MeanGrinch Posted May 19, 2019 Posted May 19, 2019 My ex cheated on me. I’m not sure if he slept with her, but I know he went to her apartment. Here my question; can you really cheat on someone you love?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 19, 2019 Posted May 19, 2019 I think so. It's not a good expression of love, obviously, but I think it's possible to love someone and still cheat on them.
The Outlaw Posted May 19, 2019 Posted May 19, 2019 Absolutely. But at the loss of trust. In the end, the relationship likely isn't worth it.
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2019 Posted May 19, 2019 The cheater can absolutely have feelings for the person they betray. They may even love the person but the cheater has no self control. Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship.
preraph Posted May 19, 2019 Posted May 19, 2019 (edited) If a person really deeply loved someone, the very last thing they would want to do to them is hurt them, so I view people who claim to love you but cheat on you as people who don't love very deeply .....or are just in love with sex. I came to this conclusion when I saw how deeply my uncle hurt when he got drunk and had someone pushing a young hooker on him. He and his wife were married I guess about 35-40 years by then. He worshipped the ground she walked on. They had a nice smooth relationship. He was a little older than her and very handsome, like a movie star, a WWII vet. She was gorgeous too, like a movie star. He sometimes went and checked on an inlaw who was an alcoholic and always looking for trouble and had trashy people around and he got too drunk and before he knew it this hooker was, I guess, down on him or very close to it. He didn't try to hide it. He was bereft and so ashamed and just absolutely beside himself with grief about what he'd done. He came clean and didn't try to cover anything up to anyone and confessed to his wife, who just told him to stop drinking. It just killed him that he might have hurt her or might lose her. He was a very ethical man and we all miss him. He'd have done anything for her or her for him. That's love. It's rare. Edited May 19, 2019 by preraph 1
Mr. Lucky Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 can you really cheat on someone you love? Someone they love, yes. But someone they respect? No.... Mr. Lucky 3
alphamale Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 once someone cheats on you the relationship should be over
alphamale Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship. so true donnivain
Redhead14 Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 The 3 relationship aspects that must exist parallel to love: Honesty, Trust and respect. 2
Foxhall Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 I would say when the love is really strong, No they will not cheat on you, cheating is brought on by the novelty, the lure of temptation and when at the point of a relationship, the initial love has faded a little over time, it is probably particularly hard for young love to last, one partner may not be quite as into the other partner, the initial lust and so on will wane and people are lured by the attraction of a new adventure, possibly kids keep couples together but do they really love other In summary if the love between you is really strong neither of you will cheat but for how long is the love "really strong" perhaps one month/6 months/year/5 years/lifetime
Redhead14 Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 I also think you should turn your question around. The question should be: "Do you love someone who cheats on you"? Honesty, trust, respect = self-respect also. 3
DrReplyInRhymes Posted May 20, 2019 Posted May 20, 2019 Love and cheating are independent of each other, and they are not mutually exclusive. However, one is a prerequisite for most relationships, the other is a prerequisite for some breakups.
neowulf Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 People are human. Humans are emotionally messy. Humans make mistakes. Of course it's possible to still love your partner, yet be unfaithful. Sometimes loving someone isn't enough to work through the problems that are tearing you apart. Sometimes attraction sneaks up on people and hooks them before they realise what's happening. It's sad and awful, but it is what it is.
BaileyB Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 (edited) To be fair, cheating on the person you love and should protect more than any other isn’t a “mistake.” It is a conscious decision, to act in a way that is hurtful to another person and put your own selfish needs ahead of the other person. A “mistake” is forgetting to put the garbage out, or ordering that dessert when you were already full... or, staying with a person who tries to minimize the betrayal and does not take responsibility for their own decisions - by suggesting that they love you and made a “mistake” when they went to an apartment and had sex with someone else... Sure, it’s possible to love someone and cheat on them. The issue becomes - that individual loves themselves more than their partner. They also have no respect or consideration for their partner, or they would never do something that would cause pain for the person they love. Edited May 21, 2019 by BaileyB
Veronica73 Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 Sure, it’s possible to love someone and cheat on them. The issue becomes - that individual loves themselves more than their partner. They also have no respect or consideration for their partner, or they would never do something that would cause pain for the person they love. This, plus they are also they are seriously lacking in honesty and integrity. Not good partnership material as far as I’m concerned.
Veronica73 Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 (edited) Also, I have to say in addition to what Enigma said. It’s not just that a cheater may (or probably will) be a cheater again. I’d say you have to look at a lot more things, like if they are they honest in general? Do they take responsibility for their actions? Have you noticed them taking advantage of anyone, even if it is a small thing? Are they conscientious? Do they take responsibility for their choices in life? I feel like deficiencies in all of those things could lead to someone being a cheater. Or at least to someone not being trustworthy. But they may still love you. Edited May 21, 2019 by Veronica73
I'veseenbetterlol Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 When you really love someone, you would never betray them. I see cheating as the ultimate betrayal. If the person cheats, they don't love you all that much.
somanymistakes Posted May 21, 2019 Posted May 21, 2019 It's possible to love someone and cheat on them, if you're mixed up enough. But it isn't possible to be in a healthy relationship and cheat on them. Mental problems, self-esteem issues, alcohol, all kinds of things can lead to terrible decision-making and that doesn't mean the cheater doesn't care. But it means the cheater is a mess. Saying "I'm sorry" does not fix the situation.
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