Electrogrrl Posted September 23, 2005 Posted September 23, 2005 So after a tumultuous, nearly 2 year relationship, I finally got up the nerve to leave my b/f 2 weeks ago. It was awkward as this weekend was supposed to be our 2 year anniversary but I wanted to do it before then cause I thought it would be even worse if he took me some place nice or bought me something expensive for our anniversary (it just seems shady and I'm not into that). Basically the first week, he did the drunk dialing and the text messaging and even went so far as to get an account on myspace cause he knows I'm a member and am always checking my messages on it. This irritated me. He was just not getting the NC thing. Finally I called him to tell him to stop contacting me at which point he tried to convince that I made the wrong decision and that I still really loved him (I do love him, as a friend, but I had long since fallen out of love with him due to the bs that he put me through so often). I finally somehow managed to get it through to him that I would not be having a change of heart and he left me alone for a couple days. Then he sent me another text message (while we both happened to be drunk) and I called back cause I couldn't make sense of it. We both kinda laughed about it the next day cause he couldn't remember what he was trying to say either. Then he sent me an email telling me what the text was about: He said that a sense of history compelled him to invite me out for a drink this weekend as it was supposed to be our 2 year. That way we could get closure on this chapter in our lives and move on (although I feel I've moved on already..I am such a happier person now). I told him "maybe". It would only be two weeks since the break up and I am not too sure how comfortable I would be. Is this too soon to see him? Would it be like pouring salt in a wound?? I somehow feel as if I owe him this so that HE can get closure and move on as well though I don't want any kinda drama...
Topper Posted September 23, 2005 Posted September 23, 2005 Be polite but make it clear that it would be a very bad idea for the two of you to have a drink or anything else at this time. If i were you i would make plans to be out of town for the week end. Go someplace anyplace that he can't find you and relax. Leave the cell phone at home buy a cheapo pay by min phone if you need to be in touch with Family or for emergency use.
chocolate_boy Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 Yeah having just broke up with my partner yesterday, I fully intent to have ABSOLUTELY no contact (no calls, sms, email even) for at LEAST a month, maybe even 3 (maybe even ever again). However I'd say at the very least 4 weeks of absolutely no contact is essential... starting from NOW hun x
lynnered Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 i think when its over its over, NC no more not never ever, thats just me , it didnt work out why do U need/want this person in your life? If U dont want the drama in Ur life dont accept it , if U want to give him closure ,i think thats great but dont let yourself feel as if U owe him anything. the way hes acting he sounds as if he will hold you back . goodluck
georgiagirl76 Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 If you know that it is 100% over then don't go. You mentioned that you thought you owed it to him- if you want to help him get through this don't contact him at all and don't see him. I am currently going through a break-up/ we need space and the worst thing for me is the mixed signals. It has been two weeks today and I have done NC ever since. My ex said a lot of things like- I just need space, I love you and I am sure we will see each other again and possibly get back together. That is worse than "GET OUT OF MY LIFE" Mixed signals only complicate things and even if you are clear that you are over him he may still misinterpret you trying to give him closure as a signal that there is hope for a reconciliation.
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