AnnaN88 Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 I started a new job almost 3 months ago and last month I realised I was really into one of my colleagues. He is very reserved and somehow shy and he does not really engage in small talk ( not only with me, but in general). I can’t say I know him very well or If I noticed him being interested in me. I am normally chatty and I get along with everyone, but this guy is a bit of a mystery to me. The only thing I know is that he is single. Today I found out that he is leaving as I received an email from his new company asking for references. I just realised that I don’t have much time left to get to know him and maybe I should try to ask him out. I was planing to get to know him better gradually, but that’s not an option now. The problem is I have never liked anyone at work before, I have always been against the idea of dating a coworker, plus there is no actual evidence that he is interested in me, so I am scared of making a fool of myself by asking him out. How can I show him I am interested without sounding like a crazy woman? The guy is nerdy, not very sociable, not flirty by nature and not the type that goes out with other guys after work for drinks or who socialises with the coworkers. Should I just forget about him or should I try my luck? And most important, how?
Camillus Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 Hi so and so It looks like you're moving on so how about I buy you lunch/a drink and wish you luck? 1
d0nnivain Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 Full stop. If you are in a position to write a recommendation for this work crush do absolutely nothing while he remains employed by the company. If you try to date him & then something happens to his new job you will be setting yourself up for a claim that you tanked his reference in retaliation for a bad date. You can use the request for the reference as a reason to ask him Qs about himself. About a week after he leaves reach out on a favorite social media platform, saying you hope the two of you can stay in touch. Then get a bunch of office mates together for a happy hour & invite him as a way to catch up & tell everybody about his new job. From there you can feel him out about possibly dating but absolutely not while you potentially hold his future in your hands. 1
preraph Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 ^ Agree. Plus, your description of him makes me wonder what you see in him.
Lotsgoingon Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 Did he tell you he gave your name to contact as a recommendation for the new job? If so, that's an opening to talk. But yes, be careful. This one is confusing. How confident are you in speaking about him in a recommendation? 1
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