Sassydiva Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 This is my ex..he will mention getting together to do this or that but doesn’t make any plan. He will have excuses saying he’s busy with this or that, but if someone is important to you, you make concrete plans. Feels like he is having me as backup plan, and is trying to keep me around in case nothing better comes along. He will initiate texts, we will text back and forth a few times then it’s radio silence until the next day. I sent him a text about us meeting up in person, but I haven’t gotten a response yet. Most likely he will reply tomorrow with an excuse or not at all, and just text me like I never sent the last text. Would it sound desperate to tell him to text or call me when he’s ready to meet up? Or is it better to just ignore his texts? he knows what he is doing. We only dated 5 months and really I should have ended it at 3...not like he’s the only guy and I feel maybe I’m selling myself short with him..
alphamale Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 well sassydiva he's your ex for a reason. move on 2
Author Sassydiva Posted May 27, 2019 Author Posted May 27, 2019 well sassydiva he's your ex for a reason. move onapparently, he doesn’t get moving on means no contact..but it seems to me he still likes the emotional support without any intention of making an effort...time to give him radio silence 2
The Outlaw Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Just ditch him. If he wanted to make time for you, it wouldn't be one excuse after the other. Sounds like you already know what you want to do.
Author Sassydiva Posted May 27, 2019 Author Posted May 27, 2019 Just ditch him. If he wanted to make time for you, it wouldn't be one excuse after the other. Sounds like you already know what you want to do.[/quote yup, ignore him...he’s clearly enjoying the attention and ego boost. 1
smackie9 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Whether he's your ex, a friend or someone you are dating, you don't put up with being treated like this. Block/delete. Move on...he's wasting your time, and he's a waste of time. 1
Author Sassydiva Posted May 27, 2019 Author Posted May 27, 2019 Whether he's your ex, a friend or someone you are dating, you don't put up with being treated like this. Block/delete. Move on...he's wasting your time, and he's a waste of time. yes 100% true 1
kendahke Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 This is my ex..he will mention getting together to do this or that but doesn’t make any plan. He will have excuses saying he’s busy with this or that, but if someone is important to you, you make concrete plans. Feels like he is having me as backup plan, and is trying to keep me around in case nothing better comes along. He will initiate texts, we will text back and forth a few times then it’s radio silence until the next day. I sent him a text about us meeting up in person, but I haven’t gotten a response yet. Most likely he will reply tomorrow with an excuse or not at all, and just text me like I never sent the last text. So this begs the question: if he's your EX, why are you dealing with him? It's not like he sprung this behavior on you last week. Would it sound desperate to tell him to text or call me when he’s ready to meet up? Or is it better to just ignore his texts? he knows what he is doing. We only dated 5 months and really I should have ended it at 3... You're well past the sounding part, OP. You're about 700 miles inland on that. not like he’s the only guy and I feel maybe I’m selling myself short with him.. Apparently, it must be if all of this is true. If you should have ended it at 3 months, why are you at 5 steaming towards 6? He isn't interested, but he's too chicken @#$@ to say that to you--he's hoping you'll buy a clue and vanish. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Just stop believing him. You are absolutely a back up plan, somebody to talk to when there is nothing better going on. Let him text you. Reply if it's convenient for you & never rely on any plan to meet 1
Beendaredonedat Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 apparently, he doesn’t get moving on means no contact..but it seems to me he still likes the emotional support without any intention of making an effort...time to give him radio silence I'd say a better option would be to block and delete him. If you should have ended the relationship long before it ended, why are you entertaining this dude? Close the door.
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 We only dated 5 months and really I should have ended it at 3... Pretend like you're at the 3 month point and then do what you should have done then -- good bye, block, delete, move on with your life. Stop d*cking yourself around. 1
stillafool Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 Would it sound desperate to tell him to text or call me when he’s ready to meet up? Or is it better to just ignore his texts? he knows what he is doing. We only dated 5 months and really I should have ended it at 3...not like he’s the only guy and I feel maybe I’m selling myself short with him.. He is your EX and you are selling yourself short. Why haven't you ended it and moved on by now? He isn't even half as invested as you are. What is so special about him when there are other men out there?
stillafool Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 apparently, he doesn’t get moving on means no contact..but it seems to me he still likes the emotional support without any intention of making an effort...time to give him radio silence Apparently neither do you. Block him so he can't contact you.
preraph Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 I mean, why would you want to be with someone who does this? Find a man who pays attention to you. If you've been letting him do booty calls, that explains everything. Men will always keep you around for an extra person to have sex with if you'll let them, even after a breakup. So stop doing that if that's what's going on. If it's not, he's just no one to keep because he doesn't do what he says and seems extremely lukewarm and like everyone else says, likes the ego boost of knowing someone is attracted to him. Dump him! Good grief you are setting a precedent here where he can literally act like a fickle louse and treat you like crap and you'll STILL put up with it. Do not for one moment think he will snap back into a good boyfriend once he knows you'll settle for nothing. He's lost all respect for you. He's nothing. Dump him.
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 (edited) apparently, he doesn’t get moving on means no contact..but it seems to me he still likes the emotional support without any intention of making an effort...time to give him radio silence You're accusing him of being "slow on the uptake". You're just as guilty a) because you didn't break up with him at 3 months like you thought you should have and b) for tolerating and entertaining his reach outs since the break up. Women often just start focusing on the behavior of the ex and have all these questions instead of focusing on the solution. They just don't realize that they have some control over how things can go. Think inside the box -- you can't change what he does, you can change what you do/how you deal with him/it. More than that though, if you decide to take action, don't be wishy-washy about it because that's basically what he's doing -- being wishy-washy with you. Stop that cycle. Edited May 28, 2019 by Redhead14 1
Author Sassydiva Posted May 28, 2019 Author Posted May 28, 2019 I'd say a better option would be to block and delete him. If you should have ended the relationship long before it ended, why are you entertaining this dude? Close the door. Agree..he is not a good person at all. He plays constant mind games and the texts were just too boost his inflated ego...block, delete and ignore.. 1
oceanblue12 Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 you are obviously not a priority to him so, maybe it is better to close the door for dating wise
Beachead Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 Hi Sassydiva, I just wanted to ask a couple of questions just to get a better idea of your situation, before I post. 1.When did you do break up? 2.Who broke up with who? 3.What was the reason? 4.Why did you continue to stay in touch with him? - Beach
The Outlaw Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 He's an ex for a reason. Let him eat silence. No doubt he won't care but you won't be there to stroke his fragile ego either.
Author Sassydiva Posted May 28, 2019 Author Posted May 28, 2019 Hi Sassydiva, I just wanted to ask a couple of questions just to get a better idea of your situation, before I post. 1.When did you do break up? 2.Who broke up with who? 3.What was the reason? 4.Why did you continue to stay in touch with him? - Beach He did..a couple times..then would start talking to me again..clearly he isn’t as great as he thinks (all he talks about is himself) Broke up a month ago. I guess I didn’t want to cut him off..probably in my mind I thought we could rekindle our relationship.
Author Sassydiva Posted May 28, 2019 Author Posted May 28, 2019 He's an ex for a reason. Let him eat silence. No doubt he won't care but you won't be there to stroke his fragile ego either. when and if he texts again, I won’t be his text buddy when he needs someone to confide in or stroke his fragile ego. 1
Beachead Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 (edited) He did..a couple times..then would start talking to me again..clearly he isn’t as great as he thinks (all he talks about is himself) Broke up a month ago. I guess I didn’t want to cut him off..probably in my mind I thought we could rekindle our relationship. No rekindling. Forget him. To him, you're just a means to pass the time, a backup plan etc. If he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. In a healthy relationship, there would not be any games, on and off or hot and cold bullsh*t. You wouldn't have that feeling off "What does this guy want?" You would just know. He'd be invested in a future with you so he wouldn't risk doing things that would have him lose you. He knows he'd regret it. He knows what he has and he values it. In general, he'd show a lot of love and it would just make you trust him and feel confident in the relationship. Whatever misunderstandings there are between you two would be bridged via communication. There is always forward momentum in a healthy relationship. In an unhealthy relationship, you start to feel the way you do. Because you continued to take him back the first few times, he got used to getting away with his behaviour. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. So, if a guy like him keeps breaking up with you, breaks your heart and comes back and you take him back..you teach him that despite his crappy behaviour, he loses nothing and you'll always be there. In the end you disrespect yourself and coincidently teach him to not value you or respect you either. Cut it off. Block him off of your social media if you haven't done so already and delete his number. Never reply again. Begin to look forward and leave him in the rearview mirror with all the other things in the past. Done and done. I learned a valuable lesson long time ago. Took me most my life to learn it actually: We are ultimately in charge of our well being. So, make sure you take care of yourself. If you don't and let people treat you like this, it can wear on your emotions and bleed into other parts of your life. Career, family, friendships, your ability to find joy in life. You may miss opportunities. May even stop you from meeting someone new who was actually a good fit for you. In extreme cases, you can wind up broken, depressed, suicidal. You don't want to a piece of crap like this guy to affect you like that right? Get it done. - Beach Edited May 28, 2019 by Beachead 1
Author Sassydiva Posted May 29, 2019 Author Posted May 29, 2019 (edited) no way..it’s clear by his behavior that he doesn’t give a sh** about me because otherwise, he would do whatever it took to keep me in his life..he just wants to talk to me in his spare time. Edited May 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
Beachead Posted May 29, 2019 Posted May 29, 2019 @Sassydiva Indeed. Well it sounds like you're good then. Stay strong - Beach
Author Sassydiva Posted May 29, 2019 Author Posted May 29, 2019 Dunno why it was so hard to do..but I did it..he was stringing me along keeping me as a backup plan, which I’m not accepting. We kept talking but it was going nowhere..when I expressed how I felt, he got disrespectful with me..then the most recent events were him taking hours to reply to a text with the excuse that he wasn’t near my phone..which I don’t think he is an honest person either..so better to get rid of him completely..too many lapses in his communication 2
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