dazed343 Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 Sry 4 the long post, bare with me. Im having some real relastion issues with my gf. Well it seems this way or maybe Im just over-reacting though my gut tells me different. Firstly I'll give u some background info though a lot of it can be found in previous post from me. I met my gf about 6 months ago now but we've broken up 4-5 times now, most of them me just leaving. She has 2 kids and is not yet divoreced from her ex husband so you can imagine what my family and friends think. Anyways the last time I left for a number a reasons mainly because I wasn't happy. I moved away from my parents and was living in a bad part of the city with another couple, the guy who had temper problems, bad apartment, just living miserable everyday. Anyways she originally borke it off but the last time I did she said it was the last. Well nc never worked and after her calling a day later and us meeting up, I couldn't let go of my feelings for her. I hadn't been eating for the whole week and was in bad shape so she came down to see me again the next day. In the day before when we met up and talking to her on the phone she said again and again although with tears she wouldn't and couldn't take me back. Anyway she said if i wanted 2 be with her i would come back to live with her in her town which was halfway across the country. Well after thinking about it I said yes and after living with a friend for a wk because my parents didn't want her staying at there place we left. Anyways, been her 2 months now, no job prospect, and my friend and family are telling me to come back home. When I first got here with her things were good, not as good as they were when we first met but I know things die down some. Now though we argue so much more, and Im not sure if this fits under reverse pyschology but when we argue its like she blames me but tries at the same time to make it sound like I blame her for everything. 95% of nights she'll just go to bed and say "Im heading in". No goodnight, no kiss, no I love you. Now if I ask for one or telll her i love her she'll say it back but a few nights i wanted to see what she'd do and I just went to bed saying and doing nothing. And yeh, she said nothing back. I think last night after maybe 10 mins she said goodnight and love u. As for being itimate its not very often. Even affection levels have dropped big. I know she has anger over some things (eg not having her kids with her, lost marrige...)but, alot of mornings when she gets up everything will irritate her which then puts me in a mood. She went to a bar last weekend to meet up with her friends but she didn't want me going because previous times I never wanted to go and she stayed home with me. I try alot to build on things but mostly I can just feel tensions between us. My parents want me back home because they feel I have million more opportunities there. My dad has even offered to drive the halfway across the country to pick me up. They have offered me money to come home on my own. I feel alot of pressure from every direction, my gf gets upset because I got problems maintaining my attention which isn't my fault, my dad can't figure out why I stay, my mom calls, and my gf has said in the past wks, if we don't get work we'll have to go our own ways because we can't stay here rent free and she can go live with her parents. (Were staying with some family of hers). I know Im partialy scared to head home in fear of memories, being alone again, thoughts of her on and on. I left my job and everything to come here. Some days will be good between me and her but most days its a mixture of tension and just plain ok. I feel though like I should hold on and try and reapir things but pressure from family to come home is getter big.
Copingsaw Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 Wow. From what you told us, neither of you is in a position to have a successful relationship. No job, no money, lots of stress, a probable lack of maturity. What a recipe for disaster. Sorry to be so blunt but your asking for our opinions. What should you do: listen to your parents. Go home. Get an education. Get a job. Work on providing some stability in your own life. Then maybe you will be in a position to provide the same for a woman.
Author dazed343 Posted September 25, 2005 Author Posted September 25, 2005 I've been through college and was working as an assitstant store manager when I left to come out here with her. Also the town shes from which is where I am now is maybe 1000 ppl, versa the city Im from of a couple million.
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