what Jay said, you do seem young and we aren’t trying to be harsh (at least I’m not.) But it’s better to know the warning signs and moving on, especially in a situation where you’re probably looking for something different than him. No need to put yourself in a path toward being hurt. Good luck!
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 No no I think I will start searching again. The thing is he is a single dad so I expected he would have more respect etc in his approach. Unless I dunno... he is not as single as he says... Dunno what to say
BaileyB Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 What do you mean an alright option for right now and not dating seriously? I mean that's pretty insulting to me and you don't even know me. I have made it clear I am looking for a relationship. So.. my guess is either that he doesn't exactly know what he wants.... or that he is not as single as he says. The comment was not meant to be a reflection of you as a person, as much as it was a statement on what he is probably looking for when he sent out that 2am text. He had no other options, so he may as well check and see if you were still around. I agree with LenaRae, I don’t get th feeling younare looking for the same thing. There is no harm in going on another date, just keep your eyes and ears open, pay attention to his actions - not his words, and don’t do anything you don’t want to do... 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 Well to be honest my idea was to know each other better. I don't even know him and so doesn't he. But in general I am dating with a mindset of a possible relationship. Maybe he doesn't date with the same mindset.
Redhead14 Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Maybe he doesn't date with the same mindset. In this case, that's obvious . . .
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Ok so he is a single dad.. I guess he is still a married man hence the hotel room for sex, the 2am text (wife asleep) and the disappearing off the radar... 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 He has told me he was not married just engaged and he is nine months single But you never know do u??? The last time we went out he were till late
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 (edited) What do you mean an alright option for right now and not dating seriously? I mean that's pretty insulting to me and you don't even know me. I have made it clear I am looking for a relationship. He has said himself I am a classy and refined lady but he finds me sexy. Chrys31 - I definitely did not mean that in any derogatory way toward you! You sound lovely, sweet, and kind. It’s a good thing to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it can be to your detriment if you do so while ignoring other signals. Let’s face it, you are asking these questions on here as a direct result of his misleading behavior. My comment was meant to show you his actions are not consistent with someone who wants to date you seriously, regardless of what you said you are looking for. I’m sure he likes that you are a classy, refined, and “good” woman but his skipping past those comments to state how “sexy” he finds you is another signal that he is looking to have sex with you and not a relationship. A man who wants a relationship and a connection with you will not leave you hanging, questioning, or guessing about what it is he wants. He definitely won’t hit you up at 2am for a date. That’s disrespectful. Not responding to your attempts to verify plans, also disrespectful. Trying to convince you to go with him to a hotel on the first date, very disrespectful. A man who wants a relationship will not disrespect you. Edited May 25, 2019 by LenaRea
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 Sighs. You never know with online dating....
Jay1971 Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Sighs. You never know with online dating.... In my experience you really never know with anyone... 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 In my experience you really never know with anyone... Tell me about it My two most toxic relationships came from offline You can meet men that are totally wrong for you anywhere both online and off
kendahke Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Well basically I wanna ask him why first of all he asked me at 2 am to pick a date and left ball in my court and secondly what's the deal with him, I mean his behaviour sometimes is not normal to me unless there is some big misunderstanding somewhere. Why do you feel you're owed an explanation from a guy who is in no way invested in you? Amusement doesn't count, which for him, that's what this is because if he was truly serious about you, he wouldn't be hamfisting his way through the first 3 dates. He isn't even arsed to be on his best behavior. Understand that he doesn't owe you his truth. He'll tell you only what you need to know, because right now, you're on a "need to know" basis.
Author Chrys31 Posted June 10, 2019 Author Posted June 10, 2019 (edited) I have gone on three dates with this guy they went really well we had a make out session on the third date. He asked me last week when our fourth date would be and I said that Saturday but he couldn’t as he had a football match. He said we should arrange something soon. I initiated on Saturday and he initiated the same day another conversation by sending me a pic of him at the football match. Last week, I asked him when he would like to meet and he said hopefully soon babe. Then he said he has his son over this weekend and he said hopefully next weekend which I replied that it sounds good. We exchanged kissing emojis. Since Wed nothing. I sent him a kissing emoji on Saturday and I heard nothing. Is he ghosting for some reason? Edited June 10, 2019 by Chrys31
Flame Aura Posted June 10, 2019 Posted June 10, 2019 Please say this is not the same guy from your previous thread, who wanted to go to a hotel after your second date?
Author Chrys31 Posted June 10, 2019 Author Posted June 10, 2019 Please say this is not the same guy from your previous thread, who wanted to go to a hotel after your second date? The same, we had a third date where we made out and then he said that he wants to do a lot of stuff together including non sexual stuff and suggested a fourth date. but now seems he is ghosting...
frus69 Posted June 10, 2019 Posted June 10, 2019 How often do you meet each other? If it's less than twice a week, forget it. Hes not serious
Flame Aura Posted June 10, 2019 Posted June 10, 2019 The same, we had a third date where we made out and then he said that he wants to do a lot of stuff together including non sexual stuff and suggested a fourth date. but now seems he is ghosting... So you ignored everyone's advice in that thread.. ok.. No surprises he is now ghosting you. It's clear his actions do not match his words. If he truly wanted to develop a relationship with you, he would not be doing this. You are wasting your time with him.
Author Chrys31 Posted June 10, 2019 Author Posted June 10, 2019 So you ignored everyone's advice in that thread.. ok.. No surprises he is now ghosting you. It's clear his actions do not match his words. If he truly wanted to develop a relationship with you, he would not be doing this. You are wasting your time with him. I didn't ignore anyone's advice. He did suggest meeting for a fourth time and then he appears as of last week to be disappearing... I dont know him enough to be fair so i wanted to see where things would go. I thought he wanted to explore the same
emeraldgreen Posted June 10, 2019 Posted June 10, 2019 An interested guy won't confuse you. We're just not that complicated. If he was super keen, he'd be making sure someone else didn't scoop you up!
Author Chrys31 Posted June 10, 2019 Author Posted June 10, 2019 An interested guy won't confuse you. We're just not that complicated. If he was super keen, he'd be making sure someone else didn't scoop you up! right.... i guess i will forget this one then and i will keep looking. I dont like this inconsistency at all
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