Tagalz Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 (edited) Hey! I met this girl on tinder and we have already been on 3 dates. Tomorrow would be the 4th. I'm not just that into her. She's not what I expected. She's fat, she don't talk that much and look wise just okay. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying I like those fitness models on Instagram. I like girl who has average body, average in look wise and can start a conversation when I have nothing to say. Usually it's always me who has to start and lead the convo until the end while she gives me long and uninterested replies. I don't know if I should tell her that it's better if we are just friends or just let it go. What's your opinion on this? Edit: I forgot to write that after the 2th date I stopped initiate contact but she is clearly interested and asked me out to watch a movie in the theatres a couple of days ago. Tomorrow she just want to go for a walk and talk with me. Edited June 3, 2019 by Tagalz
malaiyas Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 I don't... really understand the point of this post. You're not attracted to her. You're not interested in her, period. You don't have to apologize for that. Tell her that you had a great time with her and you enjoyed meeting her (even if it's a white lie) but that you got more of a platonic vibe and you wish her luck. Short and sweet. Please actually do tell her this. I'm all for fighting the good fight - leaving people wondering is so much more hurtful than just respectfully letting them know you're not feeling it. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 Tell her you're not interested in going out further, which is the truth from what I can tell. You're wasting her time by continuing to go out with her when you don't really like her ... and btw: no need to talk about her being "fat." Just say you don't like her for dating--we have the right to not date anyone for any reason or for no reason at all. Look, I liked you talking to you, but I don't see in a future with us. I need to cancel any further meetings. You can't be her friend now because she seems interested in you. So friendship isn't going to work. Remember telling people we are not interested is an act of integrity. People don't die hearing that news--they simply get the information they need to go look for someone else. Sounds like you simply don't have practice in telling people you are nor interested--particularly someone who seems interested in you. That's fine. Practice now! And no need to offer her a reason--just that you don't see a future in dating her. 1
The Outlaw Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 Then tell her in the nicest way possible and try to spare her feelings. Tell her 'Thanks, but no thanks' and go from there.
Saracena Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 Agree with the other responses here but I have to express surprise at why you didn't take the opportunity to end it after the second date. Instead of agreeing to a further one with her it would have been far simpler to just end things then, particularly when you were sure you didn't want anything further with her.
alphamale Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 just cancel the 4th date, say you have to wash your hair or something - she'll get the message 2
CLS63AMG Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 Do what the others said, just say you are getting more of a friend vibe and it was great getting to know her. The longer you keep going on these "dates" the harder its going to be for her to deal with what you are going to say - and next time when you aren't feeling it do not go on a second date.
newyorker11356 Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 Do what the others said, just say you are getting more of a friend vibe and it was great getting to know her. The longer you keep going on these "dates" the harder its going to be for her to deal with what you are going to say - and next time when you aren't feeling it do not go on a second date. Disagree. You can't always know for sure after 1 date. 1
Foxhall Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 Yes Id cancel the upcoming date anyway, personally Id be considerate of the girl's feelings at this point, I would try to let her down gently like on the lines of I am happy to be your friend but am not interested in a relationship at the moment, and then just let it fizzle out gradually, I would be conscious of your description of this girl, well she may not be the most self confident and I would not want to be nasty to her, in saying that the ladies are not always especially considerate of us guys feelings if they dont fancy us. lol.
CLS63AMG Posted June 3, 2019 Posted June 3, 2019 (edited) Disagree. You can't always know for sure after 1 date. Of course, but it sure sounds like he did! I've done the same as him many times and gone on a second after not being sure after the 1st but all that did was ensure there wouldn't be a 3rd. Also how he's only looking for an average girl resonated - I too go for that, average girls with a positive attitude and fun to be with but they never like me back and I end up with the fitness ones and former models. Not sure how the heck that happens! Edited June 3, 2019 by CLS63AMG
I'veseenbetterlol Posted June 4, 2019 Posted June 4, 2019 That happens, don't feel bad about the situation. Go on the 4th date and tell her that things are not working out. I've gone on a couple of dates w/a guy to see if I liked him and I didn't. I let him know so he wouldn't be lead on.
Happy Lemming Posted June 4, 2019 Posted June 4, 2019 She's not what I expected. She's fat, Nothing wrong with a big girl... If it were me, I'd plow the big girl until something better came along. You're 3 dates in... might as well go in for the score. Tomorrow's date isn't going to cost you anything but some shoe leather, go for it!!
mortensorchid Posted June 4, 2019 Posted June 4, 2019 If you're not feeling it, for whatever reason, then ... What's the point of seeing her anymore? Just say to her "I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling this." You shouldn't waste either your or her time with this.
Redhead14 Posted June 4, 2019 Posted June 4, 2019 There is a reply here that is ignorant and disrespectful to a spectacular degree. Ugh 6
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 4, 2019 Posted June 4, 2019 Disagree. You can't always know for sure after 1 date. For some of us, you can. After a certain point and a certain age, you just know who is worth dating and who is not. It doesn't take 5 dates to figure that out for many people.
PRW Posted June 4, 2019 Posted June 4, 2019 Disagree. You can't always know for sure after 1 date. He's been on 3.
Author Tagalz Posted June 4, 2019 Author Posted June 4, 2019 Wow so many comments and opinions! I enjoyed reading all of them. Yes it’s true that I’ve been on 3 dates but even then I was not sure. I’m not saying because she’s fat that’s why I’m not interested it’s just that I get the friend vibe and that I am the one who always have to lead. Sure the badboys/ manly guys leads but she doesn’t even take initative from her side. I met her today and we went for a walk while eating ice cream. We talked about movies, fashion and politics. But at the end I told her this: «I want to say that I don’t see any future in us and that I’m not interested anymore. I think it’s best for you because then you don’t need to waste anymore time with me. It was good knowing you and good luck!»
Author Tagalz Posted June 4, 2019 Author Posted June 4, 2019 Also how he's only looking for an average girl resonated - I too go for that, average girls with a positive attitude and fun to be with but they never like me back and I end up with the fitness ones and former models. Not sure how the heck that happens! Hahah way to go my man! Fitness models are the best you can get as a girlfriend. They look good and have a nice body and maybe personality to? but I think they have high expectation when it comes to guys as well. Like they need their man to be forexample well trained, have a look of a male model and so on
Author Tagalz Posted June 4, 2019 Author Posted June 4, 2019 There is a reply here that is ignorant and disrespectful to a spectacular degree. Ugh Well people are different xD
Author Tagalz Posted June 4, 2019 Author Posted June 4, 2019 The meetups I’ve been to is not all that fun so then It’s going back to tinder and search...
Fekenaws Posted June 4, 2019 Posted June 4, 2019 Everyone wants to be the "nice guy" and that's fine, but in the world of dating, it's not realistic. You aren't attracted to her and you don't have the spark. Done and done. Tell her you want to be just friends or that you don't think this is working out and cut cords. It will feel great for you and honestly, you'll forget her pretty quickly, and for her, it will sting but at least you came clean in a relatively timely manner. I'm actually going through the same thing with a girl rn from tinder. We had a date, I'm not that into her but she's into me. I'm telling the next time she reaches out that I'm done and I wish her well. It's not like we're dating so she can't possibly be that attached. I'm already talking to a cuter girl I'm interested in from Bumble. GL mate
Lotsgoingon Posted June 4, 2019 Posted June 4, 2019 I want to say that I don’t see any future in us and that I’m not interested anymore. I think it’s best for you because then you don’t need to waste anymore time with me. It was good knowing you and good luck! This is good ... but remember, this decision is also best FOR YOU! ... and that's OK. But great step here ....
Foxhall Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 There is a reply here that is ignorant and disrespectful to a spectacular degree. Ugh I think I know the one you refer too. lol this is the "locker room talk" to quote our special visitor today!
stillafool Posted June 5, 2019 Posted June 5, 2019 Hey! She's fat, she don't talk that much and look wise just okay.[/u] Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying I like those fitness models on Instagram. I like girl who has average body, average in look wise and can start a conversation when I have nothing to say. I don't understand something. Didn't you notice she was fat before you asked her out? If so, why are you complaining about it now? Also did you by chance have a conversation with her before you asked her out on 3 dates? Could you not tell before you asked her out if she was good at conversation? You have completely wasted this woman's time and emotions. I would suggest to start only dating your type so you don't waste other's time.
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