Should I pursue her?

[somelamedude]

I've been single for awhile and been dating very questionable women whom come off as users. Not too long ago I met a girl online who is totally gaga over me and immediately got off the site to just focus on me. She revealed that she is wanting to a find a man who she could date and marry. I've been talking to her every day, and when I'm not busy with work I see her. She's treating me like a serious boyfriend already despite dating for a short period. She's 22 and I'm 27. She revealed to me that she's been building up her immune system so she could work (she was very sick when she was younger), and has NEVER had a job. I've met her family and realized she's very heavily sheltered. She acts like she's 13, and her family has taught her how to cook and clean. She claims to be a virgin and she's not very experienced as a kisser. She revealed to me, that her legal parents (grandparents) are willing to pass down their home to her. The house is HUGE and really nice! Easily it's worth $300,000 to half a million dollars where I live, which to put into perspectives would be like a million dollar home in California/New York. Her grandparents have been a huge influence in her life and she has confessed to being engaged twice in her life despite being so young (apparently these guys were going nowhere and were immature and not stable).

 

 

She doesn't seem to have much of a characteristic of her own, but she's super hot: petite, busty, nice smile, and the women in her family are all the same.

 

 

When I was in her room, there were several books on wedding plannings, several recorded shows on home improvement etc, and I'm getting the vibes that she's being prepped by her grandparents to be a wife and soon since they're up there in age. When I was talking to her, the topic of s*x was brought up, and the fact that I'm not a virgin, and she is open to doing anything for me in the bedroom when we get married.. so it seems that she's also prepped to be submissive. She's a great cook, and has a lot of goals.. plus she's teased about experimenting with me.

 

 

 

I've always wanted to be a homeowner. It would take me a good 10-15 years to save up, sell my tiny house, just to buy anything that size. It is tempting, but I don't want to be a gold digger.. also I wanted to get a perspective if something like this is worth it... would I eventually see her more like a daughter... if she only offers good meals, a clean house, and action in the bedroom, would that get old soon?

 

 

 

Anyways, I do like her, we do have similar taste in movies and music, and wanting to know what I should do.

[TheFinalWord]

TBH sounds kind of creepy. What have you done to earn a trophy wife, a free house, and an immediate family?

 

Are you sure she's not in some cult or something?

 

 

In my experience, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is...

[somelamedude]

@TheFinalWord

 

 

Let me clarify, what I mean about all the women.. is there's no fat chicks and they're built like "trophy wives." However her biological mom also doesn't act her age.. she kinda acts like a teen still. I haven't met her younger sister, but sister is already married with a kid, and also smoking hot.

 

 

According to her, her grandparents are Presbyterians, which would kinda explain their push on wealth. The biological mom wasn't wealthy.. and made poor choices which contributed to this girl's poor inner health.

 

 

 

But yeah, not sure if Presbyterians have that nuclear family idea.. they're trying to get her healthier in hopes to get her college educated.. yeah I'm just hesitant because the atmosphere is such where the women don't seem to be prepped to be well off on their own (evidence of biological mom being in the slumps for awhile before remarrying to someone wealthy but sister living good) and their success is heavily influenced on the man that they marry.

 

 

She was at first asking what type of job I had, in which I embellished it a bit.. I work for a bank where the starting positions is like a call center, and the higher positions are like the "fat cats in suits" who get to retire comfortably.. so if I maintain this job and work up, I get to retire comfortably too, but she doesn't know that I'm in a lower position at the moment.

[alphamale]

jump on this chick, both literally and figuratively

[Lotsgoingon]

Dude, a million dollar house cannot make a marriage, can't even sustain a relationship.

 

So forget the money. Block that out. There's no guarantee you'll co-own a house with her anyway. The inheritance from her grandparents would go down to her, not to you. Over time you might acquire some right to the house, but not necessarily.

 

And this woman seems strange. One, she's way too over the top about you ... She's never had a job? I don't mean this in a malicious way at all, but she sounds like she has disability of some kind ... and she's working really hard to disguise it by being a pliable person ... She may well be a wonderful person, but hold her to real standards ... forget the house ... forget money ...

 

You will not be happy with someone who is socially withdrawn and not very exposed to the world. You half-infatuation will burn through so fast.

[preraph]

She's not ready to marry until she has first worked and lived on her own. She's only 22. I can't count the problems you will have with someone who is going straight from a sheltered life to looking quickly for someone to take care of them. Don't you see she's just trying to replace her grandparents before they kick off? She needs to move out on her own and work and learn what being an adult is like. I would never suggest marrying someone with zero life experience like that. Do you want a child or a wife?

[alphamale]

oh I didn't know she is 22, disregard my last post

[Gretchen12]

I'm more like her grandparents' age. To me, you are both kids. You may think she is immature, but if you think you're going to get that house, you are extremely naive. And of course 27 is very young. You'll find out.

[smackie9]

The only way to find out if she has any substance is to date her. You need to go out and do things, and see how she interacts with you away from the grandparents, and the security of the home. Maybe seeing her enjoy new experiences with you might change your fears about her being mute/boring.

[Foxhall]

her personality type intrigues me, not in a way that I would wish to dominate her or anything, but that I would help her grow and support her,

 

your giving the impression that you would prefer a "stronger woman" though so perhaps the two of you are not that compatible in that sense,

 

Id keep an open mind though, she sounds quite a catch in some ways, so too early yet for you to decide.

explore a few more dates anyway.

 

I would be mindful of this girl's feelings too, she deserves a guy suited to her also and my fear for her would be she will marry someone whom she is not compatible with.

[preraph]

She's going to marry the first guy who will walk to the altar with her. And it's entirely possible that her story about inheriting that house is just a story, too, because remember it's her grandparents. She may be assuming they leave it to her. In truth, it may have to be sold and divided between the grandparents' actual children instead. That would be more normal. Even if they have the best intentions, it may get contested unless their wills are very clear. Also, one grandparent may wish to leave it to her but the other grandparent who survives may decide differently. Don't count on that.

 

If the grandparents get a whiff she's trying to buy a husband with their home, they may rethink the whole thing too and instead leave her a controlled trust.

[kendahke]

I'll bet she hits you with a iron clad prenup by her grandparents insistence--and that's probably why you're "fiance" #3 right now.

 

Another one swam into the trap.

[crispytoast]

Date her until the grandparents die, then get married no prenup, have a kid with her, then divorce her, prove she isnt emotionally or financially stable enough to keep the kid, get custody, keep the house because you have custody, then play the emotionally vulnerable single dad card to meet the woman of your dreams. Live happily ever after in your big house and retire comfortably at a young age.

 

Wait, you are doing this for the house right? Because this thread read to me as "crazy girl I just met is inheriting big house, should I marry her for it?"

[Fekenaws]

I mean, it sounds good. I'd just be wary of a hot, wealthy girl who can't get married. That sets off red flags in my head that there is something very wrong or offputting about her or her family.

 

Let's be real here, most guys have VERY flexible standards. There should be a very good reason a girl of her caliber isn't spoken for. Do your research, don't just dive in headfirst.

Edited June 6, 2019 by Fekenaws

[alphamale]

I mean, it sounds good. I'd just be wary of a hot, wealthy girl who can't get married. That sets off red flags in my head that there is something very wrong or offputting about her or her family.

 

Let's be real here, most guys have VERY flexible standards. There should be a very good reason a girl of her caliber isn't spoken for. Do your research, don't just dive in headfirst.

 

she's probably bipolar or has some other mental illness running in her family