pioneer Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 Iv been split up with my ex now for 1 year. I still miss her more than anything in the world, we were together for 5 and a half years, she ended it but never gave me a real reason why. I always expected us to get back together, as I just thought it was a phase she was going through. Now after 1 year she has done so much with her life, new job, new car, working abroad, holidays with friends, and after we’d been split for 6 months I found out shed met someone. As usual, I didn’t think this would last and I still expected her to come back to me, I was also slightly upset that she was in a relationship after 6 months. We share some of the same friends and I hang around with some of them quite often, but they never mention my ex. I just feel that i'm not moving on at all, iv done nothing since we split, all I seem to do is sit in playing video games with I something I never used to do. I found out only yesterday that she has now brought a house and moved in with this guy. I feel devastated that she’s only been with him a few months and she’s done this already, as it was something we talked about doing shortly before we split. I’m scared of bumping into her or any of her family, for the fear that they will be laughing at me, thinking what a looser I am. I just feel I want to contact her to tell her how I feel. I know it would do no good, but I miss her so much. When I think of her in her own house with someone else, the thought just eats at me. I’m worried ill be single forever and never find anyone I love as much as her. I just don’t know what to do about it.. How can she just forget about me and move in with someone. I just feel she never loved me.
pippen_2k Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 I know the feeling all too well dude. The dreams you shared with your ex, she is now living and sharing them dreams with someone else.. sux dont it! You said you are worried about running into her..well take that as your own personal advice and dont run into her! Avoid her like she was your Nemesis! If you see her comming, cut a u-turn and head in the opposite direction cause you wont be able to handle talking to her! It will kill you. Who cares what she or her parents and friends think. Your an individual and dont need someone to make out ur wanted and valuable. Just give em a smile or totally ignore em and keep walking like they dont exist. They will think you are strong and just dont give a f***. Chin up!
Author pioneer Posted September 25, 2005 Author Posted September 25, 2005 Yeah, youre right, its just so difficult, in a way, i want to talk to her, but i know it would do me more halm than good.
lynnered Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 1st of all im sorry you are going throgh this my 1st boyfriend i was with for 3 years 10 months (still remember), it wasnt a good relationship ,ended badly &lots of questions leftover. i started dating a new guy a month later i wasnt over X,i was with new boyfriend 3 years(my rebound i later learned)that 1st year1/2 2years i wasnt totally over my X especially at first . eventully time healed ive dated other guys , i was in love 1 other time maybe 2:love: I had those same thoughts ,of never finding someone else. I have them right now over a 4 year situation thats over now day 17 NC. it does happen sometimes it takes time you were with her for a very long time,with my 1st boyfriend thinking back i think he feel out of "in love"or it was the something new he met . I dont think she didnt love you but people change she didnt give you a reason ok you need to figure a way to get your closure w/o contacing her ,maybe write a letter & dont send ,put away pictures anything that reminds you of her ,something anything that you can tell yourself this did not workout its not going to she moved on & i am too. and you say all you do is play video games? are you working ,in school,dating,focus on you more and her none. we controll out thoughts its hard im going through it now ,but thinking they will think you are a loser thats in your head ,get it out! if you dont know what you like to do besides video games you need to find out & start doing them limit game playing to maybe 2hours a day . your worried youll be single forever a&never find anyone I love as much as her you wont if you choose to not do something if you sit in the house all day of course your not going to meet anyone new . and you do know what to do about it ..what she did move on ,if your not ready to date wait a little while longer ,but work on things to make your life better ,education,travel,home ,a car WHATEVER you are free to do anything you want ,find out what you want(not her)& do it!! stop wasting your life away ,build a life around you not someone else . and i really think you need to work on loving yourself,knowing yourself & all that good stuff. get out of the house & goodluck:love:
InLimbo2 Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 Don't do it, no good can come of it. Go back and read posts about how heartwrenching contacting the ex will be. She's moved on - if she weren't living with another guy, bought a house with him - I might say give it a try....but trust me, no good can come of contacting her now - you are just asking for heartache.
Author pioneer Posted September 25, 2005 Author Posted September 25, 2005 Yeah, ur right, maybe i should have tries befor it got this far. The thing is, we split b4 and i had to try so hard and invest a lot of time into getting her back. This time i wanted her to come back by herself.
lynnered Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 pioneer, so are you going to start letting go ? getting out of the house ? making choices? things can be better ,create this new begining for you about you . you need to live your life for you never build it around someone else , no matter what happens in life you are the only person who will never leave you,take care of that person 1st & you havent been this past year ,so you have some lost time to make up for goodluck get positive & stay positive
Author pioneer Posted September 25, 2005 Author Posted September 25, 2005 Yeah, thanks ur right, i am gonna try. This was just a bit of a setback i guess.
Baz Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 You are not a well guy. Go and speak to your GP about depression and see what he can do for you. Im sorry for you but you must realise this. You should also consider packing your bags and heading out to see the world. Go travelling in Aus or something. You need to get right away from your scene. This will slowly help lift your depression. The relationship that you had is dead and buried and you must now focus all efforts on moving on.
Woggle Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Move on with your life and be happy without her.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Now after 1 year she has done so much with her life, new job, new car, working abroad, holidays with friends, and after we’d been split for 6 months I found out shed met someone. I’m scared of bumping into her or any of her family, for the fear that they will be laughing at me, thinking what a looser I am. You're only a loser if you want to be one. Take a leaf out of her book - do stuff with your life. Take a good hard look at your life - what do you want to do, where do you want to be? Look at your job, hobbies, friends etc. Then make realistic long term plans and take baby steps towards the life you want. Since they seem to be holding you back, I'd get rid of the video games. Nothing against video games, just against things that hold you back.
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