an0nym0us123 Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 (edited) Ill try and keep this short Matched with a girl on tinder a week ago. She initiated contact first and we started chatting. She told me she had just joined which actually is not a good thing. she had been single 6 months after her ex cheated on her. So anyway we messaged back and fore and there was a lot of playful banter and flirting. She texted constantly for 3 days till we met on friday night for a walk on the beach. She was pretty much smitten with me right away and could not stop staring at me and telling me how cute i was etc. So we ended up kissing a lot and and had a nice time. She messaged me after the date telling me how hot i was etc. Same next day. And the conversation became pretty sexual. So on sunday she messaged me in the morning and continued to talk. I asked her when she was free to meet up and her reply was i dont know "maybe" in 2 weeks when im back from a 4 day trip. This was an instant downer for me and i sort of stoped flirting with her and slowed down on the replies. Even though she was still being flirty i could tell she wasnt as excited as the previous day. I was looking forward to seeing her again so i was pretty dissapointed that she said "maybe" in 2 weeks time. So i thought sod it and went to visit my fwb that night. On monday night she messaged me wondering how my day was and i replied and there were a few messages back and forth but i wasnt really putting much effort in. Didnt hear anything yesterday. So my gut is telling me that a new girl on tinder has found a lot more options than just me and someone else got her attention. I dont think she is testing me but if she is its a big turn off. Couple of years ago id be messaging her asking if she was okay and being a right chump but i dont think i will She is obviously not as into me any more despite being all over me for a few days. I think the right course of action is do nothing? Edited June 5, 2019 by an0nym0us123
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 Doesn't sound you are too interested in her either being as you were able to go have sex with your backup chick. The course of action would be to date other women, and if she comes around again in 2 weeks, then continue. 1
OatsAndHall Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 It's the nature of OLD. You're on her Rolodex so just take yourself out of it and move on. 3
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 5, 2019 Author Posted June 5, 2019 Dont know that has anything to do with my interest. I wouldnt have gone to the fwb if i felt i was going to get a second date. But i will follow your suggestion and do nothing. But the momentum is gone for me now
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 Well like I always say if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. 1
LoverOfDance Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 Sounds to me like trying to have a conversation over text with you is like pulling teeth. If i were her, i would have stopped texting you a long time ago no matter how attractive i think you are. Based on what you've written, you seem hard to converse with over text. Is she always the one reaching out to you? If so, why is this the case? Why can't you reach out? You don't seem very confident in yourself. Why are you worried about the other men on tinder? Who cares about them? Be confident in yourself and what you have to offer and go after what you want. You don't know what is going on in this girl's life. You literally just met her. Calm down and just keep contact until she is free. If she keeps giving excuses after excuses to avoid meeting up then you date others. Right now, you are closing the book on this too early and you are not trying at all. 1
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 5, 2019 Author Posted June 5, 2019 I dont think im hard to converse with over txt we had a lot of good banter back and forth and flirting. She made it very clear she fancied me and i told her i fancied her and asked when she was free to meet agian. Her reply was maybe in 2 weeks didnt sound too interested. What was i meant to think? I havnt reached out since she said this but she did it all before that. I never had a chance! She was at me at 7 am in the morning.
Saracena Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 Yes, given her very obvious, very keen interest beforehand, her response is very strange indeed. Are you sure she's not going on a 14-day trip as opposed to a 4-day one? That's the only explanation I can come up with at this point-other than her having met someone else, which is possible but less likely I think.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 5, 2019 Author Posted June 5, 2019 No she is away for 4 days at the middle of the month. Even 2 hours before she gave me the "maybe when i get back" she said she really fancied me. Get the feeling im being kept on a back burmer
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 No she is away for 4 days at the middle of the month. Even 2 hours before she gave me the "maybe when i get back" she said she really fancied me. Get the feeling im being kept on a back burmer Yep. Sounds about right. Dating someone brand new to online is always a gamble. They're fresh meat and if she's decent looking, her inbox will be blowing up. It's definitely safe to say she's keeping all her options open at this point. Men do this as well. Welcome to online dating
Mrin Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 There are a ton of innocent reasons why she said in two weeks: 1. That time of the month + 4 day trip 2. Already booked another first date or two + 4 day trip 3. Have weekend planned with girlfriends + 4 day trip 4. Doesn't want to sound desperate + 4 day trip 5. Have big project at work + 4 day trip She said she was really keen on you. You had great chemistry. you asked her out and she said yeah and two weeks when I get back from my trip. And then you got all butt hurt. And you pulled back. And you stopped flirting with her. And you sent a really strong message that you weren't interested. My point is there are a lot of reasons why she couldn't see you until two weeks. what you should have done if you were really interested in her was continued to pursue her and lock her down for that second date. It would have come across as showing high interest in her and confidence in you. I don't really understand why you acted the way you did. What did you have to lose? It's not like you have any friends in common. Or she would tell 5th period History class that you were chasing her. the only negative would have been for her to just decline your advances and then you would go on your Merry way. Instead you are sulking here and have probably pushed her to go give some other guy her attention. Best of luck! Mrin
The Outlaw Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 She may have seemed less invested that she was because she may have had other things on her mind, but just wait and see. If she texts you back, that's awesome. If not, pay her no more attention and move on.
frus69 Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 You kept saying how she initiated everything so Im not sure if you've put much effort in it at all. If you havent, maybe she got tired of having to chase and wasn't sure if you are really into her and was hoping you'd step up. After all, you are the guy. But if you think the ship has sailed then just move on to the next.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 6, 2019 Author Posted June 6, 2019 Im not sure me pursuing is going to do anything other than push her away. Things were really good and i never had a chance to initiate. I asked when we could meet again and i got a maybe in 2 weeks. If anyone sent out a strong message i feel it was her. Its not like she said definitely when i get back. What i was left with is a vague idea of a date down the line. Anyway she messaged me last night to tell me she had been off work sick yesterday and had been to the doctor. I was nice to her said id give her lots of cuddles if i was there etc. Which she seemed to like. I may initiate later to ask how she is today. But i dont see why i should chase and chase someone who said "maybe" to a second date in 2 weeks. If she was really into me i dont think she would have said that.
frus69 Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 You dont see why you should chase and chase someone who said maybe? Did you chase and chase? I thought you didnt even initiate much ? Why are you afraid of chasing her? Do you like her or not?
LoverOfDance Posted June 6, 2019 Posted June 6, 2019 Op, you're quite strange. Why put so much emphasis on a word? What matters is what ppl do not what they say. You are shooting yourself on the foot behaving the way you are behaving. I honestly feel bad for the girl. I wouldn't be chasing you if were her.
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