kendahke Posted June 7, 2019 Posted June 7, 2019 But I don't buy that women don't like OLD. the vast majority of us don't.
SugarLips72 Posted June 7, 2019 Posted June 7, 2019 I’m 47 and it’s harder and harder to date my age no matter how you do it. I am very picky. I have minor kids still. Online dating mostly a joke. Full of guys who just want to get laid or have nothing going for them or just want to waste my time. I currently have an ad on POF. I met some guy who is 40 who literally lives down he street from me. He just moved to an apt a few miles away. We’ve seen each other almost daily for 3 weeks. Who knows maybe I finally met someone. There is a lot of garbage online though.
Poke Posted June 7, 2019 Posted June 7, 2019 I recently helped a friend of mine start an account on Tinder and POF. She is a charming girl, fun to be around and a good conversationalist. She's also very overweight and average looking, but with a great smile. She wanted to find someone decent to build a life with, so I thought I would help her out. So far, she has around 50 matches on Tinder and around 100 guys on POF that want to meet her. According to her, she gets a new crew of guys every day that show up hitting on her. She is talking to a dozen guys at a time, drops some of them and replaces them with new ones daily. She's been on a date with one guy that she is iffy about, and has hooked up with one guy because he was really good looking to her. She also has another date planned to hook up with a new guy that again, is very good looking. Despite her being completely out of shape, the guys hitting on her are often in good shape, one dude was absolutely ripped even. I think a part of her knows these dudes just wanna get laid, but she is now addicted to it. She's gone from wanting a nice guy to build a life with to saying today that she wants a bunch of guys to hang out with. That is what's up with OLD. Your friend is ok with being used like that? She may have around 100 guys who want to meet her and talking to a dozen guys, but she is doing someone like me no favors. I’m not fat and get constantly told I’m beautiful. I have so many guys who want to meet me and I get so many messages that I have to sometimes hide my POF profile to keep up with it all. Despite saying in my profile I don’t want a *uck buddy, I have to weed out so many creeps because apparently they think if they can get someone easy like your friend I’m fair game as well? No the blame isn’t entirely hers, but..... 1
guest569 Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 Well they ain't getting any of this low hanging fruit. Yuck. 1
BluEyeL Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 OLD is horrible indeed, and it was a nightmare, but I wouldn’t have met my husband otherwise so I’m very grateful. It didn’t even take that long . I was only on match and didn’t get hundreds of Messages. Still got enough dates , a few creeps and losers, lots of disappointment that hurt, sure, but overall, I’m happier for having done it. I’d do it again, in principle. Although if God Forbid, something bad happens and I’m single again when I’m , say, 55 or 60, not sure I’d bother anymore. I think I’d focus on having a big circle of girlfriends to travel, go to lunches and book clubs with . Maybe even live with another woman as roommates? Why not ? As we get older men we have most access to also are even older than us , we have health issues, they have health issues. I don’t see myself dealing with OLD and creepy old men at older ages. But who knows ... sometimes you think you’d do this and not do that but we never know what we’d actually do. yeah OLD is soul destroying. But it can work. 2
TheFinalWord Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 (edited) Your friend is ok with being used like that? For a guy she is attracted to? Yes, most women do. That's why 50 Shades of Grey is so popular. A guy that pushes a girls buttons the right way, she will throw all her standards out the window. I've seen it enough times...heck, we see it on these forums all the time. Dudes date down, find girls not as attractive as themselves, and bang the low hanging fruit. This is what I am talking about with an abundance mindset that the other posters are not seeming to understand... With OLD, women are able to match, date, hook up, with men ABOVE their looks match. With OLD, women's sexual market value is artificially inflated. A guy that is a 5 will message a girl that is a 4. This happens enough that a girl that is a 4, now perceives she is a 5. Then when men that are 4s (her looks match) message her, she doesn't respond. This in turn leads to a lot of men who are at her looks match or (God forbid) lower, ending up with nothing. This happens enough that now 30% of men 18-30 years of age in the USA reported having no sex in 2018. Up from 20% in 2008. The only variable that has changed in the dating world from 2008 to 2018 is that now OLD is highly prevalent. So, there's something going on with OLD that has lead to 10% more men having no sexual partners, while women's number of sexual partners has barely budged. Edited June 8, 2019 by TheFinalWord 1
guest569 Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 Blah blah fake statistics and fake observations. Who are you to tell us all what 'attractiveness score' we get, and what score all of our matches are? How do you know who is hooking up with who? You're talking out of your butt. 3
Veronica73 Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 Women get so much attention with OLD that their actual sexual market value is inflated. In other words, if we were limited to only real life, a woman that is a 5, would generally only get approached by a guy that is a 5 and all things being equal people would date their looks match. .... OLD puts women in abundance mindset. Women are in an abundance mindset in real life as well. women are already in "abundance mindset" in real life (without OLD) the majority of women can get laid whenever they want - and attractive women have a plethora of choices in everything Exactly. Well they ain't getting any of this low hanging fruit. Yuck. I’m with you, lol!!! This is what I am talking about with an abundance mindset that the other posters are not seeming to understand... With OLD, women are able to match, date, hook up, with men ABOVE their looks match. With OLD, women's sexual market value is artificially inflated. A guy that is a 5 will message a girl that is a 4. This happens enough that a girl that is a 4, now perceives she is a 5. Then when men that are 4s (her looks match) message her, she doesn't respond. Baloney. Women have always been able to hook up with men above their looks match (or score or whatever metric you are trying to describe.) Women have always been able to get laid whenever they want. And with “high status” men. It’s not difficult. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy for women to find a good, exclusive, long term relationship with a quality person. 1
guest569 Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 IME it's actually not that easy to hook up - not as easy as these men are making it out to be. Perhaps because I'm a 1/10. 1
elaine567 Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 With OLD, women are able to match, date, hook up, with men ABOVE their looks match. With OLD, women's sexual market value is artificially inflated. A guy that is a 5 will message a girl that is a 4. This happens enough that a girl that is a 4, now perceives she is a 5. Then when men that are 4s (her looks match) message her, she doesn't respond. This in turn leads to a lot of men who are at her looks match or (God forbid) lower, ending up with nothing. It's called market forces. The looks classification as a marker for matching is flawed as it doesn't correlate well with success in dating. If she is in demand then she is not a 4 as per her looks grade ie below average, she is a 5, 6, 7, 8 in the market place and if he is not in any demand then he is not a 4 as per his looks grade, he is a 2 or a 3 in the market place. As the market place is what really matters, all this grading due to looks is irrelevant in reality. Who cares if you are a 7 in the looks department if you cannot get a date to save your life... 2
TheFinalWord Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 (edited) It's called market forces.. It's called artificial inflation. Market forces lead to equilibrium. Artificial inflation has led to the number of men having no sex in the past decade to triple. Baloney. Women have always been able to hook up with men above their looks match (or score or whatever metric you are trying to describe.) Women have always been able to get laid whenever they want. And with “high status” men. It’s not difficult. Okay Ms. Bologna, what is your theory for why the number of men not having sex in the past decade has tripled? Number Of Men Under 30 Not Having Sex Has Tripled In The Past Decade, Many Millennials Aren’t Interested In Sex You're telling me, women on any given night, can have 300-500 new men hit on them above their looks level, or whatever ranking you want to give it. I call salami on top your bologna. The last girl I dated, showed me her Bumble. She came into my town and had 300 matches having arrived after only 1 hour. Prior to OLD, an average woman could not have that many men hitting on her, even going to 50 bars (there aren't enough bars in a single town). Having men hit on your is one thing, but that is NOT abundance. Abundance is when you are average looking but have HUNDREDS of potential dates within a few hours of arriving to a new location. I challenge you to give me any other scenario where average women can have that much access to men aside from OLD. What you are describing is having options. That's not the same thing as abundance. Edited June 8, 2019 by TheFinalWord
Veronica73 Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 (edited) Probably because they are relying on online dating. Which is terrible if you aren’t that physically attractive. Which applies to a lot of men. Even though they think they are entitled to women they think are 7s or above. And I guess our ideas of abundance differ. Being able to get laid anytime I want, being able to get dates easiily, being able to get into relationships easily, means abundance to me. I wouldn’t want to sift through 300-500 dudes. That’s disgusting. (Edit) Also abundant easy, free, anonymous access to loads of porn. Edited June 8, 2019 by Veronica73
elaine567 Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 Quick guess - the widespread availability of porn and the reduction of IRL interactions generally. Men do not NEED to go find a woman for sex, they do not NEED to even leave their room. Fear and laziness sets in. The "hunger" that would have spurred men on to find a mate, is assuaged by porn. Social interactions are limited and once a pattern of real life social and sexual avoidance is ingrained, finding a real woman is almost impossible. 3
Veronica73 Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 So, there's something going on with OLD that has lead to 10% more men having no sexual partners, while women's number of sexual partners has barely budged. Really?? According to the article you just posted, in 2008 8 percent of women weren’t having sex, and in 2018, 18 percent of women weren’t having sex. Looks like 10 percent. 2
BluEyeL Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 Oh, cry me a river again about how tough it is for men to get laid and about those 300 matches fat women get. I personally didn’t go online to get laid and I tend to believe many women are like me. On the contrary, I felt I spent a lot of energy trying to NOT get laid with some stranger. And btw, good sex is hard to find. Limp dicks a plenty. It seems we have different objectives. The envy at the number of getting laid opportunities women have online compare to men is just silly. It’s hard for both sexes to meet their primary objective online (or offline). And it’s not fun to go there and be put in looks categories like you are at a meat market . Gross! That’s what makes OLD horrible. This attitude. 1
Shining One Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 IME it's actually not that easy to hook up - not as easy as these men are making it out to be. Perhaps because I'm a 1/10.Have you actually tried? Here's how another female Loveshack poster put it.Once I met this guy online who said he wasn't looking for a relationship. So one night I texted him 'come over so I can **** you' and he did. Do this to a woman it probably won't work.That seems pretty easy to me. Have you tried it?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 I personally didn’t go online to get laid and I tend to believe many women are like me. On the contrary, I felt I spent a lot of energy trying to NOT get laid with some stranger. :lmao: This made me laugh because it's so true. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 Although if God Forbid, something bad happens and I’m single again when I’m , say, 55 or 60, not sure I’d bother anymore. I think I’d focus on having a big circle of girlfriends to travel, go to lunches and book clubs with . Maybe even live with another woman as roommates? Why not ? My mom has two friends who live this way. They are younger than her and probably started living together in their early fifties. I remember 15 years ago thinking, "they are of course gay!" and asking my mom that, who said no they definitely are not gay. (They are both very religious) I didn't get it at all....why these two ladies would essentially create a life together if they were not gay. Now that I'm 46....I totally get it! 2
BluEyeL Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 My mom has two friends who live this way. They are younger than her and probably started living together in their early fifties. I remember 15 years ago thinking, "they are of course gay!" and asking my mom that, who said no they definitely are not gay. (They are both very religious) I didn't get it at all....why these two ladies would essentially create a life together if they were not gay. Now that I'm 46....I totally get it! I guess when you’re done wanting to take care of someone, and your sex drive goes down, you can share a home with another woman, for companionship and mutual help. I heard many women over 50 do that. 2
JuneL Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 For a guy she is attracted to? Yes, most women do. That's why 50 Shades of Grey is so popular. A guy that pushes a girls buttons the right way, she will throw all her standards out the window. I've seen it enough times...heck, we see it on these forums all the time. You missed the point. Anna was emotionally attracted to Grey; she was falling in love with him. For some/many women, it is gross having sex with a guy you’re not emotionally invested in, even if he’s physically very attractive. I understand this concept is very hard for some guys to grasp, as they can readily have sex with women whom they’re not attracted to, emotionally or physically. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 8, 2019 Posted June 8, 2019 I suppose it's true that dating apps are sort of like food-ordering apps, in that most people approach them with the thought to conjure up something tasty for relatively short-term pleasure. That's not how I've ever approached dating and relationships, so I see through the temptations pretty easily. Of course there are pick-of-the-litter men on dating apps scooping up naive women to pump & dump them. I could always see through these guys from a mile away. They're not hard to figure out. They're hot, but usually not very smart. But I can see how it's frustrating for other guys that some women fall for it. You're just going to have to find ways to differentiate yourself as the best pick. Men are wired to compete for dating/mating access. Mae West said it well: "A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him." A bunch of random hooking up isn't good for men or women in the long run.
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