smelltheroses Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 hi everyone, so my boyfriend of 10 months agreed to come to mother’s day dinner last night with his mom. he’s hispanic (i’m white). ive met his mom a bunch, he has met my mom, but it would’ve been the first time our moms were meeting eachother. to preface this: a few weeks ago his mom had a bday party where she got smashed and his 17 year old sister also got hammered. his sister’s friend ended up stealing my fav pair of booties and i never received a real apology for it. i then got that same sister a necklace and some earrings for her bday after that and i never got a thank you. his family has always been nice to me so this was a surprise. anyways, back to mother’s day.. yesterday we had dinner reservations at 4:30 and the restaurant was 40 min away. so i call him at 3:30 to confirm when he’s picking me up. he says change of plans, his mom is angry at him for not wishing her a happy mother’s day on the 10th, which is when mexicans traditionally celebrate. she also said if i wanted her to come that bad i would’ve invited her myself…(???) he says he and his mom are both not coming, that he can drive me but he can’t stay. i tell him that it’s rude to cancel last minute especially as my mom made reservations. he then says yep i can drive you..i say no, i’ll uber. tell your mom i say happy mother’s day. he says “okay” and then “it probably wasnt the best time to have them meet anyway. oh well.” this was at 4pm yesterday, it is now 8am today with zero outreach from him. he’s pretty frequent with texting so that was not normal for him. i’m not sure how to proceed forward. this is after a slew of other little issues – our sex life has dwindled, we don’t really go on dates anymore, he spends his time always playing computer games. what should i do? should i wait for him to reach out? what should i say? am i overreacting? thanks for your advice!
Redhead14 Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 this is after a slew of other little issues – our sex life has dwindled, we don’t really go on dates anymore, he spends his time always playing computer games. You're calling him your boyfriend in the same post with this statement??? Go out and find yourself a grown up man who's truly interested in being with you and making a nice life together. 3
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 This bad behaviour from his family is not a great thing either, do you really want to be associated with these people? Time to cut and run. 1
stillafool Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 I think he's trying to break up with you. I would let him if I were you. 1
amaysngrace Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 You’re being treated like dirt by everyone in his life and him being okay with it should tell you all you need to know. I could see if at least he treated you well but it doesn’t even sound like he is either. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 The Mother's Day thing alone I could counsel you to power down about but the sum of everything . . . what is the upside for you to stay with him? 2
ExpatInItaly Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 i’m not sure how to proceed forward. this is after a slew of other little issues – our sex life has dwindled, we don’t really go on dates anymore, he spends his time always playing computer games These are not "little" issues, OP. These are glaring red flags that he's either complacent as heck after just 10 months, or has been losing interest in you and will likely break up with you soon. You two need to talk. I would be very upset that he canceled last-minute and didn't bother to let you know until you tried to confirm with him. This isn't a guy with much care or respect for you. Rather than focusing only on the Mother's Day debacle, I would look at the overall picture here. It's only been 10 months and your relationship is already on the decline - and you are the only one who seems to be worried about that. I think it is high time that you make a decision about whether this is really worth it. He appears to be waiting for you to do the dirty work and pull the plug.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 I'd cut my losses and move on. He's very immature and you're not going to get anywhere with him.
smackie9 Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 Well now that you know him and his family are a $%^& show. There is nothing you can do to change them or their behavior, but you can change your situation....I think it's time to walk away. 1
kendahke Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 what should i do? Let it go. What will dragging it up constantly solve? Then let him go. It seems clear from this that he values his mother's estimation of himself over yours.
olivetree Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 smelltheroses, it's time to smell the roses. They stink. 2
preraph Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 I think you should consider that he flaked on three people for Mother's Day, his mother, your mother, and you. I also think you should take into consideration that he comes from a family with shaky ethics, stealing from people, and bad manners. Be careful what you want, because to me, he just doesn't sound like he's made of quality man stuff. 1
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