Gretchen12 Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 Its a system that doesn't work and something new has to happen because meeting new people digitally isn't going away, it has to be refined though. What do you think of letting members post reviews about people they went on dates with? Online commerce allows people to leave feedback for restsurants and products. You can even review your doctor or your professor. Of course some people might leave nasty reviews. But then the nastiness would reflect badly on the reviewer. If a lot of women vouch for a guy being a gentleman, even if it turns out they didn't match, I'd be influenced by that. And I wonder if being accountable this way would reduce the incidences of ghosting.
alphamale Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 What do you think of letting members post reviews about people they went on dates with? Online commerce allows people to leave feedback for restsurants and products. You can even review your doctor or your professor. Of course some people might leave nasty reviews. But then the nastiness would reflect badly on the reviewer. If a lot of women vouch for a guy being a gentleman, even if it turns out they didn't match, I'd be influenced by that. And I wonder if being accountable this way would reduce the incidences of ghosting. but the guy who was labeled a gentleman wouldn't get any dates 2
CLS63AMG Posted May 25, 2019 Posted May 25, 2019 What do you think of letting members post reviews about people they went on dates with? Online commerce allows people to leave feedback for restsurants and products. You can even review your doctor or your professor. Of course some people might leave nasty reviews. But then the nastiness would reflect badly on the reviewer. If a lot of women vouch for a guy being a gentleman, even if it turns out they didn't match, I'd be influenced by that. And I wonder if being accountable this way would reduce the incidences of ghosting. Years ago there were reviews on POF, any rejected guy that left a glowing review looked like a super beta and any girl with a lot of reviews - well, use your imagination. Its not the way to go, the tech has to change all together. 1
kendahke Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 have you tried Our Time or a site designed for people who are over 50? You'd be the young guy there. OurTime is infested with scammers because of the fact they think 50+ people are all flush with retirement money. Avoid it at all costs.
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 The men I encounter online want their baggage overlooked, but expect the woman to be perfect.
rightondude Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 lately Tinder and even Bumble has been filled with scammers. Pics with "follow me on snap juicybooty6969" or such ... it's turned into garbage. The gig is up. I'm giving up on it and probably dating as a whole for a little while.
CLS63AMG Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 (edited) lately Tinder and even Bumble has been filled with scammers. Pics with "follow me on snap juicybooty6969" or such ... it's turned into garbage. The gig is up. I'm giving up on it and probably dating as a whole for a little while. The biggest problem with the swipe apps is their stupid algorithms. Its far from just signing up and swiping away. With the matches I get I figure I get shown about once every 2 to 4 weeks because I'll get anywhere from 1 to 8 matches all clumped together and then its crickets for anther 2-4 weeks, then it'll happen again. Its usually about 4 matches all together, within the same hour every 2-4 weeks. When they show me probably slots in with every other dudes account and how many there are as its just a big scam. They do this to entice you to just pay. If you delete the app and sign up again, it'll show you right away (so you don't delete it right away) and you'll get some matches, then crickets again for a couple weeks. Its just a money making scheme. I think also if you get perpetually left swiped they stop showing you to the better looking women as they don't want them to delete the app and leave. I am not sure about that one but know for sure there are layers and layers of algorithms at work on all those apps. Edited May 26, 2019 by CLS63AMG 1
greenlights0000 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Online dating has become outdated, it feels like it has reached that embarrassing stigma that is once had back in the late 1999’s. I’m single and I don’t even use it anymore it I do believe that it’s not what it use to be 1
newyorker11356 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Online dating has become outdated, it feels like it has reached that embarrassing stigma that is once had back in the late 1999’s. I’m single and I don’t even use it anymore it I do believe that it’s not what it use to be Huh? It's become far from outdated lol. If anything, it's more popular than ever.
MeadowFlower Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I created an account which gives you a profile page. I added a little bio and then posted some pics in some of the adults rooms specific for my area (r/r4rcityspecific). It's free and I can respond or initiate chats with whoever I want. No algorithm involved. Thanks Rayce 1
Trail Blazer Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I guess there are a lot of factors which will make it a success for one person and a failure for another. It is definitely challenging for both sexes in different ways. Women are bombarded with messages and guys have to jump through a number of hoops before they even get a look-in. I haven't used dating sites a lot as I was married for so many years, then was in another relationship 2 weeks after joining match, which lasted a year. I am only on one dating site at the moment, POF, which seems to be working well for me so far. I've only been on for 2 weeks though. I could imagine that for people who don't live in a heavily populated area, OLD wouldn't work that well, especially the swipey apps. I live in a reasonable sized city, and I haven't found there to be a shortage of women. I could only imagine that Tinder in places like NY would be like a kid in a candy store. I don't think there is a magic answer, but perhaps being 50+ is just working against you. Good luck!
guest569 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I don't understand why you can swipe on tinder until "there's noone new around you" but then there's a bunch of "top picks" waiting. I also notice they have the icon where tonnes of people have apparently swiped you. But I already swiped everyone so where are the rest? You have to upgrade and pay to see who, but my guess is its a lie. I've already swiped left. 1
Cinnamon_Girl Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I am on three online dating sites. Two are pay sites, and one is free. I am doing okay on one of the pay sites, getting zilch from the other (Match) and am getting lots of interest and dates from the free site. I am a 54 year old female. OLD has gotten much better for me in this last year. What perplexes me about Match is that so many men there have no pic, and basically a blank profile, then they "like" me. What kind of response do they think they will get with no pic and nothing to say? I was surprised to see so much of this on Match- why would a person pay to be a member, and have a blank profile?
Ruby Slippers Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 (edited) Hey Ruby, IIRC you had met an ex-Marine who you really liked. Was that him? In any case, sorry it didn't work out. Thank you We had ideal fun, romance, and sex, but he won't cut it for long-term/marriage, as his mentality and habits around work and money are immature and irresponsible. He'd be a risk and a liability in that regard, making it a dead end. After a lot of off and on, the reality sank in fully, I broke it off a few weeks ago, and we parted peacefully. I feel overall we're both better off for our time together, but it couldn't last. Edited May 26, 2019 by Ruby Slippers
Andy_K Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I don't understand why you can swipe on tinder until "there's noone new around you" but then there's a bunch of "top picks" waiting. I also notice they have the icon where tonnes of people have apparently swiped you. But I already swiped everyone so where are the rest? You have to upgrade and pay to see who, but my guess is its a lie. I've already swiped left. Normally it means they're all outside your filter criteria, typically age or distance.
CLS63AMG Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I don't understand why you can swipe on tinder until "there's noone new around you" but then there's a bunch of "top picks" waiting. I also notice they have the icon where tonnes of people have apparently swiped you. But I already swiped everyone so where are the rest? You have to upgrade and pay to see who, but my guess is its a lie. I've already swiped left. Those blurred out people that have right swiped you are just people you left swiped on and they'll be in that cache into they delete their accounts. I paid to see who it was on OKC because I am a guy and there were over 25 women in there. I wasn't into a single one of them. 2
CLS63AMG Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 I am on three online dating sites. Two are pay sites, and one is free. I am doing okay on one of the pay sites, getting zilch from the other (Match) and am getting lots of interest and dates from the free site. I am a 54 year old female. OLD has gotten much better for me in this last year. What perplexes me about Match is that so many men there have no pic, and basically a blank profile, then they "like" me. What kind of response do they think they will get with no pic and nothing to say? I was surprised to see so much of this on Match- why would a person pay to be a member, and have a blank profile? Match uses bot accounts to like yours to entice you to pay if you made a free account. I figured they only did it to men but apparently they do it to women as well. Usually right after you pay, all those accounts that liked you miraculously disappear. I am still waiting for a major lawsuit against this obvious fraud
greymatter Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 OLD was a positive experience for me. Had one relationship post divorce that lasted a year. It was fun but with the benefit of hindsight, good that it ended after it became long distance 6 months in, and went on for another six months. It ended in December 2016. I used OLD for a year and a few months after that and dated different men, and usually went on 2-3 dates with each man. I then met my partner in March 2018 (on OK Cupid, which I never paid for) and have been extremely happy with him. I would have never, ever met him if not for OLD. Just had to post a positive story. OLD is not all bad. It took me a while to meet someone, but OLD worked for me. 1
alphamale Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 OLD was a positive experience for me. Had one relationship post divorce that lasted a year. It was fun but with the benefit of hindsight, good that it ended after it became long distance 6 months in, and went on for another six months. It ended in December 2016. I used OLD for a year and a few months after that and dated different men, and usually went on 2-3 dates with each man. I then met my partner in March 2018 (on OK Cupid, which I never paid for) and have been extremely happy with him. I would have never, ever met him if not for OLD. Just had to post a positive story. OLD is not all bad. It took me a while to meet someone, but OLD worked for me. OLD works for some people but it is the minority 1
guest569 Posted May 26, 2019 Posted May 26, 2019 Those blurred out people that have right swiped you are just people you left swiped on and they'll be in that cache into they delete their accounts. I paid to see who it was on OKC because I am a guy and there were over 25 women in there. I wasn't into a single one of them. Ohh I see. That makes sense. But it very misleading. I think I came to the same conclusion on bumble when I trialed the premium for free and you can see everyone who has already liked you. I don't see much value in that.
rightondude Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 I think also if you get perpetually left swiped they stop showing you to the better looking women as they don't want them to delete the app and leave. I am not sure about that one but know for sure there are layers and layers of algorithms at work on all those apps. Yes, Bumble definitely puts you in order in terms of attractiveness/popularity. You can tell when you get to the "bottom of the barrel" (which is likely where I am). I have found decent enough success with the boost options to get your profile in front for like 30 minutes. I usually end up with 5 or so likes from doing so. Of course 99% of the time they're likes from someone I'm not into or a bogus account. But not always.
CLS63AMG Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Yes, Bumble definitely puts you in order in terms of attractiveness/popularity. You can tell when you get to the "bottom of the barrel" (which is likely where I am). I have found decent enough success with the boost options to get your profile in front for like 30 minutes. I usually end up with 5 or so likes from doing so. Of course 99% of the time they're likes from someone I'm not into or a bogus account. But not always. Could be, but more likely they just aren't showing you period. The "boost" is just showing you because otherwise they aren't. Just keep in mind the app was made to make money. If someone made one with no algo's it would put bumble and tinder out of business.
Cinnamon_Girl Posted May 27, 2019 Posted May 27, 2019 Match uses bot accounts to like yours to entice you to pay if you made a free account. I figured they only did it to men but apparently they do it to women as well. Usually right after you pay, all those accounts that liked you miraculously disappear. I am still waiting for a major lawsuit against this obvious fraud I had a paid account from the start, and all those blank profiles who "liked" me are still there. Also, there are a lot of men on Match who are just looking for sex. Many come out and say so on their profiles. Do they really think that women need to join a pay site to find a man who is just looking for sex? Lol.
MeadowFlower Posted May 28, 2019 Posted May 28, 2019 If someone made one with no algo's it would put bumble and tinder out of business. Can you do that.. Go on lol.
nospam99 Posted June 2, 2019 Posted June 2, 2019 Feast and famine ... I'm just reporting because it might shed light on the topic. Between the day I turned 65 (in February) and May 16 I got 2 responses to 39 messages I sent, a little over 5% response rate. Since then, 4 out of 10, 40% overall, 2 out of 4 on POF for 50% and 2 out of 6 on Match for 33%. It's worth noting that one of the 'conversations' on each platform was started by the woman. Is spring in the air? With respect to the 'next step', one woman on each platform has said they'll phone me. Having no explanation for this 'shift' in results, I'll fall back on the often stated observation that OLD is a numbers game just like dating in general.
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