Author whatwhit Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 You're right. But it should grant respect and honesty. Esp. when both parties have invested a lot of time.
smackie9 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 You have to choose more wisely, and be wise to the bs they fill your head with.On your last thread everyone knew that newly divorced men should be off anyone's list. They are not relationship material. 1
smackie9 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 You're right. But it should grant respect and honesty. Esp. when both parties have invested a lot of time. You may think that, but what it does is set you up for being taken advantage of. You see this when it's not being reciprocated. A lot of people make the mistake of trying harder and doing more to earn respect and honesty when they should be kicking them to the curb. 1
Author whatwhit Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 Yep. well that was pretty much the last straw for me. Probably a blessing in disguise otherwise i would've kept chasing. Still want to hear stories from men though on this topic. 1
smackie9 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 I don't think too many want to admit they have wronged, cheated on or took advantage of some girl they dated lol.
PegNosePete Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 (edited) He told me that he wasn't ready for serious. Well eh, you should have believed him. If you're looking for serious then you should have moved on as soon as he said that. He told you right from the start that he's just looking for casual so I don't see what he did wrong here? When someone says they don't want anything serious you should assume they are seeing others. He lied to spare your feelings and maybe keep you coming back for more, but he said right from the start that it's not a relationship and never will be so I don't see how he's responsible for your emotional attachment... Edited June 6, 2019 by PegNosePete 1
Versacehottie Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 You're right. But it should grant respect and honesty. Esp. when both parties have invested a lot of time. I say this all the time: what people "should" do and what they DO do are differently things. That's why it's on you to advocate for yourself and make the best possible decisions you can. Stack the deck in your own favor and protect and make a person reach little stop gates before you allow them more into your life. Not to make light of your situation, but i wouldn't have "invested" or considered a guy in his situation an investment YET. Too soon, his situation is murky based on divorce recency alone and playing boyfriend/girlfriend does not make it so. Lastly without a commitment, backed up with actions, he's likely to just think you wanted too much & are being dramatic, i.e. no regret because his actions are that he is not ready for a relationship and wants to spread his wings. So he will justify it by saying you're nuts or overreacted IMO. 1
olivetree Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 It sounds like you're wondering if this guy is going to regret lying to you. My guess is no, because he wasn't invested to begin with. This was a casual relationship, and he clearly wasn't all in. Good for you for walking away from a liar. Btw, I wouldn't cook dinner for a man that wasn't my bf yet. 2
Orokotikki Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 I am guy, and would like to respond but don't understand his mindset at all (see the "Monogamy, anyone" thread). How much of what you 'know' about his divorce came only from him (or his friends)? Maybe what you saw is exactly who he really is. (A liar). 1
elaine567 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 You're right. But it should grant respect and honesty. Esp. when both parties have invested a lot of time. YOU invested your time, your energy, your emotions, he invested nothing He wasn't looking for serious, he was looking for casual sex and he got it. You can't make bfs out of guys who tell you they are not ready to give up chasing women... 2
kendahke Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 You're right. But it should grant respect and honesty. Esp. when both parties have invested a lot of time. shoulda woulda coulda, OP. You assumed he esteemed his investment the exact same way you did. He doesn't--or didn't. You were investing while he was marking time. Chances are, he didn't respect you enough to be honest with you. 3
Gretchen12 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Some men have no problem lying to women even when they would not lie to other men. It's kind of like how most people don't feel very guilty saying some stupid untruth to the pet hamster, because the difference in intelligence is too great. In the same way, some men would tell women whatever because they don't consider women to be their peers so in their minds it's almost not lying. 1
preraph Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Even serial cheaters regret getting caught. Why? Because their goal was to keep more than one woman to have sex with, not that they feel bad about hurting one. Actions speak. Words are cheap. 2
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