SugarLips72 Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 As luck would have it my last round of OLD has resulted in me meeting a guy and we have really hit it off. He literally lived around the corner from ME same neighborhood and now just moved into an apt about 5 miles away. He’s 40 I’m 47. Most people that have sleep apnea are overweight. He is no exception he is 6 ft 2 a solid 255 or so works out and trying to lose another 25 lbs. his weight has made it worse but he said his Dad has it bad too an when he was 200 lbs he still had it. He has no medical insurance to do a sleep study but it working on eventually getting another job that offered benefits. He stayed the night at my house last weekend and I didn’t sleep at all. He snores so loud and catches himself and wakes himself up a lot and that’s loud too. I wound up sleeping in my daughters room which sucks because I’ve slept alone for years and looks like that’s not going to change. Last night we had a great date night. Back to his apt. I wanted to sleep in his bed but there’s no way with his loud snoring I would have gotten any sleep so he understands we need to kinda workout sleep overs for now. He has a couch and If I pack my bag I can sleep on That. Are there noise cancelling headphones or something else that will work? I’m a very light sleeper. He knows he needs to get medical help but until then how do you work around it?
greymatter Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Try foam earplugs, the kind construction workers wear. I was married to someone with sleep apnea and the earplugs saved my life. My partner snores a little sometimes, and I keep earplugs on my nightstand just in case. They do the trick for me.
alphamale Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 sleep apnea can be caused by other serious medical issues, he should checked out by a doctor even if he has to pay out of pocket. this is a life threatening issue, don't treat it lightly 1
emeraldgreen Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Headphones won't stop you waking up next to a dead guy one day. He needs to get that sleep study. Work harder and get it done. He isn't "catching himself". That's his heart shocking him back into consciousness after his breathing has stopped a couple of times per minute. 3
Author SugarLips72 Posted June 9, 2019 Author Posted June 9, 2019 Trust me I know. We’ve only been dating a few weeks what can I do? I’m encouraging him to find a better job. He needs medical benefits and to get this treated. sleep apnea can be caused by other serious medical issues, he should checked out by a doctor even if he has to pay out of pocket. this is a life threatening issue, don't treat it lightly
emeraldgreen Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Another reason I'm glad to be Aussie. Got a referral from my GP for a sleep specialist who then referred me to a sleep study, all taken care of by Medicare. I had to pay $1500 for my cpap machine, but then I got an electricity rebate because it's crucial for life. Oy Oy Oy. That was 10 years ago and I've been getting a solid 7 hours sleep per night ever since. 2
Happy Lemming Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 A couple of years ago, I noticed my girlfriend snoring more and that same "catching" her breath, as you put it. "emeraldgreen" is correct, it is the body's autonomic response trying to re-start itself. And even though she slept 12 hours a day, she was always tired, because the body's sleep was being interrupted "saving her". I mentioned it to her, she went to a sleep study and sure enough it was Sleep Apnea. One CPAP machine later and she sleeps a lot better, no more snoring, no more "catching" her breath, no longer tired during the day, more energy, happier, etc. etc. There is some cleaning & maintenance that goes with a CPAP machine, but I help her with it on the weekends when she stays over. Agreeing with other posters, encourage him to get to a doctor. As for the foam earplugs, I did try them (before we realized it was sleep apnea) and they gave me a horrible head ache. I have no idea why, but every time I stuck them in I woke up with a brain shattering head ache (almost a migraine). 1
central Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 If he can get a job with benefits and do a sleep study, he'll probably be eligible for a CPAP machine. Insurance will cover a lot of the cost, but not all. However, it is worth it, and better sleep will lead to more energy and faster weight loss if he continues working out.
smackie9 Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 (edited) The reality is, don't sleep in the same room and you can get one of those white noise boxes that will cancel out his snoring. A lot of hotels have them. Has he tried sleeping elevated? Sometimes that helps. He can buy a triangle cushion that physio uses. I know Costco used to sell them...made of memory foam. Edited June 9, 2019 by smackie9
preraph Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 If you end up together, you just need to insist on your own bedroom from the get-go. I know it's not ideal, but that won't go away. Also, I had it worst when I was 40 pounds lighter than I am now, so I was actually worse after losing weight than at my big weight now. I still have it some, but the tissue in there isn't as loose and rattling around as when I'm thinner. Things that may help him: Guaifenesin if he also has drainage contributing. I'm on 1200 mg and I take it right before bed. An allergy nasal spray before bed (I like NasalCrom but you can barely find it anymore) Again, that's if it's drainage related. Humidifier. This should really help some. Of course humidifiers can mess up the paint on your ceiling. You can sometimes find little vaporizer fountains that also put up some vapor without being so much to ruin your paint. When it's especially dry outside, I run the hot shower which is near my bedroom long enough to himidify before fed and then get up later in the night and do it again. Humidity can really help apnea. Dry air is not your friend. Sometimes just not sleeping on your back will help.
snowcones Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 My Ex snored (with sleep apnea) and I am a light sleeper as well. He's not overweight though, so that's not always the reason, I wouldn't put my hopes on weight loss solving the problem. The only advice I ever got was wear earplugs, get a CPAP machine or sleep in separate rooms. None of those were satisfactory to me, but we broke up for other reasons so I never had to go further into the issue.
JuneL Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 Trust me I know. We’ve only been dating a few weeks what can I do? I’m encouraging him to find a better job. He needs medical benefits and to get this treated. Even if he can’t afford the CPAP machine out of pocket, he can still wear something in the mouth before he gets a job with health insurance. Go visit a good ENT doctor. It might just cost him $200 for a consultation out of pocket.
Foxhall Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 be careful about ever getting in a car with him or I mean going on a long drive with him driving.
Jay1971 Posted June 9, 2019 Posted June 9, 2019 He needs to get evaluated by a doctor/sleep laboratory. An ex had this really bad. He was eventually evaluated but wouldn't give up smoking so and wouldn't help himself so no idea what happened in the end. I used ear plugs but they didn't always help. He would move in his sleep a lot too and cough. I was unable to sleep in the same room with him, and if we were forced to, I never slept well. He may or may not get help, but right now, just sleep in another room - it's fortunate you have one. Good sleep is essential. And no matter what anyone says, sleeping separately does not mean you don't have a good sex life and all that jazz. I thrash around too and have always preferred my own bed.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 10, 2019 Posted June 10, 2019 Sleep apnea is serious. A young guy I knew died in his sleep ... he was very overweight and I assumed it was sleep apnea. Apnea stresses the heart ... makes people exhausting ... affects brain function ... That's serious! Look, he needs to find a clinic with a sliding scale ... or a free clinic somewhere. Lots of places have them ... and get a doctor to write a script for a sleep study. A close friend lost his job ... and didn't have insurance ... he's been going to a city-funded clinic and the doctor there has written scripts that got him free surgery, free colonoscopy, and he's going to another free procedure next month. Don't know quite how it works, but the doctor at a clinic will know hospitals that accept patients without insurance ... and depending on how severe the condition is, a clinic doctor can get you free hospital treatment. Obviously, this varies from location to location and I live in a big city. But he should google free clinics and clinics with a sliding scale and start there. He doesn't just have to wait til he gets insurance. Once he gets a sleep study, there are hospitals and programs that give out cpap machines at a discount. Again, my buddy gets this. I think he pays $25 for his CPAP machine.
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