Garcon1986 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 I'm writing this as an FYI post to bring up all the men who may be new to the dating game. I met a Vietnamese lady on Bumble who claims she is a pharmacist. She seemed agreeable, but when I pushed for a date, she repeatedly said she was unavailable - and I quickly found out that she recently got out of an 8 year relationship. The reason she gave for being unavailable is because she was on vacation every weekend or on a retreat out of the city. This is difficult to believe that a new pharmacist has enough income for an airplane ride every single week. She finally agreed to a phonecall after much texting - which in fact was quite pleasant. Lads if you are reading this - don't tie yourself too much to a woman you never met and push her when in fact she's still not over her ex. It sadly took me too many failures to realize this lesson - but don't dedicate yourself to someone who isn't emotionally healed yet. On to the next challenge. 1
snowboy91 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Garcon I'm not sure what your post has to do with "body language" as per the title - from the sound of it you never saw her in person! You do make a really good point though - if someone is flaky like that you can expect them to be flaky while dating them. Or if they are legitimately busy a lot, then they will be legitimately busy when you are dating them and possibly not have time for you. Not worth it IMO.
JuneL Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 This sounds more like a boundaries issue than a body language issue. If she already declined meeting up a couple of times without giving you her alternative/available dates, I’m not sure why you would entertain the idea of a phone call. What’s up with chatting with people on a dating site if you’re not ready to date again? 1
The Outlaw Posted June 7, 2019 Posted June 7, 2019 Sounds like she's just keeping her options open to the possibility of dating in the future at this point.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 12, 2019 Posted June 12, 2019 Sorry to hear of this Garcon. But you're right ... I would say your story reinforces the importance of meeting the person. Texting reveals nothing. Phone calls even aren't that helpful. Text to set up a meeting and then meet. If the other person isn't available, we want to drop them and move to the next person. We do not (male or female) want to spend a lot of time texting ... with the assumption that we are really conversing and getting to know each other. Texting is fun and interesting ... but it's so low-commitment ... and it just doesn't mirror real human in-person communication (maybe it will in the future with some developments). Heck I was at a conference last year (on a subject not related to dating) ... and one key point was the importance of voice to human connection. And ... the importance of really hearing that voice with a real person, a real face. I think texting can work for couples that are already together ... and one is overseas or so on ... But texting completely misleads people when it comes to dating. Half the texters are doing so to fill time and procrastinate ... to play-act meeting someone.
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