truelyblue Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 to ppl out there, i hope u can help me.............. i have a friend whom i like and who does not like me back...we used to best of frends now only argue all the time...........i told him tht i like him but i said if we were to be friends its ok with me......i did not want to lose him ,now all i seem to have are expectations(as a friend) and when he does not live upto them we end up fighting...........but i know he is not trying either to make it work, it has all been left to me.........should i end it......give it more time ..........or is it tht my expectaions are really the feelings i have for him speaking..........i dont know.......HELP!!!!!!!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 i have a friend whom i like and who does not like me back Let your 'friend' go. Plain and simple. What you are doing to each other is grossly unfair and unneccesarily painful. It is unfair of you to use 'friends' as an excuse to settle for less when you want more, and it is unfair of him to keep you around if he doesn't want what you want. i know he is not trying either to make it work, it has all been left to me This means that he is simply waiting for you to give up and let this die a natural death. It is unfortunate he can't just walk away and break contact so that you can begin to get your head and heart back together. Since he won't do this, perhaps it is up to you to make the break that is eventually going to happen anyway. Save yourself any further heartbreak and end this. Let him know that you can't put yourself through this any more, and break off contact with him. It may not be what you want, but what you want from him simply isn't going to happen. So, you have to do what will work best. It truly would be the best for you both.
Author truelyblue Posted September 24, 2005 Author Posted September 24, 2005 This means that he is simply waiting for you to give up and let this die a natural death. It is unfortunate he can't just walk away and break contact so that you can begin to get your head and heart back together.. hi LB, i tried to let him go i stopped all communication with him for 3 months and in between he kept messaging asking how i was and tht he was feeling rely bad we were not talking and wanted to know wot he had done.........i told him tht i was hurting and maybe cud not c eye to eye nemore.....he said he cares alot abt me and does not want to loose one of the best things tht ever happened to him..........his closest friend and confidante. we sorted out issues and then again i noticed a distance ......again after awhile he was back to normal...........its just tht its hurting me and even when i stop he communicates and i want it to go back to normal.......... how shud i put an end to this it is obvious it is long overdue.........i get scared when i think of the thought tht he n i will never speak again even if nuthing happens...its easier for me to c him with a gurl thn not talk to him at all............. but all of this is killing me inside cant live like this......help me end it or at least get over it........ ps:another thing is i have tried to c or like other men and its not so bad........but inspite of all this i still miss him when he is not there........... i really need help:o truelyblue
Author truelyblue Posted September 26, 2005 Author Posted September 26, 2005 hey all , this is the advice site and i cud use some......... truelyblue
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 i tried to let him go i stopped all communication with him for 3 months and in between he kept messaging asking how i was and tht he was feeling rely bad we were not talking and wanted to know wot he had done.........i told him tht i was hurting and maybe cud not c eye to eye nemore.....he said he cares alot abt me and does not want to loose one of the best things tht ever happened to him..........his closest friend and confidante. That was then. This is now: but i know he is not trying either to make it work, it has all been left to me... Just because he may have wanted to hold on to what you had at one time, doesn't mean he still wants to. If he is 'not trying to make it work' then that means he doesn't want it to work, and he is letting it die a natural death. In a case where a relationship is going downhill, you can't base the present on things they were doing in the past. Even if he does attempt to hold on - what possible good would it do you, if what he has to offer is not what you want and what you have to offer is not what he wants? What you had is gone. Changed. Neither of you is benefiting from this anymore. Time to let go. but all of this is killing me inside cant live like this......help me end it or at least get over it........ If this is killing you, then stop putting yourself in a position to be killed. Cut this off, and firmly. If he is now 'not trying to make it work' then he shouldn't have a problem with you walking away, particularly since he does not have the feelings for you that you do for him. Cutting him off firmly means that you have to gather up the strength to cut him off - even to the point where you do not accept any contact from him.
Author truelyblue Posted September 27, 2005 Author Posted September 27, 2005 hi LB i am going to follow ur advice and c how it goes.......i hope i can eradicate him from my life completely.........will keep u posted.....
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