rightondude Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 RANT ALERT You probably shouldn't be reading this post if you don't want to catch something. Ever since my divorce and starting my dating life again, I have had 6 women cancel on me the day before a date because of illness. For awhile there, it was pneumonia with 3 straight women, which I felt was a nice touch to add that additional detail. Really softened the blow! So tonight I got blown off for tomorrow night (I'm sick and my kid's sick!). I just responded back with "I hope you're really not and you're just saying that because you don't want to go out. If not hope y'all get to feeling better!" I wonder if any of these rejections has been real. Most promise a rain check and then I guess it never stops raining. How sick would you have to be to honestly not go on a date? I guess I answered my own mystery since the rain checks never happen. Bummer. Oh well, I was looking to take a break from dating and work on myself anyway. This one had just been planned for awhile. I wish it was like in Seinfeld where this woman Jerry was seeing turned him down. He kept asking why and she finally gave him the answer! She saw his act and "it just didn't do it for me!" ... for once, I would love to know the actual reason why. Would really help. But in truth we all have to find it ourselves, this ain't TV.
crispytoast Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 If it were a first date, really any amount of sick I would reschedule. Since none of them made an effort to reschedule, I'm willing to bet that none of them were sick. Sorry mate 1
alphamale Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 depends on how good looking she is....if she is hot then I would go even if I lost a leg 2
frus69 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 If I never met the guy, a bit unwell feeling is enough to make me cancel the date. Honestly I dont have to force myself to entertain some stranger when Im not feeling well. But, I would actually reschedule, because Im not a flake. If I already have gone on a few dates with the guy, I'd still go even if Im sick (unless Im throwing up or cant get out of bed). I'd tell him Im having a flu maybe and ask to just Netflix and chill
crispytoast Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Also though, I might not reschedule until after I was feeling better. If someone cancels saying they are sick, you just leave it with "Damn I know how it goes. I hope you feel better!" Then you can check in with them in a few days with, something along the lines of "Hey how are you feeling?" You can feel it out and see if asking for another date seems appropriate but personally if they didn't bring it up I'd just let them be.
Happy Lemming Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Since none of them made an effort to reschedule, I'm willing to bet that none of them were sick. 100% agree with this statement!! Add me to the list that doesn't believe she is actually sick.
alphamale Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 how many people are actually sick when they call sick into work? 10% maybe?
Author rightondude Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 these have all ranged from 1st date to 5th or 6th. And actually now that I recall, I kept talking to one who told me this prior to the 1st date, we dated a few times, and she actually admitted that was a blow off. For me, I always have a fear that if I make up something like that, I will end up getting sick. Or if you lie about your grandma dying or some BS like that, well.... Man, i can GET the dates. It's actually going on them that's the problem. She was all about it 2 days ago. Then last night she posted on facebook she was GOING to the show we were supposed to go to tomorrow (you know how you can mark "interested" or "going" or whatever). I "liked" it. Maybe that was a bad move. I also posted a few other things (not to her or in any way related to the date). Now I have to wonder if I said something stupid to make her reconsider. Ah the joys of a digital obsessive world.
Author rightondude Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 Also though, I might not reschedule until after I was feeling better. If someone cancels saying they are sick, you just leave it with "Damn I know how it goes. I hope you feel better!" Then you can check in with them in a few days with, something along the lines of "Hey how are you feeling?" You can feel it out and see if asking for another date seems appropriate but personally if they didn't bring it up I'd just let them be. this is 100% my typical response but tonight I just couldn't handle it. I had to call it out.
Happy Lemming Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 how many people are actually sick when they call sick into work? 10% maybe? Good point... I do remember I got busted when I called out sick from a Beach town, Damn Seagulls (being too loud in the background) ratted me out. 1
Happy Lemming Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 this is 100% my typical response but tonight I just couldn't handle it. I had to call it out. Sometimes you hit your wall and get tired of the BS, especially if you put in the effort to "date plan". Similar to other posters, I have to be on my death bed to cancel a date. In my youth, I remember purchasing tickets to a NFL game (not cheap) for a date, stood in line and everything. She claimed to be a HUGE football fan, then cancelled at the last minute. No problem, called up one of my (male) friends and we went to the game, had a BLAST!! It was a great game!!
frus69 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 these have all ranged from 1st date to 5th or 6th. And actually now that I recall, I kept talking to one who told me this prior to the 1st date, we dated a few times, and she actually admitted that was a blow off. For me, I always have a fear that if I make up something like that, I will end up getting sick. Or if you lie about your grandma dying or some BS like that, well.... . I have actually never had guys using "im sick" as an excuse to bail. They still flake. But they never put up excuses. They just flat out disappear lol In the end it doesnt really matter to me if they use excuses or not. The end results are the same and that is "they arent interested". And they have every right to be. So dont get mad if a woman cancels on you. She has the right to.
The Outlaw Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Guess lying about being sick is just easier than saying you just don't want to see someone anymore.
Gretchen12 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 I'd have to be sick enough to have to go to the doctor and get a prescription. If not that, then having bad hair or a pimple would make me cancel. I want to look good. One time I had a torn ligament, my date showed up with a wheelchair for me and off we went. I'm not often sick and when a guy cancels because he's "tired" or "feeling under the weather", I believe him but I get turned off because it makes him seems sickly and pampered.
kendahke Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 How sick would you have to be to honestly not go on a date? I guess I answered my own mystery since the rain checks never happen. Just went through this myself. I'd think 10 days was enough time to get over a cold. But I'm no MD... 1
Cora Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 I had a guy whom I was dating for 6 months tell me his health had taken a turn for the worse....that he discovered he had a brain tumor. Told me he didn’t want to bring me down with his health issues and wanted time to himself. Never heard from him again. Found out he was actually dating someone new. Guess that was just easier than telling me he was no longer interested. People come up with all kinds of excuses and lies. Some are just more elaborate than others.
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 If I was sick I'd cancel a date. But, if I was sick with something such as a cold I'd tell the guy I had a cold and let him choose whether or not he wanted to go out with me (and possibly catch it). I catch colds from others very easily and wouldn't appreciate it if someone went out with me without warning me. LOL, I recently had a massage from a therapist who is great at what she does. But, she had a bad cold and the entire time she was giving me the massage she complained because someone had gone to the gym with a cold and she and a friend caught it from the person. Didn't realize she was sick until she'd been working on me a few minutes and by then I figured I was already exposed.
crispytoast Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 I'm not often sick and when a guy cancels because he's "tired" or "feeling under the weather", I believe him but I get turned off because it makes him seems sickly and pampered. What if he were tired because the apartment building across the street caught fire the night before and he was exhausted from smoke inhalation from saving people from the building before the fire department had arrived??? YOU DONT KNOW Tired I would be put off though, if you knew you had a date and didn't have enough foresight to get a good night sleep the night before, or even take a coffee nap an hour or two before, you don't really care that much. You can't always control sick. I ate some bad food the day before a date and if I hadn't had a double shot of vodka immediately, I likely would've been sh*tting and puking the next day and I would've had to cancel, then seeming like some disinterested prick when in reality I just had some bad Indian food.
preraph Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 I would cancel a date if I felt the least bit bad or contagious. I want them to do the same for me so I don't catch their crap. I would never schedule a date if I didn't want to go out with the person. I wouldn't accept and then say oh I can't go I'm sick. That seems like something only a high-school person would do, a girl and not a woman, someone too inexperienced to be able to just say no. If I canceled on someone I made a date with, I would do everything within my power to get them to nail down another date a week from then before I let them off the phone. Then I would probably make it my treat. 1
preraph Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 I thought of one exception. if the person asking me out was someone that I could not risk them being mad at me for rejecting them, then I might put off the inevitable by accepting and then making an excuse and hoping they dropped it. So for example if they were my boss or my professor, someone I didn't need to be on the bad side of.
crispytoast Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Oh how things have changed preraph. Nobody uses phones for calls anymore.
Gretchen12 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 What if he were tired because the apartment building across the street caught fire the night before and he was exhausted from smoke inhalation from saving people from the building before the fire department had arrived??? YOU DONT KNOW Tired I would be put off though, if you knew you had a date and didn't have enough foresight to get a good night sleep the night before, or even take a coffee nap an hour or two before, you don't really care that much. You can't always control sick. I ate some bad food the day before a date and if I hadn't had a double shot of vodka immediately, I likely would've been sh*tting and puking the next day and I would've had to cancel, then seeming like some disinterested prick when in reality I just had some bad Indian food. Ha! Well you don't want to tell your date about your diarrhea. That's too much information. But if there was a fire across the street, the guy should just say so. Or if he has chronic fatique he needs to get a medical diagnosis. There's a kind of guy that's always like some delicate princess, always complaining of little discomforts. That's what turns me off.
Author rightondude Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 Sometimes you hit your wall and get tired of the BS, especially if you put in the effort to "date plan". Similar to other posters, I have to be on my death bed to cancel a date. In my youth, I remember purchasing tickets to a NFL game (not cheap) for a date, stood in line and everything. She claimed to be a HUGE football fan, then cancelled at the last minute. No problem, called up one of my (male) friends and we went to the game, had a BLAST!! It was a great game!! this has just now taken an interesting and somewhat related (to your post) turn. I had in fact bought a ticket to a show tomorrow night for this date. I just drank a couple of cocktails and texted someone I went out with in the past (I'm a weak man) and who things ended with by her dumping me, but really I never could think of any reason why that happened. Knew she was a big fan of this act so I just texted saying I had an extra ticket and asked if she wanted to go. She responded back (we haven't talked in about 6 months) saying she was already going (with a "friend?") but would "look for me there" ... Should I go by myself to this concert like some dorkus malorkus, try to find a friend to go with me, or just bail and stick to my original plan to hermit life it for awhile? C'mon loveshack, give me some guidance and make this work for me. I obviously suck at it on my own...
preraph Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 (edited) Oh how things have changed preraph. Nobody uses phones for calls anymore. Speak for yourself. I think the people who don't use the phone for phone calls are people who are too awkward to do so. I probably email more than anything and text a little, and talk on the phone a littlle. If I was going to cancel a date because I was sick, I'd for sure want them to hear my voice so they understood that I was sick. Edited June 6, 2019 by preraph
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