heartnsoul Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 Ever have a dream just as things are looking up and feel set back again? I've been on the upswing on healing lately and woke up this morning feeling sad and defeated yet again. I haven't spoken to my ex since the end of July and one would think that after the way he left me I would be glad he was gone. However, as much as I believe that his leaving was really a favor in disguise, I'm feeling crappy today. I gave too much of myself too soon with him and apparently my efforts were in vein. He drank daily in order to 'self medicate' and was in constant need of reassurance that I wasn't going to leave him. Red flags were in abundance! I'm angry at myself right now! Self defeating? Yes. Has anyone felt this way? If so, how did you cope?
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 I have alway's found that I dream about the things that are on my mind before I go to bed. If you are dreaming about the ex it most likely is because he is what is on your mind before going to sleep. Try and fill your mind with other issues in your life. He doesn't deserve the time and thoughts you are giving him.
Author heartnsoul Posted September 24, 2005 Author Posted September 24, 2005 You are right art. I know part of my upswing was me telling myself before going to be that I was going to be OK. He isn't worth the tourment I'm putting myself thru and that's where some of this anger is coming from. Mind over matter? One would think so. However, I'm allowing my mind to get the better of me right now. It's the weekends that kill me. I am somewhat of a recluse and that leaves wayyy too much time to mull over things that aren't healthy for me. I haven't been one to surround myself with loads of friends since I was younger and my family are thousands of miles away from me. Man, I'm having a real pitty party over here! lol Someone smack me, please!! I know that I will overcome this but in the interim...how do I drag myself out of this??
JS17 Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 H&S...I think that me, you, and GG have all gone through similar experiences. My break up was back in the beginning of the year so I have a bit of a jump on you. I DEFINITELY had the dreams. The slowed down quite a bit over time. Every once in a while I still have one and it's a huge setback, they're the absolute worst. I had one a couple of weeks ago and posted about it but can't seem to find the thread. I was a total mess. The next day I started to feel better and by the end of the week all of the bad feelings/setback was gone. I realized that it was from some unresolved issues. Mine was feeling shame for loving someone who didn't love me back. Since I resolved that I haven't had a dream and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have one again. It totally sucks! You feel like you can stop yourself from thinking about them when you're awake but you have no control over your dreams. Someone actually recommended going to sleep to naturesounds (a cd) which seemed pretty cool. Try thinking about what unresolved issues you have around the ending of the relationship...just a suggestion b/c it's what helped me. Also, keep yourself busy. The weekends are hard. I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to take care of the things that I need to do around the apartment so I'm stuck in today and I can already see how much tougher it makes things not being able to get out and about. Edit: Found the thread (middle of the second page I talk about the dream) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=70076&page=2
Author heartnsoul Posted September 24, 2005 Author Posted September 24, 2005 JS17....I'm sorry that you actually KNOW for fact that he's seeing someone else! I've been blessed with ignorance. I have no clue as to whether or not he's seeing someone else. Dreams are definitely an emotional set back. Our subconscious (or not so 'sub') seems to mess with us in our sleep and it sucks!! I actually spent last Friday with an ex whom at one point I was pinging over and came to the same realization as you lol The meeting put that whole situation into perspective for me. I could actually be around him and not have any emotional hurt. It was nice. It's a good feeling almost because you know at one point you'll be able to look back on your most recent disappointment and know that one day it'll be regarded with the same emotion. Hope that made sense lol We always hear "That in which doesn't kill us can only make us stronger" Well, It's true. I'm 31 and this isn't my first break up but putting old relationships to rest is truly IMO something that never gets easier. I guess it's all a part of lifes valuable lessons. Finding that 'inner' peace can sometimes seem illusive.
lynnered Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 heartnsoul, I am sorry U are going through this, Im in day 16 of NC , and i sometimes will dream of my 1st boyfriend when im going through a bad time in a relationship ,he wasnt good to me actully he was abusive ,but whenever i break up or stop talking to a guy i like, here comes the dreams. i had one last night , i went to a site to look up meaning of dreams Old To see something old in your dream, suggests that there is something in your life that you need to replace or get rid of. People To see people you know in your dream, signifies qualities and feelings of those people that you desire for yourself. To see people you don't know in your dream, denotes hidden aspects of yourself that you need to confront. To see people from your past in your dream, refers to your shadow and other unacknowledged aspects of yourself. It can represent a waking situation that is bringing out similar feelings as your past relationships sex To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate, denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself or currently feel a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together. i dont know what exactly Ur dream was like but i found this cool website i can PM U if U want . itll get better Penis To see a penis in your dream, signifies sexual energy, power and fertility. To see an exceptionally large penis, suggests doubts and anxieties about your sexual drive and libido:lmao:
Author heartnsoul Posted September 24, 2005 Author Posted September 24, 2005 I can only remember the feeling I felt this morning. I can't even remember the specifics of my dreams. The feeling that's most dominate right now is this feeling of having been robbed.....blind sided even. Having had someone come into my life so intensely then leaving almost with that same intensity. It's mind boggling. I almost wish my dreams included penis(s)! Don't think I've ever been blessed with such a dream
lynnered Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 Robbery To dream that you have been robbed, denotes that you are experiencing an identity crisis or you are suffering some sort of loss in your life. Alternatively, you may feel that someone has stolen your success or has taken credit for something you did Fear and anxiety are the most commonly expressed emotions in dreams. Anger ranks next. Fear, anger, and sadness occur twice as often as pleasant emotions. It is important to note that the feelings we experience in dreams are not symbols of something else but are reflections of our real feelings. Such feelings may not have been repressed during the day and as a result are coming out in your dreams. Betrayal To dream that you have been betrayed, represents your suspicions about a particular person, relationship or situation. This dream often occurs when you are having feelings of insecurity and are faced with major commitments in your life at the same time they didnt have blind sided but it does get better im in my mourning phaze i got back & forth between anger as well but i know in time (hopefully)he will be a distant memory. o the large penis just thought was funny ive never been blessed with that either;)
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