jeremyjacobs Posted May 14, 2019 Posted May 14, 2019 I slept with a long term friend of mine about 6 months ago. We were both real drunk, and it was a bit of a one night stand vibe. I followed some of my girl mate's advice and asked her out to a group hang out a few weeks later but her response was a bit lukewarm, so I decided to just leave it as it was. 3 months later we both got invited out to visit a mate who was living in europe. I could only do a one weekend, and she was keen to come out at the same time. We chatted a little to organize it but not much beyond that. When the weekend came around we met at the airport (just us two) and we got on just the same as we always did. Lighthearted and fun. We met up with our friend, and had some drinks. when we went out for a cigarette, I said to her 'its nice to see you!' - she said 'yeah its nice to reconnect after last time!'. We spoke a little about it and agreed that it was what it was - just a bit of fun. We had an absolute blast that night, cycling around from bar to bar getting drunk. Throughout the day she was teasing me: 'that guy's got better hair than you' that fat guy over there looks like you', 'you have a really silly voice' etc etc. I know that this was that flirty kind of teasing that girls do to suss out your self-assurance, and I enjoyed the banter. As the night wore on she got more and more touchy, but never overly so. At one point she went over to a big group of guys and chatted to them for about an hour. When I went over to get her cos the rest of us were leaving she said 'aaaah you're just jealous because I'm talking to other men' - I just laughed it off and said 'no its not that, I'm just sick of this bar'. When we got back to the apartment we both had to sleep on a sofa. I told her I wanted a cuddle and despite a bit of resistance, lay down next to her. We cuddled for a bit and I went in for a kiss - she sternly said 'you've had your cuddle, I'm tired and I want to sleep', so I moved myself over to the other sofa. We woke up the next day with pounding headaches. A bit later in the morning I said 'my memory's a bit hazy but I hope I wasn't inappropriate last night', she said 'no not at all!'. We were super hungover so the vibe was obviously really different, but as the day wore on the teasing came back a bit. It was less playful and more like she was just being contrary and disagreeing with me for the sake of it. Again, I figured she was just baiting me so I stayed assertive and assured in my opinions. I said 'you're being very contrary today' and she said 'yeah but just to annoy you'. I said 'you're doing it cos you like me'. She of course denied it, but I just said it again and again. Later, she even said 'I always know when I know with someone. Lots of my friends have friends that turn into boyfriends but I could never do that'. This seemed like another little test to me so I just totally ignored it. We travelled home alone together that evening, both of us really tired and ready to go home, so no vibe whatsoever by that point. headphones in kinda stuff. I fell asleep and woke up when we landed, feeling even worse and with a train ride still to go. She walked ahead of me off the plane, but I just walked at my own pace. When I caught up to her she was waiting and she said 'I'll see you next time' and gave me a soft hug and ran off. I didn't really say anything. I didn't like the way we parted so I sent her a text a little later saying 'didn't really say goodbye properly - was lovely to see you and really glad we went'. She replied a day later with 2 thumbs up emojis. nice. I sent her a laughing face and then spelled out in emojis 'can you wire me the money please' (she owed me for a restaurant bill). This girl is an unbelievable beauty, and I'm very attracted to her. I think that all these things point to her being very attracted to me as well: the teasing, the playing hard to get, the trying to make me jealous, the lukewarm goodbye. In my younger days I would have taken this stuff as totally the opposite and lost confidence. I think the best course of action is to be bold with her and tell her that I know she's into me, and I want to see her again soon. Too bold, or just right?
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2019 Posted May 14, 2019 Talking to her about the potential for a relationship is the best course at this point. I wish you luck & I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Flame Aura Posted May 14, 2019 Posted May 14, 2019 Don't overthink it. From what you have posted I wouldn't get your hopes up too much, but if you like her and want a serious relationship with her then just ask her out for dinner and see what she says. 1
Author jeremyjacobs Posted May 14, 2019 Author Posted May 14, 2019 Yeah its definitely mixed signals but where do you think the red flags are in what i said
smackie9 Posted May 14, 2019 Posted May 14, 2019 There are no "mixed" signals...it's plain as day this will not go any further than a light friendship. She's not denying anything, she has made it pretty clear she is not interested. Whatever you think you see is all in your head because your attraction for her is clouding your perception. Her time she teased you, was a line being drawn in the sand in which you are not to cross. 2
preraph Posted May 14, 2019 Posted May 14, 2019 I'm afraid I agree with Smackie on this. Her teasing was a bit over the top for flirtation and smacked of aggression and putting you in your place, so to speak. She's outright said she can't be more than friends. I think that one night was just a drunken fluke.
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