Ghosted again

[lurker74]

So I started chatting with a woman on Match. Things fell away. Then we happened to match on Bumble (I didn't notice it was the same woman...different pictures)...then I started seeing someone else for a few days and my attention wandered. Fast forward a few days and she is heavily pursuing me via text. I was going to break it off but long story short, we had a nice chat.

 

We met for brunch...it went well. Met for coffee a couple days later...it went well and she practically assaulted me with her mouth in the parking lot. I set up a Saturday date. Friday, I texted her asking if she wanted me to pick her up of if she wanted to meet in the city. Again, long story short, she was freaking out because even though she'd been out of a relationship for a bit, her life was a series of very long term relationships and she felt like she needed to date around. I told her, hey, I wasn't looking to settle down anyway but no problem...good luck.

 

Then she texted me Saturday morning and asked if I wanted to just grab a drink that night...low key, not a "fancy" date. We did...drinks, dinner, dancing...I did not want to sleep with her because of the back and forth but another heavy making out session.

 

Then we go through the week and she invites me to a show Friday night. I go with her...great time, although I have to leave early because of child care issues so we don't hang out afterward. I text her, thanking her. She thanks me back. Then Saturday, I texted her twice...nothing. Sunday, I texted her again, asking if she was OK. Nothing.

 

So the good news is that I'm done and whatever...I don't mind giving her an extra chance. But now I am facing this dilemma. I am not sure if I should send her a goodbye text or just let the ghost fade away. I was thinking of sending this:

 

"Hey...I just wanted to say that it was nice getting to know you a bit. Clearly, we are at different points in our lives and I wish you the best in finding what you need."

 

My gut says don't send anything but I am interested in your thoughts.

[Versacehottie]

Um, go with your gut--don't send anything. First of all, this is one case where you don't need to rise above--at all.

 

Second of all, i think she sounds like the type who doesn't like to have a hole in her schedule, so that's why you got the saturday am call to fill in her slot for Saturday evening. Not 100% genuine IMO--my gut feeling haha. So that's the second reason you don't need to be extra chivalrous.

 

Third, I actually think you will hear from her again when she gets bored or there is another open slot--it will be entertaining for you. And you will learn something interesting i think--which won't happen if you send your text.

 

Lastly, i think you have contacted her enough times since saturday so the ball is in her court. No need to say what indeed is occurring if she is indeed ghosting--no need to sum it up and/or try to make her feel guilty (she won't anyway), etc etc. Good luck

[Redhead14]

IMO, this is not ghosting. Ghosting is when someone disappears out of the blue in an established relationship.

 

This situation is just plain "we went out a couple of times and it just didn't click". I don't see a need to put a Period on it. Like I've said before, people need to stop getting "attached" and having expectations so early and they need to stop being candy asses when a dating scenario doesn't work out especially so soon.

 

Let it go. If she reaches out again, ignore it too.

Edited May 20, 2019 by Redhead14

[CLS63AMG]

She's nothing but a rebounder, she comes calling when her ex is ignoring her or her heart is broken. These types are the #1 cause of ghosting because they really don't care about you, its all about their ex. Thank dating apps for this, they get dumped on Monday and they're on apps by Wednesday. They aren't ready to date and use people off them to get their mind off their ex's. They are all over those apps like land mines.

 

 

Also stop being a creep and texting her, she didn't reply the first time yet you sent two and are going to send a third? She's back with her ex - move on.

Edited May 20, 2019 by CLS63AMG

[Gretchen12]

If you send that text she'll just think she did the right thing to ignore you, or she'll tell herself she intended to reply Monday until YOU ended it with that text.

[Highndry]

You already sent her 3 texts which was at least 1 too many. Sending another is an exercise in futility and just makes you look worse. Move on.

[I'veseenbetterlol]

I have no sympathy for people who ghost. Don't send her anything.

[elaine567]

... she invites me to a show Friday night. I go with her...great time, although I have to leave early because of child care issues so we don't hang out afterward. I text her, thanking her. She thanks me back. Then Saturday, I texted her twice...nothing. Sunday, I texted her again, asking if she was OK. Nothing.

 

The childcare issues and you leaving early may not have gone down too well...

[The Outlaw]

Actions speak louder than words and anyone that ghosts you says it all. I've been on the receiving end of it myself and made the mistake of sending the idiot a few more texts afterwards. But she wasn't anymore worth it than this woman is. The text maybe read, but you likely won't get a response. Brush her off and move on. Ghosting is immature, tasteless and disrespectful. If anything, she did you a favor.

[where do i begin]

Hmmmm... I’m going to say that since you already sent her a few texts, don’t send her anymore. Especially not a goodbye text. I’d maybe give it like two weeks and then reach out with a simple “hello” text. And see where it goes from there. Good luck!

[chillii]

lt's only been what , a day or two, jesus.

wth would you even be sending something like that anyway let alone so soon.

Who knows what was going on over the weekend, she might;ve gotten sick or had some drama or spent it with someone else or 10 other things, not like you were joined at the hip.

 

Besides , even if she just doesn't even bother getting back to you then she certainly doesn't need or deserve , or givafk actually, something like that.

[mortensorchid]

Ghosting is when someone you've been in an established relationship with vanishes. This gal just nipped it in the bud and said "We're done" with that text. Just move on, it's over with.