Forensicallydull Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 Hi all, A couple months ago I met this girl (we are both 23). Things started off as us just being friends but then things escalated and we ended up sleeping together and things escalated from there. We started going out on dates and things looked like they were blossoming. After the last time I saw her a mutual friend told me that she really wanted to give us a chance so I was quite hopeful that something was going to happen. A few days after that date I asked her to let me know when she was free because I would like to see her soon. Her response was that her friend is moving in with her for 3 months or so and that she isn't going to go out without her friend while she is there and that she can't have people over because her friend is has social anxiety and doesn't like people. I have been around the block a few times to know generally a response like this means that they have lost interest and are just coming up with an excuse because they don't want to just be honest and say that they have lost interest. After all my thinking is must she be there to hold her friends' hand while she pees ? But she keeps texting me from time to time saying we will make plans soon etc, and every time she does that it makes me feel all hopeful again like maybe that is a genuine reason for her not seeing me. But then I text her back, she leaves me on read for a week or so during that time I realize what an idiot I am and that I am being played and then she texts me again and the cycle continues. I have been trying to focus on my studies and other things but I still cant get her out of my head. I really do have feelings for her but I feel as if she is using me as a back-up or a source of entertainment. So I guess I need a neutral perspective on this situation and some advice as to if I should just forget about her not respond when she tries to talk or to give her the benefit of the doubt?
todreaminblue Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 tell her you recognise a cycle and be honest .....she may genuinely have legitmate reasons for having not seen you ...but you cant continue this cycle anymore ....so ...let her know you want to take her out.... make a genuine date adn that date being one on one.... if she truly cares for you she will make the date ....time and day..even if its a SHORT DATE...and she will stick to plans with you.....if she doesnt and the same old happens again......wish her well ...and say goodbye..you deserve someone who truly cares ...for you...good luck......deb
elaine567 Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 Whether you are being "played" or not is immaterial, what is happening she is showing you that you are not her priority and for that reason alone you need to move on to someone who will value your time and attention.
d0nnivain Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 I think you want more then she does. She wants casual but nothing more with you. This may be an excuse or her friend may have serious issues. It's insane to think that a grown adult can't handle 1 person coming over to the apartment. However, if this woman is really doing all this stuff to enable the friend she's not helping. Either way let the lady be in the drivers' seat. If she calls & you are open to seeing her because it's convenient & fun. go. But do not rearrange plans for her or make her any type of proiority
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