Copingsaw Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 So I've been dating this girl for about 2-1/2 months. Things have developed slowly but steadily. We have fun together, have a lot in common, etc. etc. There has been some intimacy but not as much as other relationships I've been in up to that point. She's a bit reserved and I usually date more outgoing woman so I thought that might explain some of it. We hadn't had any serious conversations about the status of the relationship and I found that a bit unusual. Most women seem to want that conversation fairly early into the relationship. So, I brought the subject up and all I could get out of her was "I don't know". We talked about it for a while and I gave her every chance to tell me she wasn't interested if that was indeed the case. She wouldn't give any answers beyond "I don't know". I ended the conversation by telling her to think about it and call me when she had figured out what her feelings were about the relationship. I left her house that night fairly certain that the relationship was over. Its been a week now and I haven't heard from her. I'm somewhat at peace with this so I'm not really all that anxious to call her myself ... but I do want some closure so I can move on. On the off chance that she actually is interested, I would still be interested in her. We're both in our mid-30's and I don't think its unreasonable to ask somebody to be able to discuss their thoughts and feelings 2+ months into the relationship. I'm assuming that she isn't that into me and just can't bring herself to tell me. Could I be wrong in this assumption? Do I swallow my pride and call her or just move on?
fusangite Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 So I've been dating this girl for about 2-1/2 months. Things have developed slowly but steadily. We have fun together, have a lot in common, etc. etc. There has been some intimacy but not as much as other relationships I've been in up to that point. She's a bit reserved and I usually date more outgoing woman so I thought that might explain some of it. We hadn't had any serious conversations about the status of the relationship and I found that a bit unusual. Most women seem to want that conversation fairly early into the relationship. So, I brought the subject up and all I could get out of her was "I don't know". We talked about it for a while and I gave her every chance to tell me she wasn't interested if that was indeed the case. She wouldn't give any answers beyond "I don't know". I ended the conversation by telling her to think about it and call me when she had figured out what her feelings were about the relationship. I left her house that night fairly certain that the relationship was over. Its been a week now and I haven't heard from her. I'm somewhat at peace with this so I'm not really all that anxious to call her myself ... but I do want some closure so I can move on. On the off chance that she actually is interested, I would still be interested in her. We're both in our mid-30's and I don't think its unreasonable to ask somebody to be able to discuss their thoughts and feelings 2+ months into the relationship. I'm assuming that she isn't that into me and just can't bring herself to tell me. Could I be wrong in this assumption? Do I swallow my pride and call her or just move on?She has dumped you. Sorry.
flowergirl Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 I'd move on if I were you. She would've been able to give you a straight answer if she'd been interested in you and she wouldn't be ignoring you. Good luck.
Author Copingsaw Posted September 25, 2005 Author Posted September 25, 2005 She has dumped you. Sorry. I agree but its the method that suprises me. She seems like a mature, respectful, kind person. I've been both the dumper and the dumpee many times and this is the first time that I have experienced the 'blow off' dump with somebody I have dated more than just once or twice. Were the shoe on the other foot, I couldn't imagine not having 'the talk' with her. It just strikes me as disrespectful not to have the common courtesy to have that discussion. Who knows, maybe she will call eventually. Oh well, time to move on I guess ...
fusangite Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 I agree but its the method that suprises me. She seems like a mature, respectful, kind person.Oh well, we all have our moments of cowardice. Looks like this was hers.I've been both the dumper and the dumpee many times and this is the first time that I have experienced the 'blow off' dump with somebody I have dated more than just once or twice.Several friends of mine who are doing internet dating are observing the trend of this dumping strategy being used further and further into relationships. This may just be the new way of things and we just have to adapt.
JS17 Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 I agree but its the method that suprises me. She seems like a mature, respectful, kind person. I've been both the dumper and the dumpee many times and this is the first time that I have experienced the 'blow off' dump with somebody I have dated more than just once or twice. Were the shoe on the other foot, I couldn't imagine not having 'the talk' with her. It just strikes me as disrespectful not to have the common courtesy to have that discussion. Who knows, maybe she will call eventually. Oh well, time to move on I guess ... I got the blow off dump after an intense, or what I would consider intense, 2 month relationship. It's the worst kind leaving you thinking, how could they just disappear, I didn't even see it coming. Some people are just crappy like that. I even have friends that do that. Personally, I don't understand it. Clearly you're a more respectful and mature person than she is. Let it go, you don't want to be with someone like that anyway.
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