Happy Lemming Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 I see that there are examples where it works out. And some people do win the lottery... but the vast majority don't. Every Bell Curve has an outlier or two.
rightondude Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 just enjoy the ride brother. Don't get too serious and she will likely appreciate that and want you more. Watch your wallet though. 1
emeraldgreen Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 And some people do win the lottery... but the vast majority don't. Every Bell Curve has an outlier or two. The lottery doesn't get easier with practice. I've actually had 3 great relationships with a 9, 12 and 16 year age difference. The first two broke down because of other factors, one of whom is still a great friend and married to another dude slightly older than me. The people who most commonly have problems with age differences are the ones who are hitting the wall or have been traded in for a newer model.
Happy Lemming Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 The lottery doesn't get easier with practice. I've actually had 3 great relationships with a 9, 12 and 16 year age difference. The first two broke down because of other factors, one of whom is still a great friend and married to another dude slightly older than me. Since you are using the past tense of "had 3 relationships", I'm assuming your failure rate is 100%. If in fact you are still with the 3rd person, your failure rate is 66%, thanks for proving my point.
emeraldgreen Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Since you are using the past tense of "had 3 relationships", I'm assuming your failure rate is 100%. If in fact you are still with the 3rd person, your failure rate is 66%, thanks for proving my point. ROFL. Am I supposed to marry every person I date? By your logic, every person who's ever dated is a failure. Thanks for proving you don't know ****. 1
Happy Lemming Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 (edited) Am I supposed to marry every person I date? Of course not, but if dating much younger women was so great and wonderful, why didn't you "put a ring on it"?? As for the OP, I do know when a young woman is trying to find a wallet to support her and her kid. This isn't going to end well. Let the single mothers date the single fathers. Edited May 30, 2019 by Happy Lemming 1
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 This is very early on for me with this woman and I’m just gonna see how it goes. Good plan. Last week weren't you just lamenting how bad OLD is? You really don't have to figure this all out right now. Get to know each other. Age is just a number but remember in your 60s when you are thinking about retirement, she's going to be focused on helping her son pay for college. 3
JuneL Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Why did everyone assume the younger woman is looking to mooch off of the older guy? Does the baby daddy not pay child support? 2
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 " Does the baby daddy not pay child support?" As she has sole custody, maybe not.
JuneL Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 " Does the baby daddy not pay child support?" As she has sole custody, maybe not. Shouldn’t the baby daddy be paying more if she has sole custody? 1
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Why did everyone assume the younger woman is looking to mooch off of the older guy? Does the baby daddy not pay child support? I wasn't assuming a mooching situation but a lifestyle clash. OP will be ready to stop working but the mom of the now 4 year old will be seeing him off to college & college is expensive. I assume she would want to help her child if she can. So while John999 may be ready to retire & kick back, she will not be able to at that moment. Just food for future thought but not something that has to be figured out right now.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 I find it kind of ridiculous when older men, especially single, never married 45+, are looking to have kids. And then use that to justify dating women in their 20s/early 30s. How on earth can anyone find that logical? Dude, just because biologically you can have kids, it doesn't mean you should. Time has passed you by. Granpa for a dad is not fair to the kid. I don't care how young someone looks, body is still aging, risk of various diseases and death is increasing. If you wanted kids, you should have done so 10 years ago. There is a time and place for everything. However, it's most often older men that get used and dumped. Younger women are well aware of their power in the situation and will use that to their advantage. The smart ones are subtle with gold-digging. Then they dump the old sperm guy and find a hottie their own age to settle down with.
alphamale Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Why did everyone assume the younger woman is looking to mooch off of the older guy? because that is usually the situation
Woggle Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Leonardo Dicaprio does this right. He never marries them and he changes up every couple of years. If you are going to date for superficial and shallow reasons this is the right way to approach it.
preraph Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 I think a woman of 30 with a child has a similar maturity level to a man your age. There could be generational differences that might bother both of you, but if she's always been with older guys, maybe not. Maybe she's been exposed to those generation cultural references. See, I bring that up, because anyone not roughly from my era, I am not connecting with. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Leonardo Dicaprio does this right. He never marries them and he changes up every couple of years. If you are going to date for superficial and shallow reasons this is the right way to approach it. Why are you assuming his reasons are shallow? I didn't get that at all from his original post. 1
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 52 yo men do not usually date 30yo single mothers off the internet for their intellect or personality do they?
Woggle Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Some men do fall in love with these younger women but it is a bad idea though 30 years old is different than dating a 24 year old. 1
JuneL Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Leonardo Dicaprio does this right. He never marries them and he changes up every couple of years. If you are going to date for superficial and shallow reasons this is the right way to approach it. Sure, if you have his cash and celebrity status (I wouldn’t include his looks, as I never find him all that attractive)
Woggle Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 Sure, if you have his cash and celebrity status (I wouldn’t include his looks, as I never find him all that attractive) I know that and I am sure he knows it. I obviously can't judge his looks but he is also a good actor. I do know a lot of mini Leos who date younger women though none of these women are models.
Sunlight72 Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 (edited) Hey OP, I'm 47, and had a year-long relationship with a woman who is 30 (who picked me up, in real life). My only experience with a notably younger woman. Really, just show up as yourself, see if you click as people, and have a fun time. Just like you would with any woman of any age. The only specific advice I have based on my 1 experience, and reflected by some other men's experiences with women around 30 years old is; don't take her word on who she is, what she wants, doesn't want, won't ever want, must have, etc. very seriously. She probably doesn't know yet, though she thinks she does, because she's hit the Big 3-Oh. If she fits this type, she will say things at the moment that she means !!Completely!!, and a few days/weeks later if you mention it, she'll say, "Oh no, I'd never do that!". This was something I'm not used to, and I really took her words to heart when I should have just nodded and carried on with my day. It can be fun though, to be goofy with it for a few minutes, so don't be a stick in the mud about it - just don't make your plans around her words. Thinking about it all after the fact, I think part of the dynamic she and a couple other women I know who are with notably older men, is that they feel like they are safe to be silly or emotional. I found this fun and new, and it allowed me to be a bit playful too. They don't get to be silly at work or with their mom or relatives, and they're kind of worried they're doing it wrong and may be a little dramatic. Laughing with her and letting her act like a silly kid sometimes is cute and helps her feel safe. Who doesn't want to be silly sometimes? But - you don't get to be silly around her. You can be humorous, spontaneous a bit, and cheerful, but she is safe to be silly because you are more steady. It's probably your natural state anyway, so just be your self - that's what she wants with you. BUT - that is all waaaay in the future. Just meet her and see if you each enjoy being together enough to spend another couple hours together, and repeat, repeat, repeat. Edited May 30, 2019 by Sunlight72 2
Gretchen12 Posted May 30, 2019 Posted May 30, 2019 But - you don't get to be silly around her. You can be humorous, spontaneous a bit, and cheerful, but she is safe to be silly because you are more steady. It's probably your natural state anyway, so just be your self - that's what she wants with you. Haha, yeah tell me about it! An older man trying to act young by acting like a teenager is the biggest turn off there is for the younger woman who's attracted to older men. If she had wanted a guy to act like a silly boy she'd be dating an actual young man, not an old wrinkled dude acting young. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 1, 2019 Posted June 1, 2019 I went on a few dates with a man 15 years older. Though he was a very cool guy, once the initial excitement faded, he seemed like an old man to me. I never tried to get things from him, but he tried to impress me with lavish dates, talk of expensive vacations, etc. After I broke it off, he went through a few bouts of trying to convince me to see him again, even offered to buy me expensive jewelry. I like dating somewhat older men, but more than 10 years is probably too much. 1
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