TheFinalWord Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 Are you sure about that number? Wow, I guess I'm luckier than I thought with my height. Assuming normal distribution with average height of 5'9", 1 standard deviation above the mean about 14 to 16% of men in the US are 6'+.
Gretchen12 Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 Too much work, for little or no pay off, and unnecessary. Work: having to spend time going through many profiles, then messages, then going to meet many people. I have better things to do than go through 1,000 people. No pay off: the quality of most of them not good, many guys doing OLD to get over a breakup, and even if they go for a "relationship" it doesn't last, because there are a lot of people with disorders there. Unnecessary: it's easy for girls to just get a date. Girls are being approached by men in daily life so there is no need to go online and do all that for nothing. 1
alphamale Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 OLD is filled with crazy people, 90% at least, on both sides. why do you say that BOT?
nospam99 Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 I doubt the crazy explanation. Maybe I'm the exception to crazy. I'm male. I rarely get unsolicited contact from a woman I'd be interested in meeting. But if 'she' (contact or search or match) is not attractive or there is an obvious deal-breaker (for me usually the height, age, or location she says she wants), I'm just going to ignore her. I don't see crazy on my part in that. On the other hand, if I contact a woman and I get no response there's ALWAYS an easy superficial explanation that I don't see as crazy. I.e. even if my height and age are not immediately deal-breakers, I'm ALWAYS at the low end of her height range and the high end of her age range. Add to that my photos: not that an OLD woman's profile says how good-looking they want the men they meet to be, I can very well not be handsome enough for her. Three easy possibilities, none of which the woman is going to tell me (usually - maybe 1-2% will respond with a 'you're not tall/young/cute enough' message). I may not like those possibilities. But nothing crazy there. Women have standards, same as I do. 1
Foxhall Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 OLD is filled with crazy people, 90% at least, on both sides. Ok, well to begin the above comment is off the wall and incorrect. there may be some crazy people on it but hey there is plenty of them IRL too(I like the acronym some of you use!) OP, women find online dating non productive because: A- they approach it half- hearted or in a way feeling "that they should not really be here" B- OLD attracts high achievers of women who have high expectations and the potential suitors online may just come up a tad short. C- they are using the cheap sites that attracts all sorts rather than using the proper subscription pay sites. D- fair enough it will never be as natural as meeting in person. It is also incorrect that online dating attracts broken people, there are plenty of good people online, just for one reason or another it has not happened for them in terms of finding the right partner In terms of a first date arising from online dating sites, these can be tense affairs particularly if the couple are on the shyer side, but look you can get lucky too and actually find someone you gel with. I still feel it is a useful mechanism though, I spoke previously about my own frustrations with it, however I have had a date go better recently (and am getting a second date!!) so am feeling somewhat more confident again, think about it as something to enjoy, you are meeting a new friend possibly, it is no big deal meeting for a coffee and if there is no chemistry just move on and if it works out, great! I would also encourage the less confident women to give it a try, not cheap hook up sites like tinder and so on, but proper subscription dating sites, obviously I am not familiar with the American OLD scene, but to look for the more upmarket websites that will attract the more serious people.
h0000 Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 from my understanding any girl that signs up for online dating gets 1000's of options/matches a day. there has to be atleast 5-10 guys out of those 1000's that are genuine nice guys who are just shy and scared to talk to girls in real life. No we dont. We dont find 1000s of men attractive. Realistically, only based on online photos, we'd find 500 guys attractive at most. (If we are picky that'd be only 200) Out of 500, we may match 300 or less. Then only 50-100 will talk. Then only 10 will carry on a convo for more than 3 days. Then only 3 will end up actually meeting you then usually none will result in anything long term. And now if Im looking for something long term I gotta factor in jobs,family,education, habits etc etc and that eliminates even more guys. 1
h0000 Posted May 14, 2019 Posted May 14, 2019 Speaking of curiosity, how challenging is the height parameter if you don't mind me asking? depends on women. Some women are flexible and dont care much about height. Some are super strict. IRL i have dated guys same height with me. OLD however i set height limit to at least 6 ft. Because 6 ft or above gives me the best physical feeling since myself is tall. But IRL if you are charming enough I will still be attracted and overlook the fact that you arent big. OLD however, you cant show me how charm you are. That's unfortunate but that's how it is
Iris The Butterfly Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 Because... It’s not that easy and it’s not safe. There are a lot of very creepy men online. They message every woman online hoping that someone will respond. In my very short time online, I was sexually propositioned and called a stuck up $%#£* because I told someone that I was “not interested in meeting him but I wished him well with his search.” Gosh, if all the men online were like my current boyfriend - sincere, nice guys who could be trusted and were in it for the right reasons... online dating would be wonderful. The reality is far from it though... In my terrible days of OLD, I would message with so many men and go on at least one date a week with someone new, sometimes twice in a week... I've had to block people, I was also cussed out by a creep, I've been solicited for "body pics", I would get requested on IG, and now have a total stranger following me on social media liking all my pics but still not wanting to meet, it's just.... predatory I find. It's fake and predatory. Men can hide behind a mask/screen. I've been cussed out, asked for sex, asked for sexy pictures, all before even meeting someone. There ARE a lot of nice guys online. It's just weeding through the bad ones to get to them, and the nice guys seem to be the exception. It's a LOT of work to do that. You have to message with and talk to, and MEET in some cases, a lot of people in order to find the prince charming. Between my personal experience, the stories I heard from my husband about his experiences with nutty gold digging women on line when he was single & the stuff I have read here on LS, you couldn't pay me to post another profile if I ever found myself single again. I feel the same. My sincerest hope is that I never will find myself online ever again. Ironic that I met my bf of about 7 months now on Bumble. He was the exception. Once I found out how HE shared the same view about OLD as I have, and he did not go out with many women that he met online, he was selective, etc. I saw he was one of the good ones. And I couldn't tell you how happy it made me to hear him say a couple weeks after we met, "I'm hopeful about us and I wanted to let you know I deleted my profile online. I'm not interested in dating anyone else and I don't want anyone else to jeopardize what we have." Soon after I deleted my own profile and was that a happy day. Ugh, just thinking about my experiences online, I still hate it. Too much work, for little or no pay off, and unnecessary. Work: having to spend time going through many profiles, then messages, then going to meet many people. I have better things to do than go through 1,000 people. No pay off: the quality of most of them not good, many guys doing OLD to get over a breakup, and even if they go for a "relationship" it doesn't last, because there are a lot of people with disorders there. Unnecessary: it's easy for girls to just get a date. Girls are being approached by men in daily life so there is no need to go online and do all that for nothing. The amount of time I spent swiping, reading profiles, messaging, talking to, and meeting total strangers.... was such a waste of time. It was too much work for very little payoff. By the time I met my bf I was so over it. We met on a Monday and that same Saturday we had our second date. I am so happy that I've never had to talk to any other guy online ever since, and I can say very confidently that I never want to again either.
GuitarGuy7 Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 Wanna hear a joke? Online dating is hard for women.
nospam99 Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 Wanna hear a joke? Online dating is hard for women. 'Hard' is relative (I kill me AGAIN ).
susybill2019 Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 I'm a grown woman but years ago during the very brief time I did OLD it was horrible. I have never had problem meeting new men. Even in my late 30s, I could still catch a guy's eye in real life. That did not translate at all on OLD. I got rejection after rejection but never understood why. I consoled myself with flattering explanations I crafted in the face of silence. I was thin, reasonably attractive, tall, well dressed, well educated, financially stable, socially appropriate etc. The fact that I couldn't get a man to so much as write back to me when I sent a message though the app made no sense to me. Unlike the lament that women have full in-boxes all the time that was not my experience. Of the men I did communicate with, all were unsuitable. They were good on paper: quality educations, good jobs & genuinely nice guys, but they had no social skills & were just terribly awkward. I had never met so many people who couldn't carry a conversation in my life. I tried to be more open minded & accepted dates with 3 men, even though I wasn't attracted to any of them. All 3 dates were disasters -- awkward, painful. These guys were so stiff, looked like deer in headlights, gave me one word answers or talked about the most inappropriate things. One guy actually bragged to me that he'd been on over 300 1st dates, like that was a good thing. When my 90 day paid subscription ran out, I closed my computer & never looked back. I created a plan to meet new men in real life. I got a date on my 1st outing. He wasn't the guy for me; on our date I learned he was still hung up on his recent EX. Even though she was his favorite topic of conversation during the date, he was still charming. She wasn't the only thing we talked about & he realized he was doing it. He promised to stop & we had a 2nd date. At the end of that evening I said I thought he wasn't ready to date. He agreed. We parted amicably. Between my personal experience, the stories I heard from my husband about his experiences with nutty gold digging women on line when he was single & the stuff I have read here on LS, you couldn't pay me to post another profile if I ever found myself single again. So how did you meet your husband? The guy I talk about in another thread I met him online too. To me the difficulty of meeting online is to find a connection with someone, where the conversation goes beyond "how are you" and "what did you have for dinner". lol I am a bit fed up of online dating too. It's exhausting and depressing. I am still on an online dating app but I don't do any effort now, if a guy messages me and I like him, I respond and that's all. I'm actually thinking about starting to go to meetup.com events instead. There are ones for single people but there are other ones for different interests like sports or personal development, and you might make friends or even meet the one, but on a real life scenario.
d0nnivain Posted May 15, 2019 Posted May 15, 2019 So how did you meet your husband? We were on different sites & our parameters were set that we never would have met OL. I was above his age max; he was below my age minimum & education requirement. OL I figure if I had choices, I was going to be picky because it wasn't that hard for me to meet people IRL but I was kind of bored of dating cute guys who couldn't hold a conversation. I actually met my husband at a business card exchange. We both attended a local event hoping to drum up business. Neither of us got a new client out of that night but we got something much better.
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