tulip1989 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Last xmas i slept with a long time family friend for the first time. I’ve always found him kinda attractive. We were getting drunk in a big group at his house, and I asked to sleep over. He gave me his bed, but I really wanted to have sex so i pulled him into bed with me and snuggled with him. He was quite resistant at first, saying ‘as much as I want to, it will make things weird’. I pushed for it and eventually he gave in and we did the deed. We kissed a little in bed the next morning and he was trying it on, but I resisted this time because I was feeling kinda fragile. When I left I said ‘see you next time!’ And he said ‘yeah, maybe next christmas!’. He texted me later to say it was fun, but unexpected, and wished me a good trip - i was going on holiday next day. A few weeks after, he asked me if I wanted to come along to a night with some friends. I said i needed a break from drinking as things got kinda wild over christmas. He said no worries and then he didn’t get in touch with me again for a few months. Later, his brother sent a text to our whatsapp group asking if any of us wanted to take a trip to amsterdam. He said that he could only do one weekend, but that he wanted to go, and I wanted to go that weekend too. Nobody else could make it, so i texted him to make arrangements. He was nice and friendly, and he seemed OK about going at the same time. So we booked it and off we went. When we were in amsterdam there was kind of a flirty vibe, i was teasing him a little bit, and he made a few little cracks about the christmas thing. At one point, I said to him ‘it’s nice to reconnect after last time’ and his reply confused me a bit. He said ‘yeah, it was fun, but it was what it was. It was definitely all you, i wasn’t sure if it was a good idea but you pushed for it. I’m glad it hasn’t made things weird’. I don’t know why but this made me feel a bit flat. Later on we were in a bar and i was talking to another guy for about 30 mins, until he came over and said we were leaving. I reckon he was a bit jealous so I said that to him, and he just laughed it off. Later on in the night he said ‘i reckon you like me’ and when I told him I definitely didn’t, he just said ‘yeah, you do’, and walked away. When we got back to the apartment, I got into his brother’s bed as we only had a sofa to sleep on. The guy came in and said ‘he doesn’t want you to sleep in his bed, sleep on the sofa!’ - after a while I moved to the sofa and he climbed on next to me and said he wanted a cuddle. I let him for a bit but he got a bit handsy so I kicked him off. The next morning he said ‘sorry if that was a bit inappropriate last night’. He was in a really annoying mood for the rest of the day, not really talking to me but being nice to his brother. After we got back, he texted me to say he had a good time, but I was kinda confused by it so i just sent him emojis. The next week, he messaged me saying that he wanted to see me, but I told him that I didn’t think our feelings/intentions matched. He asked me what I thought his intentions were, and I really didn’t know what he wanted me to say to that. He said he just wanted to talk to me one on one to get a bit more clarity, but I thought this would just be kinda stupid so I told him to get over it, i’ll see him next time and that’s all that needed to be said. He told me off for being rude and said ‘try not to drink so much next time’. And that was it. Why can’t this guy just accept that I don’t like him? I feel like he’s making things weirder by pushing me to meet him one on one, and move away from a chilled ‘see you when i see you’ kinda vibe. He needs to give me space.
TooBad Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Sure. It's not like you gave out mixed signals at all. Or feel entitled to get what you want, when you want it. 5
Author tulip1989 Posted May 27, 2019 Author Posted May 27, 2019 Sure. It's not like you gave out mixed signals at all. Or feel entitled to get what you want, when you want it. Are you being sarcastic?
Flame Aura Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 I'm confused.. you said he's attractive, you pushed to sleep with him, then at the end that you don't like him? Must be a troll surely..
chillii Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Just one more fkg i , nah l better not fill the last one in.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 That's the problem with having a casual one night fling with someone you know. Even when you both claim it's no big deal and nothing needs to change, sex has a habit of complicating things. One person is bound to make a bigger deal out of it. Do I think he keeps bringing it up because he wants to start a romantic relationship with you? No. Do I think he keeps bringing it up out of guilt for crossing the line? Possibly. However, I think the most likely scenario is that he is trying to test whether you could handle having sex with him again, with no strings attached. Right now you are acting like you aren't bothered, which might make you FWB material, but any time you have softened, ie: “It's nice to reconnect after last time”, he immediately shut it down and emphasized it being a one time only thing, that youtalked him into. Poor guy! It didn't take him long to try get in your pants after drinking that night though, did it? That's what this is all about. He still wants to get laid, and you were more than willing last time, but he knows he doesn't want things to go further than that. He has been crystal clear in that regard. So now you know his motive, you won't be surprised when he does it again. He may feel slightly guilty about it, but deep down what he really wants is for you to initiate sex with him again, but not get attached. I think you are wise to seek space from to be honest. He has nothing meaningful to offer you.
Author tulip1989 Posted May 27, 2019 Author Posted May 27, 2019 Just one more fkg i , nah l better not fill the last one in. What does this mean?
TooBad Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Reading your previous threads has made me confused. Are you male or female ? Just for clarity, not that it changes anything.
Curiousroxy86 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Sure. It's not like you gave out mixed signals at all. Or feel entitled to get what you want, when you want it. Omg I so agree! If this is sarcasm it’s well done and a pretty good summary on what I read from Op 2
ExpatInItaly Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 OP, you ask what his deal is, but the same could be asked of you. I can't figure out whether you like this guy or not, or are pretending not to like him so you don't get hurt if he doesn't feel the same way. You seem like you're all over the place with your own feelings about him. 1
smackie9 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Stop playing games and clear the f-ing air.....pull him aside and say it was a one time thing, sorry if I gave you the impression there would be more to it. Let's just leave it at that and carry on as friends.
kendahke Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Later, his brother sent a text to our whatsapp group asking if any of us wanted to take a trip to amsterdam. He said that he could only do one weekend, but that he wanted to go, and I wanted to go that weekend too. Nobody else could make it, so i texted him to make arrangements. He was nice and friendly, and he seemed OK about going at the same time. So we booked it and off we went. You went to Amsterdam with his brother and no one else? Because that's how this reads.
Versacehottie Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 i'm totally confused. If you want to be the poster child for mixed signals, you are on your way. 2
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Poor guy. You all but force sex on him. Then you start playing mind games. This sounds like BPD.
Redhead14 Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 Guys don't like to be teased and toyed with. He will figure this out soon, I'd say and then he will block you.
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