Author Chrys31 Posted May 15, 2019 Author Posted May 15, 2019 I kissed as i felt a connection but doesnt mean im up for a hotel or i look like im up for a hotel. That is ridiculous. I explicitly said i want to explore the physical and the whole connection with him. I even initiated contacts with him. He was withdrawn and so i left it. Well his loss i guess
basil67 Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 No, it's not ridiculous. When dating, we are guided by our past experiences. If he's dated women before who want a relationship and have also been up for second date sex...given the passionate kissing, it's reasonable for him to think that you'd behave in a similar way. When dating in future, instead of saying "explore the physical" try saying "take it slow"
Author Chrys31 Posted May 15, 2019 Author Posted May 15, 2019 I think you are not reading . I said explore the whole connection with him . Including physical yes. But i would like to know him better. I dont think this guy was up for relationship otherwise he would ask me for more dates
kendahke Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 I think you are not reading I said explore and he stopped listening at "explore" and his imagination took off with all the things he gets to explore on you. I dont think this guy was up for relationship otherwise he would ask me for more dates Perhaps, but then again, semantics might have been the spanner in these works. Unless you were adamantly clear with him about keeping the cat in the house before your lips met, he most likely took it as the usual verbal "first defense" which randy women say so you don't think they do this all the time. 1
smackie9 Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 They can hire an escort or go to a strip club to jerk off or possibly more if they just want this Wtf they would go to a date with a woman that wants a relationship Because it's legal and probably likes the challenge.
smackie9 Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 he most likely took it as the usual verbal "first defense" which randy women say so you don't think they do this all the time. This^^^^ is a common tactic women use on those site. crazy right? 2
Curiousroxy86 Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 honey I cant tell if this guy was even interested to begin with from all that chasing you was doing yall had a second date but you asked to meet him before the second date you initiated texts (since you noticed he stopped initating) you called him on whats app "accidentally" and you mention he dont text you on his own you asked him for a beer after all that initiation we dont know why he is not contacting you now and I know you want to know but its not important to know honestly you can do whatever you want but I recommend you allow men to initiate contact and ask you out and not the other way around. you respond with consistent interest and it will become very clear how interested a man is in you based on his pursuit of you. I know alot of people like to preach that it shouldn't matter if it is the guy or girl that initiates and its modern day society bs but im sorry it does matter. many men's attraction does fade when a woman chase. they will be flattered and they will take gladly what you offer on a platter because its there, its free, it kills time, it has benefits, and why the f*ck not but its not going to encourage him to go after you like that because it was provided before he could even come to his own decision if he even wants it or not or continue to want it or not. so all that intiating you doing does nothing but kills the desire on a deep level. and he himself may not even understand why he is not feeling it since you may be pretty, sweet, and interested but this is happening on more subconscious level. so dont do that no more girl lol (my 2 cents take it or leave it) 2
OnlyHonesty Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 They can hire an escort or go to a strip club to jerk off or possibly more if they just want this Wtf they would go to a date with a woman that wants a relationship Lots of women say they are looking for something serious, they don't do hookups, and that they are only interested in relationships. Then the guy meets them, and they end up in bed together. Then she says ''I don't usually do this'' Lots of people say what they want, but their actions prove to be the opposite, and some think they want something, that they don't really want. 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 15, 2019 Author Posted May 15, 2019 (edited) I know alot of people like to preach that it shouldn't matter if it is the guy or girl that initiates and its modern day society bs but im sorry it does matter. many men's attraction does fade when a woman chase. they will be flattered and they will take gladly what you offer on a platter because its there, its free, it kills time, it has benefits, and why the f*ck not but its not going to encourage him to go after you like that because it was provided before he could even come to his own decision if he even wants it or not or continue to want it or not. so all that intiating you doing does nothing but kills the desire on a deep level. and he himself may not even understand why he is not feeling it since you may be pretty, sweet, and interested but this is happening on more subconscious level. Well i only asked him for a second date as i would be leaving for hols and he told me he was about to ask me the same. And yes whats app call was accidental indeed. Oh well off to the next one. Well when he saw me he was showing a lot of interest and complimenting me a lot Edited May 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited
Iris The Butterfly Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 They can hire an escort or go to a strip club to jerk off or possibly more if they just want this Wtf they would go to a date with a woman that wants a relationship I've felt this way and wondered this same question. Easy to find sex so why wouldn't they just find someone who doesn't want a relationship? I think the answer is that they see a pretty woman online and still go for it, thinking he might get lucky anyway. Probably still wants the attention...from anyone. Men have fewer options than women do apparently (online I've found that to be the case), and why wouldn't they want the attention, potential for sex, opportunity to go out with/spend time with a woman they find attractive and good company? It's an ego boost and boredom killer I guess. Many times I'm sure they do get lucky as a lot of women are also online for casual dating. I think the nature of OLD assumes a casual vibe. So even if someone says they're looking for a relationship you really can't know that until you meet and their actions will show that or not. What happened to you has happened to me a million times when I was online dating. Ugh, I hated it. I met my bf online about 6+ months ago and I was skeptical (as I always have been about OLD) at the time but he was clear from the get go he was looking for a relationship. I was very cautious and didn't necessarily believe him until I observed his actions over time and took into consideration the effort he was putting into communicating with me daily, and planning dates that didn't have anything to do with us getting into bed or creating an opportunity for it. Bottom line: if a guy you meet (especially online) asks to meet you at his home/your home/a hotel, etc. before 3 dates or so, assume he is only interested in getting you to bed. A gentleman who really does want a relationship will not try that at all, he would want to actually date you, like plan a date out, talking, in public. He wouldn't want to give you the wrong impression by moving too fast. He would also contact you frequently and plan dates with a firm time and place. You wouldn't have to chase him either, he would be the one contacting you. 2
kendahke Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 They can hire an escort or go to a strip club to jerk off or possibly more if they just want this Wtf they would go to a date with a woman that wants a relationship because they don't imagine themselves as being so desperate for sex that they'll take things that far. Besides, do you know how many women have problems with their guys seeing sex workers before they get into a relationship? Just read some threads around here to find your answer: it doesn't go over well with the new chick 9 times out of 10... and most people on here tell them to run for the hills if they do get with a guy who has admitted this... so what's left? 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 15, 2019 Author Posted May 15, 2019 because they don't imagine themselves as being so desperate for sex that they'll take things that far. Besides, do you know how many women have problems with their guys seeing sex workers before they get into a relationship? Just read some threads around here to find your answer: it doesn't go over well with the new chick 9 times out of 10... and most people on here tell them to run for the hills if they do get with a guy who has admitted this... so what's left? There are a lot of women that want sex only?
The Outlaw Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 Some people are just in it for the sex. They tell you what they feel you want to hear to get what they want out of it. Again, you didn't lose anything. Forget him. Find a guy that wants you for you and isn't just going to use you.
Author Chrys31 Posted May 20, 2019 Author Posted May 20, 2019 Now i am quite confused. He snooped in my profile on the dating site and when i saw that i did the same. He texted me on Saturday at 2 am the following: "When is date number 3? I am leaving the ball in your court lol x". He was out as he told me and a bit drunk. I replied jokingly asking if we are playing tennis or something and i said that we could do Saturday,. He said he wants to get me on the dance floor and complimented my pic on whats app. Now I am confused. Is this a butter up for sex??? He didnt mention sexual stuff he asked me suggestions for takeaway, but flirty, normal conversation. The truth is, i changed my dating profile as i added a new pic and also in the description i said that currently i am looking for a relationship and those who dont have these intentions in mind when dating, to not contact. Dunno whats going on but if we meet i think to ask
PinkPampies Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 I would just move on. You already have too many doubts and in this early in the dating game, that’s no good.
kendahke Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 There are a lot of women that want sex only? Yes, believe it or not. They do exist. just because it's not your reality doesn't mean it's not a reality.
Highndry Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 (edited) There are a lot of women that want sex only? There are quite possibly as many women as men who want sex only, they just hide it at first. No woman puts on a profile "looking for NSA/sex on the first date." They're all "looking for a relationship," they just conveniently leave out the fact that they're looking for a sexual relationship within hours of meeting men. Over the course of my life I can't tell you how many women have been the sexual aggressor. And yes, I have heard "I don't normally do this." I would like to say, however, that there are a lot of us men out there who appreciate a woman like you, who doesn't give it away on the first or second date. Those are the only kind of women I will consider for a long term relationship. Edited May 20, 2019 by Highndry 1
stillafool Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 Lots of women say they are looking for something serious, they don't do hookups, and that they are only interested in relationships. Then the guy meets them, and they end up in bed together. Then she says ''I don't usually do this'' Lots of people say what they want, but their actions prove to be the opposite, and some think they want something, that they don't really want. :lmao::laugh:I couldn't agree more. My favorite one is when they start out with "I'm a bit naive........"
stillafool Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 There are a lot of women that want sex only? Yeah, women like sex too.
Author Chrys31 Posted May 20, 2019 Author Posted May 20, 2019 I am a bit confused by this now... We said to meet Saturday. Im thinking if.we meet to ask him what this is all about
Redhead14 Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 I am a bit confused by this now... We said to meet Saturday. Im thinking if.we meet to ask him what this is all about Good lord! You're going to go out with him again???? Please get a grip. This guy dropped off with contact for a significant period of time after a second date where it was clear he was after sex. Then, he pops both of his heads up at 3 a.m. in the morning and drunk after poking around your profile again and you're still thinking of seeing him again? If you end up being disappointed, feeling used, and further confused, you have now crossed over into being complicit in it. 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 20, 2019 Author Posted May 20, 2019 Im planning to ask him what was he expecting as it seems to me he thought i just was not interested for a third date. And generally what his behaviour means
ExpatInItaly Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 Are you expecting to get honest answers out of him? 1
Author Chrys31 Posted May 20, 2019 Author Posted May 20, 2019 Well i guess i will see how he behaves the following days. If we meet im gonna ask straight. If he hints sex ill say if i dont see your place, i aint ****ing with ya. See what he says
Redhead14 Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 Im planning to ask him what was he expecting as it seems to me he thought i just was not interested for a third date. And generally what his behaviour means We're telling you what his behavior means. That's why you're here isn't it? Go ahead and ask him. You'll be giving him a heads up though and then, he will say whatever he thinks you want to hear to keep you on the hook . . . until you cave in and have sex with him and then he'll be gone again until he gets drunk again and his other options have dried up and make another run at it. I'll bet he's super patient. 1
Recommended Posts