Selfish?

[Selfishmotived]

My boyfriend wants to move in with me soon since we’ve been dating for several years but I have not yet made decision whether I am comfortable with it at this time. At the same time my adult daughter is having issues with her boyfriend and she lives several hundred miles away. It is a possibility that she will move back home for a while if they do not stay together. My boyfriend then says to me well that really makes me worried for us because isn’t that going to substantially affect us? I really didn’t know how to respond other than well as far as moving in the may be delay it because I don’t think that timing would be right for something like that since she isn’t really comfortable with him to begin with.

 

I suppose my question is well I understand he wants to move in is it somewhat selfish on his part to only be concerned about how it really affects him even though he’s making it sound that it could affect us? Should he be a little more supportive and understanding and not give me pressure under the circumstances since if my daughter does have to move home I’m gonna have my hands full for a while?

[The Outlaw]

This is a big 'if', so don't worry about it for the time being. But should either one move in with you, have a meeting just come to terms with living arrangements that you feel everyone would be comfortable with.

[Gaeta]

Your daughter will need your love and support and that's what a mom is for. She is also an adult and she will get her life back on track in a short period of time, this won't be a permanent move. If your boyfriend doesn't understand that part, and is unwilling to be part of it...why is he your boyfriend?

 

 

 

Why your daughter doesn't like him?

[Grey40]

I mean If you really like the guy and want to take it to the next level why wouldn’t you move in? I mean, I know it’s your daughter but if she’s an adult she’s got to handle her own problems. And if she moves out, she can’t get her own place? Why would she have to move in with you? I’m confused. She’s poor?

[chillii]

Thinking if that was my daughter l think it's insensitive and selfish of him and he also has zero comprehension.

[basil67]

Get a place with a spare bedroom so that anyone's kids or visitors have a place to stay.

[Flame Aura]

Off course she's your daughter so you will always be there for her when she needs you, but if she's an adult she has her own life and you should have yours and shouldn't need to put your life on hold for her.

[d0nnivain]

My boyfriend wants to move in with me soon since we’ve been dating for several years but I have not yet made decision whether I am comfortable with it at this time.

 

You are obviously an adult. You have been with your guy for YEARS & still are not ready to move in with him. This isn't about your daughter or some possible future action on her part. This is about you not wanting to live with your guy & being unable to straight up say that. You are using your daughter as an excuse. If she reconciles with her own BF or doesn't move back closer to you, then you will have another excuse why you can't live with your BF. Fact remains, you don't want to live with your BF. That is OK but tell the truth about it; stop hiding behind your daughter.

[Redhead14]

They are both kinda jumping the gun. It's an "IF" right now. They should move forward with their own lives, not put themselves on hold for an adult child's "IF". Hope for the best, plan for the possibility.