Author Chrys31 Posted May 20, 2019 Author Posted May 20, 2019 Well i believe we are adults here and we can have a meaningful convo. He asked me to a third date right?? Fine. Didnt mention anything sexual this time and was snooping my photos. So as an adult im going to ask whats going on. Why didn't he contact a week what did he think etc and what he wants to do. Simple. If he says i dont want relationship, then thanks very much, bye. If he says he wants to date me in view of a relationship, fine lets know each other better
I'veseenbetterlol Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 Errr he told me he wanted to take me out for dinner etc but ok.... These men will tell you anything, heck they will tell you they will love you forever if you give them sex. He never lost interest because he only wanted sex. Had you given in, he would have left you after you slept w/him.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 Im planning to ask him what was he expecting as it seems to me he thought i just was not interested for a third date. And generally what his behaviour means Don't ask him anything. He will either not respond or pretend like he didn't have hidden motives. If anything this will make you look desperate, that you are chasing after him. 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 20, 2019 Author Posted May 20, 2019 Don't ask him anything. He will either not respond or pretend like he didn't have hidden motives. If anything this will make you look desperate' date=' that you are chasing after him.[/quote'] No i mean i will ask him on the date face to face. I will simply day i find it weird that he was a week without contact and then suddenly this. Nothing desperate about that. I hope i can get somewhere
Iris The Butterfly Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 It’s not that complicated. Why do you feel the need to ask him face to face? Does that serve your ego? You are seeking validation by doing that and yes it does look desperate. He’s not interested in anything more than sex or something casual. It is clear. Does it matter why? Does it matter whether he admits in person? He’s not going to say that. He’s going to make an excuse as to why he didn’t contact you. You’ve already taken his bait now.
stillafool Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 It looks like you are chasing him whether you see it or not. I'm sure there has to be another man around your area that will treat you better. Why are you so desperate for this one?
Redhead14 Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 Well i believe we are adults here and we can have a meaningful convo. He asked me to a third date right?? Fine. Didnt mention anything sexual this time and was snooping my photos. So as an adult im going to ask whats going on. Why didn't he contact a week what did he think etc and what he wants to do. Simple. If he says i dont want relationship, then thanks very much, bye. If he says he wants to date me in view of a relationship, fine lets know each other better He called you at 3 a.m., drunk.! Any man who drops off contact for over a week and then calls me at 3 a.m. and drunk too, gets hung up on and then blocked and deleted. I wouldn't have answered his call just because of his behavior prior. There's no need to ask him anything. It won't be a good look for you. This isn't about two adults having an adult conversation. At this point in the scenario, you don't have "conversations" or confrontations. You evaluate based solely on behaviors and what they've shown you so far. Even if this guy was/is sincere, he's sh*tty at dating at best. Next. No further communication necessary.
mortensorchid Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 Unfortunately you have to assume that when you are meeting someone online that they are looking for sex anymore. Unless you are on a religious website where people are committed to remaining celibate until they marry, but that's another thread. He didn't get what he wanted from you immediately, he was looking for a hookup and you were looking for a relationship. He's just another dude in the chain. Move on.
dispatch3d Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 Lotsa cynicism in this thread, couldn't tell you if its justified I'm a guy that moves slow haha. Anyhow just reminds me I really gotta up my game and get movin earlier...
Author Chrys31 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Posted May 21, 2019 Lotsa cynicism in this thread, couldn't tell you if its justified I'm a guy that moves slow haha. Anyhow just reminds me I really gotta up my game and get movin earlier... Yes i.kinda think some of the answers are a bit harsh. I do have concerns of course. But i would like to have this conversation. I dont believe there is any harm. I do know that some men are unscrupulous and say and do anything to get laid but.... is that always true? I dont believe most guys will last that long if that is ALL they are after, there are other easier options after all. I will speak to him then if we meet about all the above and see what he says. If his answers are whacky or don't make sense its simply the case of thank you very much bye.
h0000 Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 (edited) Wait so you had 2 dates in what, weeeeeks? Then You asked for a drink either Saturday or Monday and then no word from him Sunday and Monday..then what? he ghosted you?? Then you contacted him again?? How long havent you seen him now? And he's always active on POF? And he's fine going weeeeeks without seeing you or daaaays without contacting you? And you are trying to figure out if this is a genuine guy and wants a relationship with you? Did I miss something? Edited May 21, 2019 by h0000
Author Chrys31 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Posted May 21, 2019 (edited) I was on holiday for a week and we met 20th April first time. At this point i dont know the guy obviously and i don't know if thìs can be a relationship or not. There must have been some misunderstanding here for him to send that text so this is what i wanna clear up if we meet Saturday, as i cant know what another person may be thinking. I am active on pof and so is he but he does snoop in my profile. So, i think at this point a conversation is needed. Him asking me out on a Saturday night with that text, makes me think that possibly he understood something very different than i did. Edited May 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Clean up and delete duplicate post
h0000 Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 (edited) Yes i.kinda think some of the answers are a bit harsh. I do have concerns of course. But i would like to have this conversation. I dont believe there is any harm. Harm when you are naive and easily manipulated by some simple sweet words. I do know that some men are unscrupulous and say and do anything to get laid but.... is that always true? Every guy wants sex. But some only wants sex, others want more. Here is the difference: Only after sex: They will either be upfront with you and see if you are on the same page, or lie to you and get to your pants. Would also like to genuinely get to know you: They wont expect sex on first date. But if you suggest it, hell yeah they'll be up for it because they are attractive to you. In this case you may take it as a compliment. But your guy is not this case unfortunately. I dont believe most guys will last that long if that is ALL they are after, there are other easier options after all. Did he last long with you? Sounded to me like he didnt put in any effort (how often does he see you?) it's you who always hangs around. Maybe I miss some info here? Edited May 21, 2019 by h0000
Highndry Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 I am active on pof and so is he but he does snoop in my profile. Isn't POF loaded with welfare queens and ex-cons?
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 (edited) Met a guy online. We had 2 dates. On the second date we kissed passionately and he suggested hotel. I declined saying that it's too early for this . We continued talking after the second date , then I noticed I initiated more that's him. So I left it. One week passed by with no contact and he asked me at 2 am when is our third date and that he leaves the ball in my court. He has been snooping in my dating profile too where I made changes. So I said that we could meet this Saturday and he acts excited to see me and this week initiated contact etc. So yesterday night I send him a text to confirm the date and the place we said and I get no reply. Next morning no reply. So I did send him then that I find a bit funny that he asked me to pick up a time and place for a third date answer then bailed but oh well. Next He replied saying that he thought he answered. I didn't reply for an hour and he asks me if I am bailing . I said no but I find weird his behaviour. So we are meeting tonight he said he wants to take me to a place with nice tapas and sangria first. I am thinking to ask him straight what's going on with him. Can someone explain what kind of game is this????? Edited May 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Construct paragraphs and merge update
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 (edited) @Chrys31.... I think people have you good advice the first time, but he’s probably just weighing his “options.” That he’s always asking you out in the middle of the night is a clear indication you’re just a booty-call-waiting-to-happen for him - if the hotel on night one didn’t tip you off. That’s how I would read his “tapas and sangria first” message. First? That sounds like he’s thinking of NSA times second. It’s up to you if you’re okay with that or not, but this guy isn’t looking for a relationship with you. Edited May 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
BaileyB Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 I think the question you should be asking is why you are giving this another chance when he clearly wants sex and has demonstrated very flaky/not reliable behavior? My first thought with the 2am text is that it was a drunken decision - just floating it out there and you bit! So now, he is willing to invest a little more to see where this goes... probably hoping all roads lead to sex on the third date. 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 No the only time he asked for a date at 2 am was after 1 week of no contact. The rest were normal and this week there were no sexual innuendos he also said to go and play table tennis together which I like. But what bugs me is this behaviour. Wtf it means he thought he replied???? That's why I'm wondering and I want to ask
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 What is going on is you are chasing a guy who is luke-warm at best. Are you all ready for that sex in a hotel this time?... 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 No sex for me. He asked for a date and there you go. Other than that, I don't know what is going on in his head
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Well, you don’t know him, so you won’t know what is in his head, or have even a basic general sense of him, until you do know him better. However, based on the information you’ve given so far between the two threads he only wants sex. Go out on the date and see what happens, but don’t be surprised if he tries for another hotel.
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 Well basically I wanna ask him why first of all he asked me at 2 am to pick a date and left ball in my court and secondly what's the deal with him, I mean his behaviour sometimes is not normal to me unless there is some big misunderstanding somewhere. Maybe he doesn't know exactly what he would want?? To me yes first thought seems sex. On the other hand he told me he spoke to his friends about me and has showed pics too.
Curiousroxy86 Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Op you want to know why he would say he responded when he clearly didnt? well let me translate for you.... I tried to find some other women to have sex with but couldnt find anybody and your still around so instead of letting you know that I tried to ghost you I figured I would tell you that I thought I replied so I can still have a shot when I really ignored you since you wasnt giving it up. my bad. want to f*ck now? thats what that means 3
Author Chrys31 Posted May 25, 2019 Author Posted May 25, 2019 Hang on a sec... He asked for a date and I did give a time, day and place. He did keep in touch throughout the week without initiation from me. He did mention table tennis as in to go together. This all to me doesn't make a lot of sense?????
BaileyB Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Hang on a sec... He asked for a date and he did keep in touch throughout the week without initiation from me. He did mention table tennis as in to go together. If f course he did... if he said, let’s go for drinks and tapas and then have sex your answer would have been... Instead, he said, let’s go play table tennis, and then for drink’s and tapas... (and then, we’ll see what happens...). You can’t honestly be this naive. A guy does not ask you to go to a hotel on the send date, drop off the face of the earth, text you at 2am and then decide - he wants to “date” you properly, take you for dinner and table tennis, with no expectation of sex... I will admit that I can be naive at times, but even I am not that naive... 1
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