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Should I keep seeing this girl?

AceDaBrain8

By AceDaBrain8
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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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You think her goal & what it takes to achieve that are not worth the costs. She feels differently. If you truly loved her you would be supportive of her goals & dreams. Instead you only look at this from your perspective. That is not love; it's selfish.

 

At the very least you need to tell her how you feel & let her chose. It is her life after all.

 

You have choices too. If you are not happy being with somebody who has priorities outside of her relationship & her home, you are free to find a different woman whose goals are more in line with yours.

 

What you can't do is shove your perspective down her throat without giving her a day in her life.

 

 

Can I have this conversation now or should I wait 5 to 6 months?

 

Between me and you, I don't think she understands how hellacious and miserable her life will be for next 9 years

vla1120 Established Member

vla1120

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Can I have this conversation now or should I wait 5 to 6 months?

 

Between me and you, I don't think she understands how hellacious and miserable her life will be for next 9 years

 

Don't have this conversation at all! Clearly, this young woman is in the formative stages of her life and career education. You are well-established and are ready to settle down. You are in two completely different stages of your life and it is NOT for you to choose what is "hellacious and miserable" for her. It's not your life to mess with!

 

Please, walk away from her. There are plenty of other tall, curvy, beautiful women in the world for you to claim as your own property. In fact, if you like eastern European women, there are plenty who would love to be your wife and give you ALL the undivided attention you need. For the love of God, leave this girl alone!

Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

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Sounds like a troll, but if real you are incredibly selfish, it's all about what you want.

 

Please stop seeing this girl. She deserves someone better than you, a real man, you clearly are still a kid.

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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Don't have this conversation at all! Clearly, this young woman is in the formative stages of her life and career education. You are well-established and are ready to settle down. You are in two completely different stages of your life and it is NOT for you to choose what is "hellacious and miserable" for her. It's not your life to mess with!

 

Please, walk away from her. There are plenty of other tall, curvy, beautiful women in the world for you to claim as your own property. In fact, if you like eastern European women, there are plenty who would love to be your wife and give you ALL the undivided attention you need. For the love of God, leave this girl alone!

 

 

She wants to get married and have kids next 4 or 5 years, that's not just me talking

 

She is very very heavily into me.

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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Sounds like a troll, but if real you are incredibly selfish, it's all about what you want.

 

Please stop seeing this girl. She deserves someone better than you, a real man, you clearly are still a kid.

 

 

I want to give my future wife everything she wants, how am I selfish?

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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You guys are misunderstanding me

 

She can work a job but work something with easy hours and no stress. Being a doctor is a trainwreck, medical school and residency are an absolute nightmare

 

No, we are understanding you perfectly. You want her to give up her life dreams to make you happy. Marriage doesn’t generally work that way...

 

Who are you to tell her what she should do with her life?

 

Would she not be happy just having a very easy life with me?

 

No. She wants to go to med school. She has bigger dreams than working an “easy job” and cleaning up after you/having your children...

Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

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I want to give my future wife everything she wants, how am I selfish?

 

Clearly you don't, she wants to be a doctor and you want to stop her, so you can give her what YOU want not what SHE wants.

 

Selfish, selfish, selfish.

 

Grow up.

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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Don't have this conversation at all! Clearly, this young woman is in the formative stages of her life and career education. You are well-established and are ready to settle down. You are in two completely different stages of your life and it is NOT for you to choose what is "hellacious and miserable" for her. It's not your life to mess with!

 

Please, walk away from her. There are plenty of other tall, curvy, beautiful women in the world for you to claim as your own property. In fact, if you like eastern European women, there are plenty who would love to be your wife and give you ALL the undivided attention you need. For the love of God, leave this girl alone!

 

 

Its very hard to find beautiful, curvy, sexy women who are genuinely very good girls (loyal, honest, affectionate, loving, non materialistic). She is a awesome

 

Which is why I'm so scared to let go

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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No, we are understanding you perfectly. You want her to give up her life dreams to make you happy. Marriage doesn’t generally work that way...

 

Who are you to tell her what she should do with her life?

 

 

 

No. She wants to go to med school. She has bigger dreams than working an “easy job” and cleaning up after you/having your children...

 

She is a very big family oriented woman

 

See how she can take care of her future kids working 100 hours a week with that residency bull****

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Women doing their residency generally don’t get pregnant. Don’t expect her to want to get pregnant anytime soon if she goes to med school.

 

However, it is possible to chose a specialty that does not require “surgeons hours.” My family physician is a woman and she has four children. Her husband is a physician. My friend is married to a physician. He works Monday to Friday 9-6. Not everyone works crazy hours...

 

If you don’t like her future career plans - find someone else to date! As I said, she is just starting her life with school and building her career. If she goes to med school, you will have very different expectations as it related to timelines for marriage and family. You are not compatible.

 

It’s either very naive or just plain delusional to expect that a 20 year old who has said she wants to have her own career will want to marry and have children within the next few years. You are likely going to be remembered as her first serious boyfriend, nothing more and nothing less.

Edited by BaileyB
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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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Women doing their residency generally don’t get pregnant. Don’t expect her to want to get pregnant anytime soon if she goes to med school.

 

However, it is possible to chose a specialty that does not require “surgeons hours.” My family physician is a woman and she has four children. Her husband is a physician. My friend is married to a physician. He works Monday to Friday 9-6. Not everyone works crazy hours...

 

If you don’t like her future career plans - find someone else to date! As I said, she is just starting her life with school and building her career. If she goes to med school, you will have very different expectations as it related to timelines for marriage and family. You are not compatible.

 

It’s either very naive or just plain delusional to think that a 20 year old who has said she wants to have her own career to want to marry and have children within the next few years. You are likely going to be remembered as her first serious boyfriend, nothing more and nothing less.

 

 

She has told me multiple times she wants to settle down and get married very soon. She is not a typical 20/21 year old. Women in her country get married and have kids very young. She is absolutely crazy about me.

 

 

I don't think she understands how hard residency and the whole process is on the family.

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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You guys keep saying to find another girl

 

Its very very hard to find a beautiful, curvy, sexy girl who is genuinely a fantastic person who is super hardcore into me, even though i am good looking, in great shape and very successful

 

That's why I'm so scared to drop her

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Can I have this conversation now or should I wait 5 to 6 months?

 

Between me and you, I don't think she understands how hellacious and miserable her life will be for next 9 years

 

She may not but it's still her choice. You need to have this conversation sooner rather than later. Try to be more diplomatic about it then you have been on this thread. Talk to her about how much you care about her & value you her as a person. Then air your fears but do not tell her what to do. She has to come to that conclusion all on her own. If you push her to marry you & give up her professional dream, you two will end up divorced because she will be unfulfilled.

 

I want to give my future wife everything she wants, how am I selfish?

 

because you don't want to give her the choice to find out for herself that she can't have it all -- a family & a 100 hour per week grueling residency. You are not wrong those 2 goals are incompatible but you can't tell her that. She has to figure it out for herself.

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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She may not but it's still her choice. You need to have this conversation sooner rather than later. Try to be more diplomatic about it then you have been on this thread. Talk to her about how much you care about her & value you her as a person. Then air your fears but do not tell her what to do. She has to come to that conclusion all on her own. If you push her to marry you & give up her professional dream, you two will end up divorced because she will be unfulfilled.

 

 

 

because you don't want to give her the choice to find out for herself that she can't have it all -- a family & a 100 hour per week grueling residency. You are not wrong those 2 goals are incompatible but you can't tell her that. She has to figure it out for herself.

 

 

Oh yes I like her a lot. She is an awesome person. Beautiful inside and out

Foxhall Established Member

Foxhall

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You guys keep saying to find another girl

 

Its very very hard to find a beautiful, curvy, sexy girl who is genuinely a fantastic person who is super hardcore into me, even though i am good looking, in great shape and very successful

 

That's why I'm so scared to drop her

 

 

I agree with you on the attraction of the Eastern European woman, they do possess a great beauty both internally and externally,(that is not to say that other nationalities do not!!)

 

 

still trying to figure why you are so intent on making her career path decisions though,

 

 

it is up to herself to decide if the training hours are too tough and so on, you should back off on that.

 

 

is the age difference thing pushing you towards being a father figure to her also,

is it based on your own career success that you want to control and be dominant,

 

 

Are you afraid she will hook up with some bright young Doctor and leave you in the lurch,

 

 

You will have to take a chance on that I am afraid, you have to let her make her own career choices.

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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I agree with you on the attraction of the Eastern European woman, they do possess a great beauty both internally and externally,(that is not to say that other nationalities do not!!)

 

 

still trying to figure why you are so intent on making her career path decisions though,

 

 

it is up to herself to decide if the training hours are too tough and so on, you should back off on that.

 

 

is the age difference thing pushing you towards being a father figure to her also,

is it based on your own career success that you want to control and be dominant,

 

 

Are you afraid she will hook up with some bright young Doctor and leave you in the lurch,

 

 

You will have to take a chance on that I am afraid, you have to let her make her own career choices.

 

Sacrificing all her time, probably her sex drive, etc... all for more money is a horrible deal for me

 

I make enough for 2 households. I don't need any more money. I need a wife who is always available and will be super loyal and loving for me and will also have somewhat close to my ridiculous sex drive

Foxhall Established Member

Foxhall

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it may not be about the money with her,

 

 

smart intellectual girls like their independence too!

 

 

hmmn at the risk of now offending my Eastern European friends, I myself have often come across the "golddigger" types from these cultures,

 

 

yes very beautiful friendly women but also out for what they can get,

 

 

so in terms of the typical girl you are looking for, you are on the right wavelength!

 

 

however this particular lady may not fall into the "golddigger category"- she may genuinely want to build her own career and that should be ok!!

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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it may not be about the money with her,

 

 

smart intellectual girls like their independence too!

 

 

hmmn at the risk of now offending my Eastern European friends, I myself have often come across the "golddigger" types from these cultures,

 

 

yes very beautiful friendly women but also out for what they can get,

 

 

so in terms of the typical girl you are looking for, you are on the right wavelength!

 

 

however this particular lady may not fall into the "golddigger category"- she may genuinely want to build her own career and that should be ok!!

 

 

Can't she do a normal ****ing job without 100 hours and ungodly stress?

h0000 Established Member

h0000

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You guys keep saying to find another girl

 

Its very very hard to find a beautiful, curvy, sexy girl who is genuinely a fantastic person who is super hardcore into me, even though i am good looking, in great shape and very successful

 

That's why I'm so scared to drop her

 

All for yourself and your own pleasure. You sound selfish and have a low self esteem that you need to control her career choice.

If you loved her, you'd love her doing no matter what.

I also agree you sound like a troll.

LenaRea Established Member

LenaRea

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Sacrificing all her time, probably her sex drive, etc... all for more money is a horrible deal for me

 

I make enough for 2 households. I don't need any more money. I need a wife who is always available and will be super loyal and loving for me and will also have somewhat close to my ridiculous sex drive

 

 

ME, ME, ME!!!!

 

Oh. My. God. Are you serious? Clearly, it has never occurred to you that perhaps it actually ISN’T about you. Perhaps, she has a loftier and higher-minded goal in life, like maybe HELPING PEOPLE!! Not everything is about money.

 

And you definitely need reminding on the hour, every hour, that not everything is about you.

 

Please put this poor girl, because that is precisely what she is, out of your misery.

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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All for yourself and your own pleasure. You sound selfish and have a low self esteem that you need to control her career choice.

If you loved her, you'd love her doing no matter what.

I also agree you sound like a troll.

 

Career choice?

 

I want a wife with an easy job so she can be very available to me, my kids, our family, etc... Women already have horrendous sex drive. I can't imagine how much their sex drive gets destroyed with the stress of medical school - I have the sex drive of a raging rhino.

 

I was born in a third world country. Maybe I'm just better off finding a beautiful woman back home who will love to be my stay at home wife? (Or work part job wife)

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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I was born in a third world country. Maybe I'm just better off finding a beautiful woman back home who will love to be my stay at home wife? (Or work part job wife)

 

Clearly.

 

10 characters.

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Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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I was born in a third world country.

 

I could have guessed that. Go back to your third world country. You can buy a girl from some family there or from a sex trafficker.

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AceDaBrain8 Member

AceDaBrain8

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I could have guessed that. Go back to your third world country. You can buy a girl from some family there or from a sex trafficker.

 

You guys are making it sound like I'm looking for a woman to be my slave

 

I want a beautiful, hot and sexy woman - yes - but I also want her to be intelligent, funny, very loving, loyal, sweet, etc...

 

I just don't want her to work 100 hours a week in a miserable and stressful environment. Oh and I will be a fantastic dad and hushand. I will be as loyal as it gets and completely devote myself to my family.

 

I don't think i would need to buy anybody. I'm very very good looking for our ethnicity standards in addition to being very successful, certainly lots of women back home will want to marry me? I would be a damn near male model caliber back home (on American white standards, I'm merely a 7/10)

h0000 Established Member

h0000

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Posted (edited)

First, keep bragging about your looks and wealth, is deep insecurity.

 

Second, only look at what you want, what you need, what you like, is selfishness.

 

Third, she needs to do the kind of job you want her to do, because U think she will like it, U think she will need it, is controlling.

 

Interestingly, insecure,controlling and selfish often come together. I wonder if your background have anything to do with this. Or were you bullied when you first moved here? Deep down, you dont have confidence.

 

Forth..hm..she should run.

Edited by h0000
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