Bizarre message from the Universe

[UniverseInMe]

I’ve had a very bizarre and nearly impossible situation happened to me concerning my ex. I broke up with her 3 years ago and I’m still not over her. I’ve thought about her everyday since our breakup and still pine for her obsessively, reasons I won’t get into due to length. The thing is the ending was messy, mostly my fault and because of which she wants nothing to do with me. And no, I didn’t cheat on her. She's thrown several pathetic breadcrumbs my way over the past 3 years and me like an idiot I fell for all of them. Only this time I feel she really is gone and is in a new relationship because I just feel it in my gut.

 

In the last week I truly hit rock bottom man. I mean I was absolutely beside myself. And even though I have other things going on in my life that contributed to my depression, it was mainly my ex not being in my life which caused my rock bottom to occur.

 

Anyway, I went to an empty parking lot yesterday and just cried like a little girl. I was so incredibly sad for myself and how things came to this. I never felt so lonely and empty in my life. It was scary, tbh. But I knew I was in a situation that if I didn’t change right there and then I was going to die. And I don’t want to die. I want to live. I wanted to be happy and free like I was before I met her. And so I decided that day that I was going to choose to not be so incredibly cynical and hopeless about life because I had lost almost all hope for myself. Basically I choose happiness and hope because I wanted to allow amazing things to happen to me and that I deserved it.

 

The truth is I’m hung up on my ex because I’m incredibly lonely at my age of 44. I have no friends anymore and don’t have a social life at all, anyway, this is a whole other story. That decision to be hopeful and not so hardcore cynical came from the deepest part of my soul and I meant it because I felt that my negative energy was keeping positive things from happening to me which is why everyday felt like a miserable groundhogs day. And so I made that decision and was ready for a fresh start.

 

I felt incredibly relieved leaving that parking lot and dare I say, happy. I knew I still had a lot of work ahead and that things weren’t going to be so easy but the fact that I chose a positive direction made me feeling happy and hopeful. I also knew that I was going to continue to think about my ex, only this time I was hopeful that in due time I would finally be able to freely move on now that I was open to new and happy things entering my life.

 

Then, it happened…

 

The very NEXT morning I hop on my computer like I normally do in the morning and go on youtube. Keep in mind youtube has millions, upon millions of videos so I view random stuff regularly. I was about 3 to 4 videos in when I noticed a random recommendation for a cute video about this momma duck leading her half-dozen baby ducks through a Home Depot. So I click the video and low and behold the very beginning of the video where the ducks where about to enter the Home Depot, who do I see!?!? MY EX!!!! Right there in front of me, in a random doggone youtube video I’m seeing my ex talking for a few seconds as she watches the ducks walking into the Home Depot from a video uploaded in 2015, coincidentally was the year we met. She was in the video for about 5 seconds but I’ll tell ya my jaw literally dropped and my heart just sank. I mean I literally thought I was in the twilight zone.

 

How is this possible? What in the hell are the odds of this happening!?!? I thought of every scenario that could’ve sparked this unbelievably slim chance of spotting her in a random youtube video and I couldn’t think of one. The odds are almost impossible because for one thing it wasn’t like I was following her youtube channel or anything because she doesn't have one, plus, she’s totally not into recording herself, or pictures, in fact, she HATES taking pictures of herself or people taking pictures of her, especially video. This video was recorded by a random dude who I have no clue who he is and who has no idea who my ex is. She was just there, random!

 

To say I was in disbelief is an absolute understatement. The whole day I was an absolute ghost. Here I was thinking I was starting a positive albeit tough, but hope filled life, and THIS happens. The very NEXT day. I mean what the hell?!?!

 

All I kept thinking to myself was “Why Universe? Why? Why would you do this to me? You know how much that would hurt me and set me back, why? If you don’t want me with her and I had decided that I was going to move on and be happy without her, why show her in the first place? What was the point? I learned my lesson, I’ve cried countless times, thought of never, ever doing the dumb things with her to the next love of my life, ever. I promised I was going to be the best version of myself, so why!?!? WHY!!!!!!!!??????”

 

And I’ll tell ya, I was so depressed because I just couldn’t get over that this was just some coincidence because it wasn’t. It was a near impossibility of it ever, EVER happening so this was the Universe definitely saying something to me and yet I don’t understand what and more importantly, why? And remember, just the day before I had decided that I wasn’t going to be cynical anymore because things have happened where I felt the Universe was trying to tell me something but I would always dismiss it because I’m a very logical person and felt almost everything was coincidence. But this... this was different. My logical mind immediately kicked in and calculated the odds of this happening and I’ll tell ya, impossible, not totally impossible but very impossible.

 

The Universe unanimously made the decision to show me this video on purpose. Now, do I think it was for mean reasons? No. Perhaps another lesson for me? It would have to be. But why like this? Why set me back? All it did was make me yearn for her more. She looked so beautiful in the video too. How is this fair to me? I understand we aren’t meant to be and if that’s the case why keep me attached to her like this? Why have me start all over again from healing when I’ve been through so much in the last 3 years? It just breaks my heart knowing the Universe has done this, even though my hopeful side is saying “It’s for a good reason.” But to be honest, I can’t find any reason why it would be good. But then again I’m not the Universe so what do I know.

 

To be honest it’s been 15 hours since I saw that video and I’m still in shock because I just can’t believe what happened. Can anyone shed some light on this please? What does this all mean? Why would the Universe show me her so deliberately when what I had decided the day before was to move on and be as happy and hopeful as I can possibly be without her? I’m not a bad person. Sure, I’m nowhere close to Saint but this video I did NOT deserve man. It broke me up really bad. All it did was make me miss her more and how much I love her. She looked so beautiful too. Dam, sorry, Anyway, your advice would mean a lot.

 

Thank you:)

[central]

It means nothing - it's a coincidence, although an unlikely one. If you want to attribute some meaning to it, that's up to you. I've had some bizarre series of coincidences occur, yet they really don't mean anything. Still, they're good story material!

[preraph]

I would call it Jungian, and I've had stuff like that happen, and all I can tell you is the very fact that it happens doesn't portend anything tangible happening. Maybe you have a spirit who puts this stuff in front of you and maybe they were tuned out when you finally had your epiphany to choose to stop being miserable. I don't believe spirits are all knowing, not in our timeline anyway.

 

Look, you've chosen to stop being miserable, and yes, it IS totally within your control. You just have to want to. When you get tired of being miserable, you'll choose to just stop, and you can.

 

So it's a little setback, but it's not anything you can't get past. You can keep your memories and take your love with you and give it to someone else when you feel like it. It's not lost forever. You get to keep that much.

 

Go forward and take that chain off and be happy.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Maybe you were being tested to see if you actually "meant it" (to stop being miserable). I'm not sure you passed.

[UniverseInMe]

I would call it Jungian, and I've had stuff like that happen, and all I can tell you is the very fact that it happens doesn't portend anything tangible happening. Maybe you have a spirit who puts this stuff in front of you and maybe they were tuned out when you finally had your epiphany to choose to stop being miserable. I don't believe spirits are all knowing, not in our timeline anyway.

 

Look, you've chosen to stop being miserable, and yes, it IS totally within your control. You just have to want to. When you get tired of being miserable, you'll choose to just stop, and you can.

 

So it's a little setback, but it's not anything you can't get past. You can keep your memories and take your love with you and give it to someone else when you feel like it. It's not lost forever. You get to keep that much.

 

Go forward and take that chain off and be happy.

 

Thank you for your reply and you pointed out important things but this video was just too strange. Like I said I'm a very logical person and most of the bizarre stuff that happen to me I almost always dismiss it as coincidence, but this...this was different. I just feel it in my spirit. The odds were so dam impossible of it happening that I cant just dismiss it as just coincidence. Maybe I'm so attached to her that I want meaning behind it but tbh, I'm so confused and messed up from it that I think I'm making this into something it isnt. I dunno. I'm just so confused now.

 

Now, heres the thing. Another odd situation happened about a month ago. Again, this was incredibly bizarre, not as bizarre as me seeing my ex in a random YouTube video but still pretty bizarre.

 

So a month ago I matched with a woman on Bumble. She does live near me. We spoke on the phone and hit it off. Now I've never met her in person but obviously I've seen her pictures. Anyway, for the next 2 or 3 days after our conversation over the phone we texted here and there and I eventually knew I was going to ask her out. So now I'm driving back from work and during which we briefly checked in with one another. I decided that I was going to go to the market and buy a wedding card for my nephew who's about to get married. I gotta be honest I looked like crap. I was dressed like a hobo, unshaven, probably smelly too, so I was nowhere close to looking my best. In fact I was embarrassed of my presentation when in public so I make sure to keep to myself and not make direct eye contact.

 

So standing in front of all the wedding cards I'm reading to see which one I'm going to choose when I suddenly hear a young child behind me being somewhat loud. I quickly look and make eye contact with the kid. Then I hear another kid who looked to be her slightly older brother. I look to him then following both of them was what looked to be their mom. She snaps her fingers at them to cool it and does something which I didnt pay much attention too. I hardly looked at her long enough because again I was embarrassed of my appearance so I grabbed the card I wanted, went through the check out and to my car.

 

Once I got to my car I thought to myself "let me shoot her a quick text" because again I was working up to asking her out. So instead I reply to her "hey you, leaving Ralph's, I'll message you in a bit." She replies with "I'm at Ralph's too, lol." And my heart sank because i put 2 and 2 together and thought "omg, that lady in the isle I was in was her." Because she has 2 kids and even though I didnt see her fully I knew it was her because from what information of her appearance I did gather matched her photos and she lives pretty close to me and that Ralphs is the only one in that vicinity. And keep in mind I live in a very busy city bustling with cars and people who have many options for shopping.

 

Needless to say I was so embarrassed. I knew if she too put 2 and 2 together that that was me in that isle she would immediately dismiss me because i looked so bad. And sure enough, she did. I messaged her later a couple times and she hardly replied. Her whole energy towards me changed. That's when I knew it was done before it even started, lol.

 

Now, could this have been coincidence? Sure. But common, so much could've gone another way and yet everything worked to put us literally a few feet apart. I mean coincidence would've been her saying, "ya, I was there an hour ago" or "I was there too just now" but we somehow missed each other because she was in another isle. No. We were suddenly feet apart. This to me was almost a sign from the Universe to say "you guys aren't meant for each other so sorry dude but I'm going to use your ugly appearance to get her to stop chatting with you."

 

I mean just to many odd coincidences have been happening to me and so far none have worked in my favor. Almost as if the Universe wants me to fail, or look bad, even though my hopeful side is saying "no, it could mean something positive could be coming my way." So I dunno. My logical mind keeps saying to all this "naaahhhh" but you can't tell me these two incredibly bizarre incidences can be a direct result of mere coincidence.

Edited June 7, 2019 by UniverseInMe

[preraph]

Well, I think in that case what happened is she might have wondered if you followed her to Ralph's and got creeped out, actually. Not about your dress.

 

You know, on that video you saw, I've noticed I get stuff I didn't ask for if it has someone on it I have elsewhere on my computer sometimes. You know, internet is very invasive, especially Google and Facebook. It might have seen a photo of her on your computer or in some communication and face matched her and sent it to you as something you'd be interested in. But I don't know how you ended up going there, so you'd know that. It's in legislation right now that those companies shouldn't be able to use facial recognition software for their own purposes.

[UniverseInMe]

Well, I think in that case what happened is she might have wondered if you followed her to Ralph's and got creeped out, actually. Not about your dress.

 

You know, on that video you saw, I've noticed I get stuff I didn't ask for if it has someone on it I have elsewhere on my computer sometimes. You know, internet is very invasive, especially Google and Facebook. It might have seen a photo of her on your computer or in some communication and face matched her and sent it to you as something you'd be interested in. But I don't know how you ended up going there, so you'd know that. It's in legislation right now that those companies shouldn't be able to use facial recognition software for their own purposes.

 

No, no. I didnt know she was going to be at Ralph's. In fact I mentioned it first to her.

 

And as far as my ex in the video being facially matched with me I doubt that. Why wouldn't it have matched me sooner when we were friends on Facebook. And why hasnt other videos of my family and friends who might have been linked on YouTube matched with me?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

We all have coincidences every day. Happens to me a lot. In fact, my sister and I are always saying to each other, "I had another Michelle moment today" (Michelle is our friend who has an extraordinary amount of coincidences). I have a ton of strange dreams that "come true." (And some I'm glad don't)

 

You are definitely reading too much into the grocery store thing. Your town can't be that big if you said "Ralph's" instead of "the Ralph's on First Avenue." (She also probably thought you recognized her and pretended you didn't with the message exchange you had).

 

The YouTube thing is definitely weird, but the Universe is not out to see you fail. I hate when people have this fatalistic way of thinking. Weird things happen and maybe you are supposed to learn some kind of message from it, I don't know. Think outside the box....outside of it being a sign that you're meant to be together....what else could it be?

[preraph]

No, about Ralph's, I didn't mean you followed her. I mean, it was some coincidence and I'm afraid she may have thought you did once she put it together you were also there.

 

You probably don't talk as much about or have as many photos of your family is my best guess.

[mark clemson]

I agree that the universe is not out to see you fail. If you're going to view this as a Jungian synchronicity (aka meaningful coincidence) then what sense does it make? I think you could view it as a sort of parting gift for your "old life" of pining for this person (who never likes photographs, so you probably don't have too many). DON'T let it set you back. Instead tuck the link away in your electronic equivalent of a shoebox for memories. In 10 years you'll have it to look back on (should you wish to).

 

In the meantime, continue the process you committed to of moving on and building a better life for yourself. You're probably a pretty decent person - maybe the universe doesn't want any more of you being wasted on pining for this person who doesn't want you back when you could be making someone else AND yourself genuinely happy?

 

The event prompted you to post here (appears to be your first post) so perhaps LS and the advice you can get here will be part of your journey.

 

My advice - you seem to have been stuck in long-term limerence for this person. Research limerence on Wikipedia to understand it. Then also understand that for most people it is a rarity - only happens 2 or 3, sometimes 4 or 5 times in a lifetime. Also your brain becomes adjusted to it (somewhat like drug tolerance). So, don't expect this same level of intensity in your next relationship. If it's a GOOD relationship that makes you and the other person happy then it's probably worth pursing. Much better than longing for an idealized memory of who someone who doesn't want you back.

 

Think the universe is perhaps congratulating you for your choice. Stick to your decision to move on so you'll have room mentally/emotionally for someone new and MUCH healthier in your life...

[preraph]

Since Jungian synchronicity, which I've had a lot of, has never seemed to portend anything, I have come to think it is more a signpost that I am moving in a good direction, and that could very well be the case here, that I have reached a needed milestone.

 

I've had the most Jungian experiences when I've got a lot of momentum moving towards a goal.

[emeraldgreen]

When you're highly depressed and lonely, you'll find signs in a slice of bread eventually. Stop ruminating. You're perpetuating the myth that you're meant to be with this person.

[Art_Critic]

How is this possible?

 

It wasn't random, it's called an algorithm. You have either followed each other or had done it in the past or watched each other videos, your past youtube watching is what provides those videos on your screen.

 

Nothing the universe is trying to get you to do.. you on the other hand are looking for any reason to contact her, stop it...

 

Just keep up the NC and go out with some dates with other people.. breakups suck.. it takes time to heal and get over it all.

[Beendaredonedat]

All I kept thinking to myself was “Why Universe? Why? Why would you do this to me?

and all I kept saying to myself while I was reading your opening post is why are you doing this to yourself?

 

You are never going to get over your ex or even get to the BLISSFUL stage of indifference to her if you keep her in your mind like you are doing and trying to spin a coincidence into some divine intervention sent to you from the Universe.

 

If you go on YouTube every morning (as you say you do) then the chances of you seeing someone you know, in this day and age of everyone wanting to be seen and heard are high.

 

Don't read into it any further like you are in your opening post... framing her in your mind like you are is stagnating you from moving on and finding happiness.

 

Zero contact, no accepting any crumbs of attention from her. Block and delete her from all social media and get yourself into therapy to help you out of your depression and obsessive thoughts of her.

 

Do it and honour your enlightenment that came to you that day you cried in the car.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

It wasn't random, it's called an algorithm. You have either followed each other or had done it in the past or watched each other videos, your past youtube watching is what provides those videos on your screen.

 

 

It's pretty crazy how all of this happens. It's downright creepy sometimes. Isn't YouTube, Google, Gmail, Facebook all owned by the same company now? So anything you Google or look up on Facebook gets entered into this "algorithm" and it's alllll connected. Maybe she either commented on that video at one point (even under an account name he doesn't know but with her regular IP address) or even just viewed it....who knows! The other day my daughter was speaking verbally to me about a certain (obscure) shopping website and 3 minutes later she got an advertisement for it in her Instagram feed. A couple of months ago I took a rusting chair from my back yard to the curb on trash day and came inside to that exact chair being in a Walmart advertisement on my Facebook feed!

[Beendaredonedat]

It's pretty crazy how all of this happens. It's downright creepy sometimes. Isn't YouTube, Google, Gmail, Facebook all owned by the same company now? So anything you Google or look up on Facebook gets entered into this "algorithm" and it's alllll connected. Maybe she either commented on that video at one point (even under an account name he doesn't know but with her regular IP address) or even just viewed it....who knows! The other day my daughter was speaking verbally to me about a certain (obscure) shopping website and 3 minutes later she got an advertisement for it in her Instagram feed. A couple of months ago I took a rusting chair from my back yard to the curb on trash day and came inside to that exact chair being in a Walmart advertisement on my Facebook feed!

 

Gah! Do you have a Smart Home set up or something where the device is picking up your conversations and computer/phone camera?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Gah! Do you have a Smart Home set up or something where the device is picking up your conversations and computer/phone camera?

 

No. I have Alexa in the kitchen (and none of our phones are connected to it.....at least not by us!), but that's it. No cameras anywhere. The chair thing was super weird because it was outside, I was home alone, and did not talk to anyone about it....it was kindof an afterthought when I was already outside with the dogs. So strange.

[mark clemson]

No. I have Alexa in the kitchen

 

LOL - think that would be enough. Major companies are Google (Alphabet), Apple, Facebook, Amazon, Microsoft. And of course there are the cable co's. Your phone tracks you, your internet activity, and your TV viewing (and probably also Pandora listening and similar) all get tracked. Not all the companies share everything but some definitely do sell your data to other ones.

 

So yeah.

 

That said, coincidences still happen. Did Youtube's algorithm determine that she's in that video and that OP has her email or similar? Certainly possible if Google's been using facial recognition software in it's Youtube video libraries and incorporating that info into its algorithm.

 

Then again it could be an unlikely coincidence. I've had some doozies happen so I tend to keep an open mind...

Edited June 9, 2019 by mark clemson

[mark clemson]

Further thought: it's an amazing time we live in if it all didn't have so much potential for abuse. Oh well...

[emeraldgreen]

Further thought: it's an amazing time we live in if it all didn't have so much potential for abuse. Oh well...

 

Our paranoia is finally fulfilling its potential!

[mark clemson]

Well, right now it's greed, at least in western countries. But think the time for exploitation by the Kim Jong Un's of the work will come soon enough, sadly.

 

And yes, you can bet our gov't (and most gov'ts big enough to have the ability) do data mine all this data for security purposes. They have 9/11s to worry about (and school shootings HAVE been stopped by Facebook posts).

 

May you live in interesting times...

[spiderowl]

Yes that was bizarre but sometimes weird things happen. Quite often they have no meaning at all. Even the most incredible coincidences prove to mean nothing. They just happened.

 

What strikes me most about your post is how stuck on your ex you are. Most people would have found a way to move on by now but you have been struggling with this. I wonder why you have struggled so much? Surely you cannot believe that she is this perfect woman when she has left? That action alone disqualifies her from wasting your time.

 

She is not the person you thought she was. For some reason, you have appointed her judge and jury over you. You are a decent person who just happened to end up with someone who ultimately felt you were both incompatible. You are still a decent person.