Eminent11 Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) Hey guys, I met a girl 3 times we kissed made out and had awesome conversations everytime. She even called me and invited me to catch up with her. So she was definetely interested. I know she was interested but i was getting too emotional and backed off. I just came out of a relationship and i am not in the best place right now. I told her we better shouldn't see right now because i have to sort out myself. She agreed. Then a week later i texted her and said maybe we should just relax hang out together and enjoy our time. She agreed to a date. She cancelled a few hours before said she has to do more then expected for her assesment the next day, that she has to cancel, that she is really sorry and that we should catch up another day. I was becoming needy and crazy. Told her i expect from her to consider my time more and that she should show more interest, answer to messages and cancel earlier, especially because we had a great time together and i wouldnt expect that. She texted back a long text, said sorry again that she had to cancel, that she was learning the whole day and still have to do a lot. That i overreact with saying she would write back early enough. That it didn't feel spontaneous anymore and we write way too long text. That she thinks we should catch up in the future when the situation is better. I didn't reply one week. I just said sorry that she is right, i overreacted and she did nothing wrong. i am not in the best place right now and take time for myself now and that when she can see past my wrong and confusing behavior we can find out more about each other from a better starting point. She didn't reply anymore, it was 5 days ago. What should i do, is there a chance to fix that? If yes how and when should i do something? Edited May 12, 2019 by Eminent11
Caauug Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Hey guys, I met a girl 3 times we kissed made out and had awesome conversations everytime. She even called me and invited me to catch up with her. So she was definetely interested. I know she was interested but i was getting too emotional and backed off. I just came out of a relationship and i am not in the best place right now. I told her we better shouldn't see right now because i have to sort out myself. She agreed. Then a week later i texted her and said maybe we should just relax hang out together and enjoy our time. She agreed to a date. She cancelled a few hours before said she has to do more then expected for her assesment the next day, that she has to cancel, that she is really sorry and that we should catch up another day. I was becoming needy and crazy. Told her i expect from her to consider my time more and that she should show more interest, answer to messages and cancel earlier, especially because we had a great time together and i wouldnt expect that. She texted back a long text, said sorry again that she had to cancel, that she was learning the whole day and still have to do a lot. That i overreact with saying she would write back early enough. That it didn't feel spontaneous anymore and we write way too long text. That she thinks we should catch up in the future when the situation is better. I didn't reply one week. I just said sorry that she is right, i overreacted and she did nothing wrong. i am not in the best place right now and take time for myself now and that when she can see past my wrong and confusing behavior we can find out more about each other from a better starting point. She didn't reply anymore, it was 5 days ago. What should i do, is there a chance to fix that? If yes how and when should i do something? You were correct, you need time to heal and open yourself for someone new. I do not think 3 weeks is enough and by your overreaction you have not given yourself enough time. In time, maybe if you are both single it might happen but be fare to yourself and her at this point and fix yourself first. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 You probably can't fix this with her. All of the last messages you sent telegraph to her that yours are the only needs that matter. You weren't in a good place so you broke things off with her. You decided you were lonely & she was a fun distraction so you reached back out thinking she was good enough for now. She initially agreed then thought better of it & cancelled. Instead of respecting her decision you berated her. Now you are sorry for having been so brutal. Nothing in that considers her at all If you truly want to make the effort try the cliché of sending her some flowers & an apology for hurting her feelings & being snippy. Understand she doesn't trust you to be in a relationship right now because you have proved that you don't know your own mind & to her, when you tried to come back it looks like you are using her. What you should have done when you felt things getting too intense was simply pull back a little & leave more time between dates & communicate more briefly in between dates. Announcing that you weren't in a good place & stating that you didn't want to see her was a mistake. You would have been better served by just dialing it back. 1
Author Eminent11 Posted May 12, 2019 Author Posted May 12, 2019 You probably can't fix this with her. All of the last messages you sent telegraph to her that yours are the only needs that matter. You weren't in a good place so you broke things off with her. You decided you were lonely & she was a fun distraction so you reached back out thinking she was good enough for now. She initially agreed then thought better of it & cancelled. Instead of respecting her decision you berated her. Now you are sorry for having been so brutal. Nothing in that considers her at all If you truly want to make the effort try the cliché of sending her some flowers & an apology for hurting her feelings & being snippy. Understand she doesn't trust you to be in a relationship right now because you have proved that you don't know your own mind & to her, when you tried to come back it looks like you are using her. What you should have done when you felt things getting too intense was simply pull back a little & leave more time between dates & communicate more briefly in between dates. Announcing that you weren't in a good place & stating that you didn't want to see her was a mistake. You would have been better served by just dialing it back. I mean i really like her and i wanted to consider her but i felt, i liked her too much for the beginning and it somehow felt emotionally too much and too overwhelming as i had barely time to deal with my emotions after the breakup. I was just really scared not being able to give and be the guy i want to be for a girl i like.
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Flowers & apology note confessing that you were scared is the way to go.
Author Eminent11 Posted May 12, 2019 Author Posted May 12, 2019 Flowers & apology note confessing that you were scared is the way to go. You could be right but i felt it was all too stressful for her. She showed me in her messages that there is too much pressure on getting to know each other already. that it's hard to be spontaneous and just to enjoy the time together. And she said we should maybe catch up in the future again. Maybe it puts even more pressure on the whole thing if i send her flowers and it's better to give her the space and as well to really sort myself out that i can offer more positivity, fun and spontaneity to her.
Recommended Posts