Jump to content

First text from guy at 7 am - dealbreaker nor not?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Met a guy on a dating website, after a few messages exchanged phone numbers. I got a text from him at seven in the morning. Would you consider it a sign of someone who is disrespectful or inconsiderate? Or should I not get my panties tied in a wad over this?

Posted

I'd just keep my phone turned off recharging until I woke up in the morning. But it would be a red flag to me not of his character but that we are on very different schedules, and I hate morning people around me in the morning!!

 

When me and my old flame started emailing after I hadn't seen him for 25 years, he would do it at five in the morning. He is one of those who doesn't sleep much.

Posted

He may just be on a different schedule than you, I wouldn't put much stock in it until you meet him.

  • Like 3
Posted

Why would this be disrespectful? I have many friends living in completely different time zones. If you don’t want to hear the notification tone, just turn your phone to mute before going to bed.

 

It’s not like he expects you to reply right away.

Posted

Ah, no. He wasn't pounding on your door to wake you up. If you don't want a text to wake you up at 7AM, keep the phone on silent. Also, don't get a puppy if you want to sleep past 7AM....but I digress. *yawn*

  • Like 4
Posted

lol no panties in a wad...yet...You don't have enough information. Maybe he is excited about you AND a cool person. Maybe he is overeager and not such a cool person or the right one for you. Maybe he's got his career & life together where it's reflected in his schedule that way. A lot of busy, together people are up early and on the move :) Keep your eyes open for the overeager/desperate part of him--because I'm guessing you also would like a guy who is socially aware this is treading into territory where is might be suspect to some girls so cool guys wouldn't normally do it. Or they might be IDGAF and do what they want which is kind of cool in itself. So yeah wait it out a bit. Good luck

Posted

Err..what? What's the big deal, if any deal sending a text at 7am?

Posted (edited)

The flip side . . . why didn't he text me? He doesn't like me enough? :) Perhaps, she's not that into him, otherwise, she would have been excited that he texted even in the morning. Lot's of people send good morning texts if they are dating and/or in a relationship and before work, etc.

Edited by Redhead14
  • Like 2
Posted

Did you tell him not to bother you before 7am and he did it anyway? That would be disrespect.

 

I don't see any disrespect.

 

I do see someone disinterested and looking for an excuse.

  • Like 5
Posted

How is this disrespectful? He's thinking of you first thing in the morning. This is a good thing.

  • Like 2
Posted
Ah, no. He wasn't pounding on your door to wake you up. If you don't want a text to wake you up at 7AM, keep the phone on silent. Also, don't get a puppy if you want to sleep past 7AM....but I digress. *yawn*

 

 

What kind of puppy?! They are so fun.

  • Like 1
Posted
What kind of puppy?! They are so fun.

 

Border collie :)

  • Like 1
Posted

Why would you interpret this as disrespectful, OP?

 

I don't get it.

  • Like 1
Posted

Before cell phones there used to be a rule that my mother taught me -- unless you have been instructed to do so, you never make a social call before 10 a.m. or after 9 p.m. People don't respect unspoken boundaries any more & there is no concept of being off the clock.

 

In this case, OP, the guy was probably up & you were on his mind. That is a good thing.

 

If you don't want 7 a.m. texts tell him that & tell him what are good times to reach out. If he respects those boundaries, let this mistake slide.

  • Like 2
Posted

But sending you a text or emailing you is different from ringing your phone to wake you up. In fact, the unwritten rule in this time and age is to text to schedule a call. Calling up someone unannounced is similar to showing up at someone’s place unannounced.

Posted

7 am during the week? Why would that be weird? I am up before 530 am during the week anyways that tells me he probably has a job. Now if he texts at 1 am yes dealbreaker and weird.

  • Like 1
Posted
Now if he texts at 1 am yes dealbreaker and weird.

 

I'm not much of a texter so maybe I'm unaware of some of the etiquette, and I get how that may be a little weird, but as long as he's okay with not getting a reply until later in the day, how is that a deal-breaker?

  • Like 3
Posted

Don't worry about it. I don't think he did it to disrespect you. Most people don't do that to people they're talking to. He may just be a morning person, maybe in a different time zone, or just wasn't thinking.

  • Like 1
Posted

I'm old school then.

 

I would wait til after 8am at least. 7am is weird. Unless you know the person and know they're likely awake. I don't like people to text at 11pm,2am,6am. I wasn't aware that I was in the minority.

  • Like 1
Posted

Not a dealbreaker...

 

Though i live in a foreign country to many of my friends and family so timezone differences mean people are texting me all through the night.. my phone is on silent.

Posted
I'm old school then.

 

I would wait til after 8am at least. 7am is weird. Unless you know the person and know they're likely awake. I don't like people to text at 11pm,2am,6am. I wasn't aware that I was in the minority.

 

7AM is not that early, though! Most adults are awake by then on a weekday, aren't they? I mean, unless they have jobs that aren't traditional hours. And I guess if this guy knew she didn't have a traditional job it might be weird, I don't know.

Posted

I only think it's overeager and kind of pushy because they don't really know each other. They are strangers at this point. Would I say it's a deal breaker? Not really, unless she was inclined or headed that way already.

 

If we could pass on a message to her guy: his game needs improvement. Just not the best time to text if you want a conversation to happen & be a good one.

Posted

OK, I see the point that it's a bit socially awkward, in the texting manners realm. I would NEVER text anybody that early unless we were very close and I had a good reason to. The proper thing to do is wait till 9:00 or 10:00 am to text.

 

However, even I, in my notorious pickiness, think this is not a big deal and you should let it go, give the guy a chance. If his manners are questionable in other areas, it's a concern. But personally, I don't mind a little rough around the edges and don't think it's a big deal.

  • Like 1
Posted
I only think it's overeager and kind of pushy because they don't really know each other. They are strangers at this point. Would I say it's a deal breaker? Not really, unless she was inclined or headed that way already.

 

If we could pass on a message to her guy: his game needs improvement. Just not the best time to text if you want a conversation to happen & be a good one.

 

I disagree with this one. Maybe that’s the only time he can have a free few minutes to text leisurely (while sipping his pour over, say) in the morning. He might just expect her to reply slowly, when she’s taking the subway to work a couple hours later, and he can text back during his lunch break, for example. Many people don’t expect to have a real-time convo over text.

  • Like 1
×
×
  • Create New...