Would you date someone with acne scars

[trippywonderland]

Kids are great for this sort of thing aren’t they? I have 2 children and like any parent’s probably experienced,I’ve had very direct questions/ observations about people’s hair, clothes, skin colour, weight etc, usually when that person is standing right in front of us!! ( eg “ mummy why has that person got no hair”?)

 

Thank you, this was very nice to read. And I agree, I've heard kids make observations about anything and anyone who's different than they are, so I'm probably taking it too serious.

Edited June 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[JuneL]

He's too nice and the women he's been with were horrible and using him. I think he's probably with me because I'm the first woman who appreciates him and is nice back, so he probably convinced himself the scars are ok

 

Do you think he can meet a nice woman who appreciates him and has no scars? If yes, would you want him to leave you to go for such a woman? If not, would you feel insulted he’s with you only because he has no better options? I’m just trying to understand your logic, as you disagreed with most replies.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I said no acne/scars advice for a reason!

You people who aren't acne/scars sufferers think it's so easy and that we aren't aware of the "help" that's out there. There is a huge different between fixing a teenagers scars and a 30 years old woman who has a medical condition! You really think I'm not aware of what is out there? I have done 4 laser resurfacings, 8 microneedling sessions, 3 subcisions with fillers - 20% improvement for a total of around 5000 dollars and I still have a debt I'm paying off for the loan I took to do all that. I've been on 3 accutane rounds and acne comes back but the hair I lost during it never grew back as thick and nice. 3 years on Spironolactone, discontinued due to potassium overload in my blood, 6+ years on birth control, antibiotics doesn't help hormonal acne and I've done several rounds as a teen, which made my digestion hell. I eat gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, low hystamine, anti-inflammatory diet and don't allow myself any "fun" foods - others eat ice cream? Pizza? Chips? Sushi? Nothing of that sort for me! Different topicals, serums, washes... And to have someone say "oh, but there are ways to have perfect skin, did you hear about..." Oh yes, I heard, I tried, and it didn't work!

 

Big, big hugs to you! I totally empathize with the frustration over unsolicited advice. I have a friend whose daughter is going on 2.5 years with a debilitating/disabling migraine and I cringe whenever anyone offers advice like "acupuncture" or "botox" or "diet change." If they only knew the lengths these folks have already gone to..... If I hear of something completely "weird" (like the woman who finally got rid of her migraines by having a baby) I'll tell her about it....otherwise, I keep my mouth shut and just have compassion. It's a bit insulting to intelligent folks to suggest they haven't tried absolutely everything already.

[Shining One]

But women are more forgiving to men's flaws. There is even a saying, that scars look good on men. No such saying about women.

Small women are attractive. What do they say about small men?

 

Both men and women can be selective about physical attributes. Yes, men tend to be more selective about facial skin quality than women. However, not all men are, and you seem to have found one. I've dated women with acne scars. While I've certainly noticed them, it wasn't a deal-breaker for me.

[preraph]

^ Yes, but if they come to a forum like this, you have no idea if they ARE intelligent or not. Like I said earlier, a whole lot of people have been on here with scar and acne problems who didn't even know about dermatological treatments, and she said nothing about that in her original post. So no one deserves being called out about it.

[central]

I would. I have acne scars, and no doubt I have been rejected by some women because of it. On the other hand, I've never lacked for wonderful dates and sexual partners, so for most people it's not a big deal. Thankfully, shallow is not a universal trait.

[Foxhall]

It would not be an issue for me, I have met some very pretty ladies who had acne conditions,

 

I am a believer in herbal treatments so perhaps try a herbalist consultation if you have not already done so and reduce your sugar intake.

[malaiyas]

As a fellow female acne scar sufferer, I really feel for you. It’s probably my biggest insecurity, and unfortunately, it’s right out there for the world to see.

 

I remember going on a first date with a man back in December who kept sparing glances at the area near my mouth, right where it’s worst. I chose to ignore it though I noticed it, and it did make me self conscious, but the date was lovely in spite of that. We didn’t go out again. I don’t know if that was why, but it could have been.

 

That was the only instance where it ever presented a potential problem for me, though. I’ve had a robust dating life in the periods where I’ve been interested to pursue that. I do think about it, I do worry about it… but I think when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we tend to focus on our flaws. Others don’t do this.

 

I know how it sucks to look at your skin in harsh lighting and think, “wow, that looks horrible.” A close friend of mine has quite prominent scarring, too, and she’s been in a relationship for the last three years. Prior to that relationship, she had a very active dating life, too.

 

I really think it all boils down to whether or not you project confidence. When I go on dates, I’m always warm, easy to talk to with great energy. I don’t think about my skin unless I notice them looking at it, as described before. Some will notice and not want to date you because of it… but I haven’t personally found this to be a prominent issue.

 

I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to worry about it. If your boyfriend is with you, he knows the scarring is there and he accepts it! Try not to stress about this. He knows what you look like and he likes it just fine.

[Poutrew]

This post reminds me of a boy I used to know in high school a million years ago. His nick name was toad (hey, what can I say? There was no such thing as 'PC' amongst teenage boys in the 1970's) because his face was loaded with acne scars, white heads, black heads and you name it. Sometimes the pus would be literally running down his face from a pus filled pimple he had scratched open... Well, one day he came to school and introduced us all to his girlfriend. Our collective jaws dropped because she was a stunner. And, she had no problem kissing that face of his - even when it was dripping pus, which she just wiped off after she had kissed him on an open sore and the stuff came off on her lips... That boy taught me a valuable lesson. There is literally someone for everyone on this planet if you look hard enough.

[mortensorchid]

Have you tried a dermatologist to see if they can recommend something for the acne you have now? Either prescription or over the counter meds (oral or topical)? We all get a breakout once in a while no matter how old we are or are not, but if this is ongoing and if you've had it since your teenage years and it hasn't stopped, then maybe there's something that can be done. I am shocked to see people around me now, people don't have acne anymore, not even teenagers. There are so many products out there that it's really cleared up everyone's skin in general.

 

As for the scars you already have, surely makeup can cover that up enough for the women. Guys may have to take advantage of that as well if it's bad. Or perhaps some plastic surgery option for removing the scars or at least diminish them?

 

If these are not options, then you have to just be okay with certain things. We all have imperfections and things we're insecure about. I for one am sad about my legs - they're bigger than the rest of me. No amount of working out will make them dainty or shapely. My legs are solid like tree trunks, hence I got the nickname Cankles from a less than diplomatic person. Some said there's a positive to this - I can kick better than they can. Should I need to kick something, of course.

 

You must look in the mirror and say "I'm not ugly". Easier said than done, of course, but ... That's all you can do at this point.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I said no acne/scars advice for a reason!

You people who aren't acne/scars sufferers think it's so easy and that we aren't aware of the "help" that's out there. There is a huge different between fixing a teenagers scars and a 30 years old woman who has a medical condition! You really think I'm not aware of what is out there? I have done 4 laser resurfacings, 8 microneedling sessions, 3 subcisions with fillers - 20% improvement for a total of around 5000 dollars and I still have a debt I'm paying off for the loan I took to do all that. I've been on 3 accutane rounds and acne comes back but the hair I lost during it never grew back as thick and nice. 3 years on Spironolactone, discontinued due to potassium overload in my blood, 6+ years on birth control, antibiotics doesn't help hormonal acne and I've done several rounds as a teen, which made my digestion hell. I eat gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, low hystamine, anti-inflammatory diet and don't allow myself any "fun" foods - others eat ice cream? Pizza? Chips? Sushi? Nothing of that sort for me! Different topicals, serums, washes... And to have someone say "oh, but there are ways to have perfect skin, did you hear about..." Oh yes, I heard, I tried, and it didn't work!

 

I am so sorry, trippywonderland! I missed the part where you said no acne/scars advice! Or, maybe I didn't miss it but by the time I posted forgot it!

 

You have been through so much! I will refrain from making suggestions you haven't mentioned in your post as it seems you've heard more than enough!

[Sunlight72]

Hi trippywonderland - to answer your original question - yes, I would date a woman with acne scars, it really doesn't matter. In fact I had a good relationship with such a woman (she is 30 years old), and I asked her to marry me. She decided she did not want to get married - but the acne scars were not any issue to me. She is quite a beautiful woman and I was proud to be with her.

[guest569]

Small women are attractive. What do they say about small men?

 

Both men and women can be selective about physical attributes. Yes, men tend to be more selective about facial skin quality than women. However, not all men are, and you seem to have found one. I've dated women with acne scars. While I've certainly noticed them, it wasn't a deal-breaker for me.

 

Dude, women are expected to be stunning and immaculate from head to toe while men can be scruffy as. Don't pretend it's all balanced out. What they say about small men is nothing compared to what they say about large women. Just look around these forums.