guest569 Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Hi all, I'm going to get back into dating but feel a bit clueless and self conscious about it?! Just for fun and get to know new people. Probably cute coffee/brunch dates and drinks and dinners. What should I wear? I try to be beautiful, groomed, clean as, fresh breath, and usually wear something pretty, casual, cute, nothing too sexy for a first date. If after work then I'm pretty standard feminine not overly corporate but part way there. Also keeping in mind it's fricken freezing where I am so winter accessories are a must. And heels are stupid. I don't own any and never will. Is it better to tone things down and look kinda boring or wear something a bit out there and trendy? I'm 30 if that helps. I like colours and bold and interesting stuff, but it might scare them off. Or do men not care too much? How to calm my nerves?
preraph Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 I think your natural instincts are already very good. wear a colorful feminine blouse with a moderate v-neck that fits well and isn't baggy. And wear good fitting pants or skirt. you can wear a dress but if you do it should probably be a casual one that fits well and isn't baggy. Don't wear sneakers or thongs. Since it's cold by all means wear boots or booties, not big clunky ones, but streamlined more feminine ones. If it's cold you can wear a jacket over your blouse or just wear a coat that you take off during the date. That's assuming it's just a coffee date. If it was a date at a nice restaurant you could go ahead and dress up. Enjoy! 1
basil67 Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Be yourself. No sense dressing in a style which you wouldn't normally wear to impress someone. If they don't appreciate you for who you are, then they are the wrong fit for you. 6
Author guest569 Posted May 31, 2019 Author Posted May 31, 2019 men love women in high heels That's so helpful, thanks!! 1
alphamale Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Be yourself. No sense dressing in a style which you wouldn't normally wear to impress someone. If they don't appreciate you for who you are, then they are the wrong fit for you. for my next professional job interview i'm going to wear a t-shirt and shorts
Author guest569 Posted May 31, 2019 Author Posted May 31, 2019 for my next professional job interview i'm going to wear a t-shirt and shorts And heels, I hope. 3
Author guest569 Posted May 31, 2019 Author Posted May 31, 2019 That's assuming it's just a coffee date. If it was a date at a nice restaurant you could go ahead and dress up. Enjoy! Thanks! Be yourself. No sense dressing in a style which you wouldn't normally wear to impress someone. If they don't appreciate you for who you are, then they are the wrong fit for you. I am sort of in need of some wardrobe updates anyway so am happy to change things up. But you're right, it needs to be 'me'. 1
todreaminblue Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 (edited) if you like bright bold beautiful colour wear brights with an understated pants skirt or top or wear colours as accessories with navy...ok i love navy blue....smilin....but navy looks awesome with bolds and brights.........and men do love heels.....but... men also like women who are comfortable in their own skin and clothes and shoes.....it really depends on where you are going there are places and times for dates wear heels are inappropriate.....im a boot and sneaker type of gal....and i dont think its attractive to wear heels and not walk in them properly.....you have to be able to walk confidently in heels........ i love colour too....i used to own these traffic stopper red boots with a low heel.....i used to pear(pair) them with purple tights a black skivvy and a trench coat....im not as bold these days too old...but navy blue is classic,elegant and beautiful for any age..and can carry bolds and brights and still be elegant.........deb Edited May 31, 2019 by todreaminblue 1
basil67 Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 for my next professional job interview i'm going to wear a t-shirt and shorts Of course, this isn't a white collar job interview. A woman can still dress nicely without faking her style. Or perhaps you'd rather her fake it initially??? 1
Lotsgoingon Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Wear whatever the heck you want. Don't worry about being too dressy.
basil67 Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Enigma just wrote what I was trying to say. So yeah, this ^^^
some_username1 Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Dress how you would on any normal day. If a guy is gonna date you, then that is the girl he will be seeing every day. If a guy is turned off by what you wear, then you don't want him anyway, do you? Whatever you do though, just dress appropriately for whatever activity you have planned. Don't wear your nice blouse and skirt if you are walking in a park. I've been with girls who did that and they just look silly. Maybe but I would have given them major props for effort and trying to look feminine. Wearing a demure skirt and looking feminine seems to be out of fashion at the moment. My casual dress is still very smart (almost always wear a shirt and blazer on a first date) and I'm so over "jeans and T-shirt" girl who looks like she just rolled out of bed 1
Author guest569 Posted May 31, 2019 Author Posted May 31, 2019 It's seriously freezing here so dress or skirt requires tights underneath. I'm still undecided but you've all given me some ideas. Thanks!
TooBad Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 I like to see a woman the way she is every day. The dressing up doesn't last anyways. 1
JuneL Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 A first date is supposed to be a bit casual. A feminine blouse paired with a pair of form-fitting ankle-length pants, or a casual summer dress (with leggings inside if it’s a bit cold). I love showing off my pretty nails by wearing shoes that are open in the toe area. Have a cute cardigan ready if it’s cold outside, and take it off when you’re inside the cafe. Also, don’t forget to match with the right necklace and/or watch! ^^^ That’s exactly my usual casual looks when I’m not particularly sloppy 1
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Clean & fresh of course. That should go without saying but in a desperate period in my life I read some books about dating. All of them actually had chapters about why one should bathe, wash your hair & brush your teeth before a date so maybe it doesn't go without saying. The universal pieces of advice I read in those books was to wear something that makes you feel confident but is made of a touchable fabric -- cashmere over wool for example since you mentioned it was freezing. 2
some_username1 Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 A first date is supposed to be a bit casual. A feminine blouse paired with a pair of form-fitting ankle-length pants, or a casual summer dress (with leggings inside if it’s a bit cold). I love showing off my pretty nails by wearing shoes that are open in the toe area. Have a cute cardigan ready if it’s cold outside, and take it off when you’re inside the cafe. Also, don’t forget to match with the right necklace and/or watch! ^^^ That’s exactly my usual casual looks when I’m not particularly sloppy I'm not sure I agree with this but then I'm a best foot forward kind of guy and endeavour to make a good first impression to elevate myself above the competition. For women I have always thought that the effort put into their first date dress reflects their interest level, would you dress a bit casual for a first date with Brad Pitt? Probably not, which is probably why too casual is a turn off for me on a first date (I should add this is for an evening date, drinks in a bar etc. obviously for a day time date casual is far more justifiable). 1
lurker74 Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Pretty much agree with Some, here. Should you go crazy and dress in a way you never would again? No. But it is actually a lot like a job interview. You're not sure what the job entails, its benefits, etc. They're not sure if you're qualified and a good candidate. And the reverse is true for the other person. So I try to dress a bit better than I would if I were out with friends. 1
JuneL Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 would you dress a bit casual for a first date with Brad Pitt? Absolutely, assuming Brad Pitt is a super good looking guy (which I personally don’t agree ). Being a bit casual doesn’t mean not looking good. In fact, I always look very cute even in my casual looks. If I go on a coffee date or happy hour all dolling up, that would scream high maintenance. Plus, I wanted to save the semi-formal dresses for our dinner at those nice places Do you wear your best suit to a coffee first date with Scarlet Johansson? 2
some_username1 Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 Absolutely, assuming Brad Pitt is a super good looking guy (which I personally don’t agree ). Being a bit casual doesn’t mean not looking good. In fact, I always look very cute even in my casual looks. If I go on a coffee date or happy hour all dolling up, that would scream high maintenance. Plus, I wanted to save the semi-formal dresses for our dinner at those nice places Do you wear your best suit to a coffee first date with Scarlet Johansson? Maybe not my best suit (I always like to leave room for improvement a few dates in ) But if the attraction and personality was there I would wear a suit (without tie, open collar etc) to a coffee date...although let's be fair a guy can wear a suit in the day and still be fairly congruent. A girl in a cocktail dress in a coffee shop not so much.... But then you are probably aiming that question at the wrong guy because as I said above, I dress in suits for leisure wear a lot anyway. I read some psychology today stuff a while back that said studies found that all things being equal women equate power with suits and are more pre-disposed to a man in a suit. I took that on board and suits (or at very least a shirt, blazer and black jeans) have become a staple for me and I always get favourable comments from women about the way I dress. The problem is that because I put in effort to look my best I have high expectations that the woman will too- not all the time but when going out etc. But I'm often left disappointed on first dates with the way some women don't even accentuate their figure or whatever. I try to look like a man and so I am looking for a feminine woman...but it certainly ain't the 1950's any more...
Flame Aura Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 I wouldn't worry about your clothes but please make sure your nails are done!! Maybe it's just me but that's the first thing I look at when I meet a girl/go on a date, more so than her clothes.
Els Posted May 31, 2019 Posted May 31, 2019 It's seriously freezing here so dress or skirt requires tights underneath. I'm still undecided but you've all given me some ideas. Thanks! Out of curiosity, which part of Aussie is this?? Do you live in Tasmania or something??? I think stockings or pantyhose work well with dresses or skirts in colder weather. Pair them with boots and a nice coat and you'll be reasonably warm!
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