waltereed Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Hi All, I met a woman Friday out of the blue and made a connection just talking with her. I inviited her to go the the Nationals baseball game for a non specific time in the future. I get tickets to games at the last minute so I told her I would call her and invite her when that happened. I got her cell phone number and we texted each other just to confirm numbers were correct. I don't really want to call and talk to her on the phone much before hand. Just want the first date to be the ball game since it's a fun event with free food and drinks. I don't want her to think I've forgotten about her or her to think that I've lost interest. I could take her out for dinner next week. I value all of your advice so please chime in with the best way to keep her interest up without appearing needy, etc.
smackie9 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 You doing this all backwards....why didn't you just ask her for a coffee date or a light date before hand FIRST, and see how that goes, then suggest the ball game. That would open the door to texting in between and maybe meeting up more before hand. Just me but I would never accept a date that was so far in advance. Better get on it and ask her to meet up for drinks or something so you can TALK and get to know one another. Just letting you know that when you "take your time" another guy has the opportunity to swoop in and take her interest. 3
Author waltereed Posted May 26, 2019 Author Posted May 26, 2019 Thanks Smackie, You're right. I'll call her to meet for dinner next week and we can get to know each other better. Then when the next game comes around we will be more relaxed with each other. Cheers. 1
preraph Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Maybe it's just me, but I would never accept a date to a baseball game at all, much less a first date, because they last too long and are boring unless you're just really a huge baseball fan. Did you even ask if she liked baseball and if she'd ever BEEN to a game so she knew what she was getting into? 2
greenlights0000 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 What’s wrong with going to a baseball game on the first date? It’s causal and fun, it’s the thing to go to in the summertime. Why the heck would you pay for dinner date beforehand? So what if its long...if you happen to not like her just call it a night and go home, besides there are bars in the stadium where you can get private time. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 (edited) Because you don't yet know when you will get tickets you erred by promising to take her at some point in the future. It's too vague & she thinks you were just blowing smoke. Dinner would be better. If you don't want to spring for dinner ask her to meet in you in some sports bar for a drink to watch part of the game on TV or heck, go to a batting cage. You certainly should not blow up her phone but if these tickets don't come through in the next couple of days, by the time you reach out next month or however long it takes, a call from some random dude saying do you want to go to the game with me tonight at the last minute will get you a rejection not a date. Edited May 26, 2019 by d0nnivain 3
devilish innocent Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I think if you waited until you got tickets to the ball game, it could turn her off. First, it would seem you're in no rush to see her. Second, you're waiting until tickets fall into your lap rather than bothering to plan anything. Third, you expect her to be available on short notice. It could come across as you're only inviting her because you're just looking for anybody to go with you, yet you want her to drop her other plans for you. If she had any hesitation about going and she posted about it here, I bet many people would tell her not to bother. Asking her out for dinner now sounds like a better plan. 1
alphamale Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Maybe it's just me, but I would never accept a date to a baseball game at all, much less a first date, because they last too long and are boring unless you're just really a huge baseball fan. Did you even ask if she liked baseball and if she'd ever BEEN to a game so she knew what she was getting into? if she genuinely likes him it doesn't really matter where he takes her 2
Lotsgoingon Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Great question. My view: you yourself can tell this idea isn't the greatest by the fact that it's unpredictable ... and she and you can't guarantee she'll be free when you get the last-minute ticket. Simplify. Ask her out ... go for a walk somewhere ... Baseball game can last a long time. You sure that's what you want to do ... Might all work out ... she might indeed like your style ... and be up for the last-minute arrangement ... But you're stressing ... so that says to me ... find an easier way ... Ask her for drinks ... or coffee and a walk ... just get together in a planned way ... before you get together in the last-minute way. 1
alphamale Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 sorry but taking her for a walk on the 1st date is an epic fail 2
Redhead14 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 What’s wrong with going to a baseball game on the first date? It’s causal and fun, it’s the thing to go to in the summertime. Why the heck would you pay for dinner date beforehand? So what if its long...if you happen to not like her just call it a night and go home, besides there are bars in the stadium where you can get private time. There's nothing wrong with going to a baseball game on the first date. But, he doesn't even know if he can get tickets or when. At least invite her out for drinks until then and keep in good touch until you get tickets. If you really like her, you need to show her some how in between. If I were the woman, I wouldn't be sitting around waiting for this guy to come up with some tickets. Asking a woman on a date without specifics is lame and kinda says low interest at best. Taking your time doesn't mean being slow to pin down details. Taking your time means not taking her to bed on the first or second or third date and spending real time getting to know each other. 3
Lotsgoingon Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 sorry but taking her for a walk on the 1st date is an epic fail No more epic fail than a baseball game ... and of course, you can stop and go inside some place on the walk ... I've had great success with walks. 2
alphamale Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 No more epic fail than a baseball game ... and of course, you can stop and go inside some place on the walk ... I've had great success with walks. I don't know, a "walk date" sounds uninspired and cheap. He only has one date to make a positive impression... 1
Author waltereed Posted May 26, 2019 Author Posted May 26, 2019 (edited) Thanks all for the great answers. Appreciate the responses. In reality, we won't have to stay for the entire game. I told her the game would be a couple of weeks from now and she was excited about it. It's the PNC Diamond club here at Washington Nationals ballpark so it's a fairly classy place to go. I've done the same in the past many times with friends and new acquaintances and it's been a good time. I like what AlphaMale said about if she likes me then it doesn't really matter where we go. We will have fun no matter where. To me it's a good way to meet initially meet a woman. A door opener. If they say no then they do not have the same adventurous spirit that I have and it's just as well. I will now call her to talk just briefly and make a date for next week for dinner. Edited May 26, 2019 by waltereed
preraph Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 if she genuinely likes him it doesn't really matter where he takes her She doesn't even know him and that was going to be the first date, what six hours? 1
preraph Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 You didn't answer my question. Did you ask her if she even likes baseball? "It's ok" is a no.
Author waltereed Posted May 26, 2019 Author Posted May 26, 2019 Hi Preraph. Feel free to read my last post where I mentioned that we could leave before the end of the game so it wouldn't be an entire six hour ordeal. 1
The Outlaw Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 The traditional dinner and a movie would be the best bet here. That way, you can at least get to know her better on a personal level and determine if you think you're compatible, with no distractions. Then go from there. 1
Foxhall Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Good work to get the phone number, in my experience women like to get potential relationships moving fairly quickly so I would also suggest having a date in the next two weeks rather than waiting for the baseball game, you have generated some early momentum so take advantage of that, dinner, coffee, walk, I see all of them as good options, "I do not like baseball by the way but then again you probably do not like horse racing or football" 1
preraph Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Hi Preraph. Feel free to read my last post where I mentioned that we could leave before the end of the game so it wouldn't be an entire six hour ordeal. So that's a no. Has she put something on her profile that makes you at least know she's into sports?
olivetree Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Preraph, I don't think they met online. They met "out of the blue" in real life. I think everything so far is good but you should keep in touch and see each other before the game since it will likely be a couple of weeks away, which seems to be the plan anyway. As alphamale said, if I was really attracted to a guy, I would just be excited to spend time with him and get to know him. Wouldn't matter too much what we were doing. 3
alphamale Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 The traditional dinner and a movie would be the best bet here. That way, you can at least get to know her better on a personal level and determine if you think you're compatible, with no distractions. Then go from there. I would agree with this
frus69 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 If you want to take your time, I take it that you just want to go with the flow, and whatever happens happens? Then you inevitably run the risk of her losing interest. She will lose interest with your lukewarm approach and/or some other guy will snatch her. You either wish she was on the same page as you (also just wants whatever) or you up your game and get her. 2
kendahke Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 (edited) One of the loveliest first meetings I've had (because we apparently read each other's profiles before contacting one another) was when we met at a park bench and we each had a thermos of our favorite hot beverage and we brought a book we each liked and proceeded to have a really fun and interesting first meeting. It turned into dinner and I saw him a couple of times more. I got into T.S. Elliot and spicy chai tea because of it. He ended up moving for his job, so there's that, but it was original and it left a sweet impression. Mind you--we were both in our early-mid 50's. You might find a more decisive approach will work in your favor, rather than taking this "dip your toe in the water 50 times" approach. Carpe diem!--but you don't have to be hamfisted about it. Edited May 27, 2019 by kendahke
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Maybe it's just me, but I would never accept a date to a baseball game at all, much less a first date, because they last too long and are boring unless you're just really a huge baseball fan. Did you even ask if she liked baseball and if she'd ever BEEN to a game so she knew what she was getting into? Totally agree!
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